Daily/Colbert - Anaerobic Announcement

  • Aired:  09/15/10
  •  | Views: 62,859

Stephen's bigger counter-announcement will suck all the oxygen from the atmosphere, leaving Jon's announcement flopping like a fish out of water. (2:41)

COMEDY CENTRAL

Captioned by

Media Access Group at WGBH

access.wgbh.org

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE

SHOW.

BEFORE WE GO WE'LL CHECK IN WITH

STEPHEN COLBERT AT THE "THE

COLBERT REPORT".

WHAT IS HAPPENING, BROTHER?

>> STILL PLANNING ON MAKING A

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT.

>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW REGARDING

A BIG EVENT?

>> MMMMM HMMMM.

>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW.

[LAUGHTER]

THE GEARS ARE IN MOTION AS WE

SPEAK, MY FRIEND.

>> Stephen: WELL, JON IT'S

GOING TO BE HARD FOR YOUR

ANNOUNCE TO GET ANY TRACTION.

>> Jon: WHY IS THAT?

>> Stephen: CONSIDERING MY

BIGGER COUNTER ANNOUNCEMENT THAT

WILL IMMEDIATELY SUCK ALL THE

OXYGEN FROM THE ATMOSPHERE AND

EFFECTIVELY STARVE YOURS

LEAVELING THE FLOPPING LIKE A

FISH OUT OF WATER.

>> Jon: WHAT IF MY

ANNOUNCEMENT IS SO BIG IT

DOESN'T NEED OXYGEN.

>> Stephen: AN ANDAREMEMBERRIC

ANNOUNCEMENT?

>> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Stephen: NICE TOUCH.

>> Jon: PERHAPS YOU WITH LIKE

A TASTE, A SWEET MORSEL OF THE

GLORY THAT I'M ABOUT TO UNVEIL

THAT WILL SATISFY YOUR

CURIOSITY, TANTALIZE YOUR SENSES

AND CRUSH YOUR SPIRIT.

I REVEAL THE IMAGINE JEST CITY

OF --

>> Stephen: YEAH.

ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU'RE GOING

TO GO BACK IN TIME AND RECOMBINE

LINCOLN'S DNA AND TURN HIM INTO

SOME KIND OF MONKEY IN AN

APE-RAHAM LINCOLN, IF YOU WILL.

THAT IS IMPRESSIVE.

>> Jon: ACTUALLY I WAS JUST

THINKING OF WHATEVER I ANNOUNCE,

I WAS THINKING OF INVITING MARK

WHALBERG TO IT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: BUT JON, JON, THAT

IS SOMETHING TO THE DOSE OF 100%

PURE UNCUT MOMENTOUSNESS THAT

I'M ABOUT TO COOK DOWN AND MAIN

LINE INTO THE UNIVERSE'S BLOOD

STREAM.

ROLL 213.

>> Jon: WHAT?

>> Jon: YOU ARE GOING TO GO TO

WASHINGTON TO HUG A GIRL NAME

JEPY.

>> Stephen: NOT ONLY THAT I'M

GOING TO GET HER PREGNANT AND

SHE'LL HAVE A CHILD AND

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