The Covert Report

  • Aired:  03/12/14
  •  | Views: 109,867

The Senate finally gets around to investigating the CIA's use of torture, only to have damnable data disappear from the intelligence committee's computers. (6:18)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

MY GUEST TONIGHT A YOUNG MANNAMED JASON BATEMAN.

HE'S A COMEDIAN TURNED FIRSTTIME FILM DIRECTOR.

HE IS QUITE TALENTED.

BUT FIRST REMEMBER IN 2005 WEFOUND OUT THAT AFTER 9/11

SOMETIME IN 2002 THE C.I.A. WAS

AUTHORIZED TO USE INTERROGATIONTECHNIQUES ON PRISONERS THAT

COULD BE DESCRIBED AS TORTURE.

DID I SAY COULD?

I MEANT SHOULD HAVE BEENDESCRIBED AS TORTURE BUT FOR

SOME REASON WERE NOT DESCRIBEDTHAT WAY BUT INSTEAD DESCRIBED

AS ENHANCED INTERROGATION ORFREEDOM TICKLING.

BUT YOU CAN IMAGINE THE OUTRAGE.

ACTUALLY YOU HAVE TO IMAGINE THEOUTRAGE BECAUSE REALLY NO ONE

WAS THAT OUTRAGED ABOUT IT.

CONGRESS DID NOT GET AROUND TOFULLY INVESTIGATING THESE

TORTURE REVELATIONS UNTIL 2009.

I CANNOT REMEMBER WHY IT TOOK SOLONG TO -- I WISH -- HMMMM -- I

CAN -- I'M SORRY I DON'T MEAN ICANNOT REMEMBER, I MEAN I WISH I

COULD NOT REMEMBER WHY.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT CONGRESS'SINVESTIGATION TO THE C.I.A.'S

USE OF TORTURE.

>> THEY SAY DURING THISINVESTIGATION THE C.I.A.ACCESSED

THEIR COMPUTERS AND THAT CERTAINDAMNING INFORMATION JUST STARTED

VANISHING.

>> Jon: NOW ORIGINALLY THE

INFORMATION THAT VANISHED,CONGRESS BELIEVED IT TO BE

SUICIDE.

[LAUGHTER]BECAUSE THE INFORMATION LEFT

THIS NOTE:[LAUGHTER]

BUT SOON -- WAIT, I'M UNRAVELINGA MYSTERY.

LET ME UNRAVEL A MYSTERY.

SOON SENATE INTELLIGENCE CHAIRDIANE FEINSTEIN WHO WAS LEADING

THE INVESTIGATION REALIZEDTHAT THE C.I.A. WAS POSSIBLY

SNEAKING ON THE COMMITTEE'SCOMPUTERS AND ASSASSINATING DATA

WHICH IS APPARENTLY NO BUENO.

>> THE C.I.A. SEARCH MAY HAVEVIOLATED THE FOURTH AMENDMENT,

THE COMPUTER FRAUD AND ABUSE ACTAS WELL AS THE EXECUTIVE ORDER

12333.

>> Jon: I'M GOING TELL YOUSOMETHING LISTEN CLOSELY.

YOU CAN VIOLATE THE FOURTHAMENDMENT AND THE COMPUTER FRAUD

AND ABUSE ACT BUT YOU DO NOTWANT TO (bleep) WITH ORDER

12333.

IT SAYS THE PRESIDENT OF THEUNITED STATES HEREBY DECLARES.

OH, IS THAT HOME SCREEN APICTURE OF YOUR KIDS.

IT'S NOT A PICTURE OF YOUR KIDS?THAT'S RIGH IT'S A PICTURE OF MY

KIDS SO GET YOUR (bleep) HANDSOFF MY COMPUTER.

[LAUGHTER][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS BOOK.

[ LAUGHTER ]ACTUALLY EXECUTIVE ORDER 12333

WAS AN EXECUTIVE ORDER BY REAGANFORBIDDING DOMESTIC SPYING ON

CITIZENS. HOW MANY OFTHESE FILES DID THE C.I.A.

EXTRAORDINARILY RENDITION?

A FILE, TWO FILES?

>> THIS INCLUDED ROUGHLY 870DOCUMENTS OR PAGES OF DOCUMENTS

THAT WERE REMOVED IN FEBRUARY2010.

AND SECONDLY, ROUGHLY ANOTHER 50THAT WERE REMOVED IN MID MAY

2010.

>> Jon: THEY ALSO AT THE SAMETIME RESET MY HOMEPAGE TO MSN

WHICH I THINK IS OUTRAGEOUS.

NOBODY, NOBODY USES THAT ASTHEIR HOME PAGE.

OUTRAGEOUS.

WHAT IS INCREDIBLE ABOUT THESEACCUSATIONS IS THEY ARE NOT

COMING FROM IS SENATOR RONPRIVACY IS IMPORTANT WYDEN OR

SENATOR RAND, DON'T KILL ME WITHA FLYING ROBOT PAUL.

THEY ARE COMING FROM DIANE SOTHE N.S.A. IS LOOKING AT YOUR

DATA FEINSTEIN.

>> THE SURVEILLANCE ACTIVITIESCONDUCTED UNDER FISA AND OTHER

PROGRAMS OPERATED BY THENATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY ARE

LAWFUL.

IT HAS NOT BEEN ABUSED ORMISUSED.

WE NEED THIS CAPABILITY TO KEEPPEOPLE SAFE.

>> Jon: SEE SHE DOESN'T MIND IFOUR SECURITY APPARATUS IS

LOOKING AT YOUR STUFF BECAUSEYOUR STUFF IS (bleep).

BUT HER (bleep) ISSTUFF.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]THERE WE GO.

JUST GOTTA DROP THAT IN THERETHAT'S ANY TIME I USE THAT I

ALWAYS GOTTA --[LAUGHTER]

-- I MISS YOU.

I MISS YOU.

I MISS YOU.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]C.I.A. DIRECTOR JOHN BRENNAN

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY IN YOURDEFENSE?

>> AS FAR AS THE ALLEGATIONS OF,YOU KNOW, C.I.A. HACKING INTO

SENATE COMPUTERS, NOTHING COULDBE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.

WE WOULDN'T DO THAT I MEANTHAT'S -- THAT'S JUST BEYOND

THE, YOU KNOW, THE SCOPE OFREASON.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Jon: HERE IS MY FAVORITE

PART ABOUT THAT -- I LOVE HOWHURT HE SOUNDS.

[ LAUGHTER ]MOI?

THE C.I.A., CHOIR BOYS INVESTEDIN AMERICA?

SIR, IF I MAY, MAYBE YOU STOLECONGRESS'S COMPUTER FILES, MAYBE

YOU DIDN'T BUT BEYOND THE SCOPEOF REASON?

Y'ALL OVERTHREW IRAN AND CHILE,ORCHESTRATED THE ASSASSINATION

OF FIRST DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTEDPRIME MINISTER OF CONGO.

WIRE TAPPED JOURNALISTS ANDANTI-WAR ACTIVSTS.

CARRIED OUT A MIND EXPERIENCEWITH LSD ON PRISONERS AND THEN

ON TUESDAY -- I GUESS WHAT I'MSAYING YOU ARE BUSY DOING A LOT

OF THINGS BECAUSE MAYBE YOUDIDN'T STEAL THE FILES BECAUSE

YOU WERE BUSY AND THAT'S WHATINTERNS ARE FOR.

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT IF THE C.I.A. WENT PURPOSELYDESTROYING EVIDENCE WHAT

HAPPENED TO THOSE FILES?

>> THE CIA WHEN ASKED WHAT WASGOING ON FIRST DENIED THE

INTERFERENCE AND THEN BLAMED ITON THE IT GUYS.

>> Jon: NERDS.

I KNEW IT.

IT WAS THE IT GUYS.

SURE THE IT GUYS STOLE THEFILES.

BAY OF PIGS, YEAH THAT WAS APROBLEM IN HR.

FAULTY IRAQ INTELLIGENCE(bleep) ACCOUNTING.

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