Indecision 2012 - The Great Right Hope - Not Chris Christie's Time

  • Aired:  10/04/11
  •  | Views: 58,707

Having repeatedly said he's not running for president, Chris Christie can finally proceed with a press conference dedicated to more pressing issues. (3:47)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW"!

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE GOT A SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

WE GOT THE AUTHOR MICHAEL LEWIS

WHO'S GOING TO BE ON THE

PROGRAM.

HE'S GOING TO BE HERE TO TALK

ABOUT HIS NEW BOOK CALLED

"BOOMERANG" SO THAT'S WHAT WE'RE

GOING TO BE DOING AND... OH,

WOW!

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

IT'S NOT LIKE WE WORKED ON THAT

FOR THREE HOURS.

(LAUGHTER)

LIKE "PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANNY."

COME ON, WE'VE GOT TO WORK ON

THIS, I DON'T KNOW WHY.

REALLY?

ALL RIGHT.

GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE,

REPUBLICAN OF NEW JERSEY IN

TRENTON, NEW JERSEY, TODAY AT

1:00 P.M. EASTERN (BLEEP) HOLE

TIME MAKING A STUNNING

ANNOUNCEMENT.

>> .

>> WHAT I'VE ALWAYS FELT WAS THE

RIGHT DECISION REMAINS THE RIGHT

DECISION TODAY.

NOW IS NOT MY TIME.

THE ANSWER WAS NEVER ANYTHING

BUT NO.

>> Jon: OH, MY GOD, CHRIS

CHRISTIE 2012!

CHRIS... WAIT.

WHAT?

(LAUGHTER)

NO?

OH.

WELL, HAVING SAID HE WASN'T

GOING TO RUN IN PRIVATE, HAVING

SAID IT ON THE TELEVISION,

HAVING SAID IT TO PRINT

REPORTERS, HAVING TAGGED IT ON

WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A

CONDEMNED TRENTON BUILDING...

(LAUGHTER).

HAVING DEMONSTRATED HIS POSITION

WHILE ATTENDING A DEVILS GAME.

(LAUGHTER)

WHO PAYS FOR PRESEASON GAMES?

IT'S OVER.

FINALLY CHRISTIE COULD PROCEED

WITH THE PRESS CONFERENCE

DEDICATED TO MORE PRESSING

ISSUES.

>> WHAT I SAID WAS I'D

RECONSIDER MY NO AND I DID.

BUT THE NO NEVER CHANGED.

I CAN'T EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH.

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING

ELSE, IT'S NOT THERE.

IT'S A NO.

NO.

BECAUSE I SAID NO.

I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THIS JOB.

I'VE SPOKEN TO A LOT OF PEOPLE

THIS MORNING AND TOLD THEM THE

ANSWER IS NO.

THAT'S NOT EVEN A RELEVANT

QUESTION ANYMORE BECAUSE I'VE

MADE THE DECISION NOT TO RUN.

I KNOW IT'S YOUR GUYS JOB TO ASK

ME THIS QUESTION A DOZEN

DIFFERENT WAYS AND I'LL ANSWER

IT ALMOST A DOZEN DIFFERENT

WAYS.

IN THE END, THE ANSWER REMAINS

THE SAME AS IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

>> Jon: GOVERNOR CHRISTIE,

OVER HERE, ONE QUESTION OVER

HERE.

I'M FROM THE "TRENTON WASN'T

LISTENING TIMES" AND THE

SECAUCUS "CAN'T GET IT THROUGH

MY (BLEEP)ING HEAD" MONTHLY.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THOSE WHO SAY

YOU SHOULD RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN

2012?

(LAUGHTER)

WE'RE ONLY PIECING TOGETHER THAT

AFTER CHRISTIE STATED HE WOULD

NOT RUN.

THE REPORTERS CONTINUED TO

REPEATEDLY ASK HIM IF HE MIGHT

RUN BECAUSE WE COULDN'T ACTUALLY

HEAR THEIR QUESTIONS.

WE COULD ONLY GAUGE THE

RIDICULOUSNESS OF THEIR

QUESTIONS BY CHRISTIE'S ANSWERS.

LET'S TRY ANOTHER ANSWER.

>> IT'S NOT A NEWS FLASH TO ME

THAT I'M OVERWEIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: I GUESS THE QUESTION

THERE WAS "IS IT A NEWS FLASH TO

YOU THAT YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT?"

(LAUGHTER)

ACTUALLY THAT, QUESTION WAS

ABOUT WHETHER GOVERNOR CHRISTIE

APPRECIATES THE MULTITUDE OF

WEIGHT-BASE HUED MORTAR ON

TELEVISION PROGRAMS.

>> FOR ME THEIR JOB IS TO BE

FUNNY AND IF ONE OF THE THINGS

THEY WANT TO MAKE FUN OF IS MY

WEIGHT IT'S FAIR GAME.

I'M A PUBLIC FIGURE.

THEY CAN MAKE FUN OF IT.

ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THAT THEY

ACTUALLY ARE FUNNY.

SO THAT I CAN AT LEAST LAUGH

ABOUT IT WHILE THEY'RE MOCKING

ME, YOU KNOW?

SOME OF THE STUFF I DIDN'T SEE

INITIALLY AND MY SON WOULD GO

"DAD, DID YOU SEE THIS ONE?"

SO HE'D BEEN GROUNDED.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: BOOM!

NOW THAT'S A JERSEY GUY.

I GOT TO SAY, I LIKE THIS GUY,

HE'S A STRAIGHT TALKER, DOESN'T

SPEAK IN TALKING POINTS.

HE'S AUTHENTIC.

HE SHOULD RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S WHY I'M GLAD HE LEFT THE

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