Consequence-Free Speech

  • Aired:  04/29/14
  •  | Views: 185,518

Sarah Palin gives a speech conflating a sacrament of her faith with torture. (3:41)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILYSHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

GOOD ONE TONIGHT.

MY GUEST AUTHOR WILLIAM COHAN TOTALK ABOUT THE DUKE LACROSSE

SCANDAL, THE PRICE OF SILENCE.

$3.99. IT COSTS $3.99. THAT'STHE PRICE OF SILENCE.

BUT FIRST, THERE'SBREAKING NEWS IN THE CASE

OF L.A. CLIPPERS OWNERDONALD STERLING.

HE HAS COME UNDER FIRE FOR HISTHOUGHTS ON THE

INSTAGRAM-ABILITY OF -- OF IGUESS YOU WOULD CALL IT

GIRLFRIEND AND BLACK PERSONFRIENDSHIP.

>> EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, I AMBANNING MR. STERLING FOR LIFE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: YES!

>> FROM ANY ASSOCIATION WITH THECLIPPERS ORGANIZATION OR THE

NBA.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]♪

>> Jon: WOW.

SO MUCH EXCITEMENT OUT THERE.

SO MUCH EXCITEMENT OUT THEREFROM THE ENTIRE WORLD AND EVEN

APPARENTLY THE PAST.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S GOOD TO SEE THE DISTINCTIONBETWEEN FREE SPEECH AND

CONSEQUENCE FREE SPEECH.

MY GUESS IS THIS IS NOT THEDEATH NELL FOR THIS COUNTRY'S

LONG AND PROUD TRADITIONOF CRAZY TALK.

>> IF I WERE IN CHARGE --[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: ALL I CAN SAY THERE

IS THANK GOD THAT IS AHYPOTHETICAL.

>> THEY WOULD KNOW THATWATERBOARDING IS HOW WE BAPTIZE

TERRORISTS.

[LAUGHTER]>> JON: HUH?

THAT IS SARAH PALIN GIVING ASPEECH WHERE SHE IS SOMEHOW

CONFLATING A SACRAMENT OF HERFAITH

WITH TORTURE IN ORDER TO SOMEHOWBRING THE FEAR OF GOD TO

RELIGIOUS EXTREMISTS.

[ LAUGHTER ]I DON'T EVEN -- WHERE IS THAT

SPEECH EVEN APPROPRIATE AT AN ALQAEDA RECRUITMENT HOW-TO VIDEO

WORKSHOP?

AT THE YEARLY GATHERING OF THEDUMMOLOS OR MAYBE SHE'S GIVING

ONE OF THOSE FAMED HUH TALKS.

THEY ARE LIKE TED TALKS EXCEPTTHEY MAKE NO SENSE.

WELL, SO -- TED TALKS.

[LAUGHTER]SO, WHAT ELSE DID THE FORMER

VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE OFONE OF TWO MAJOR NATIONAL

PARTIES TELL WHOEVER IT IS SHEIS TALKING TO.

>> JOE BIDEN, REMEMBER THIS HETELLING WOMEN BEFORE AN ASSAULT

JUST A FIRE WARNING SHOT UNTILTHE COPS SHOW UP.

JUST AIM UP IN THE AIR.

THAT WAS HIS DIRECTIVE.

HIS ADVICE.

WELL FINE, JOE SQUIRT GUN, IFYOUR RAPIST IS A BIRD.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: SHE SEEMS NICE.

[LAUGHTER]SO I SEE.

WELL, THE FORMER ALASKA GOVERNORWITH A CLEAR AND QUITE RYE

REFERENCE TO THE WELL KNOWNGREEK MYTH LEDA AND THE SWAN.

ZEUS IN THE FORM OF A SWANFORCED HIMSELF ON LEDA

DAUGHTER OF THESTIUS, KING OFAETOLIA LEADING TO THE BIRTH OF

HELEN OF TROY YADA YADA YADASMASH CUT CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS

DISCOVERS AMERICA AND THUS THE

FOUNDING FATHERS CREATE THEGREATEST COUNTRY GOD HAS EVER

GIVEN TO THE PEOPLE OF EARTH.

WELL PLAYED, GOVERNOR, YOU DOREAD, ALL OF THEM.

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