Back in Black - Campaign Fibs

  • Aired:  07/24/12
  •  | Views: 298,419

Both the Obama and Romney campaigns lie to Lewis Black, but it's fine just so long as they're not misrepresenting Nutella. (5:42)

IS>> Jon: WELCOME BACK TO THE SWHOASM A NEWS STORY FALLS THROUGH THE CRACKS LEWIS BLACK

CATCHES IT FOR A SEGMENT WE CALL "BACK IN BLACK." ♪ ♪

>> THE PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN IS IN FULL SWING AND EVERY DAY BRINGS ANOTHER BLAND STUMP FULL

OF NABMBPAMBY PLATITUDES.

>> IF YOU HAVE A BUSINESS, YOU DIDN'T BUILD THAT.

WE SUCCEED BECAUSE OF OUR INDIVIDUAL INITIATIVES BUT ALSO BECAUSE WE DO THINGS TOGETHER.

>> MOST AMERICANS HEAR THAT AND THEY FALL ASLEEP.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT NOT THE ROMNEY CAMPAIGN.

THEY GOT RIGHT TO WORK MAKING THIS.

>> PEOPLE WHO HAVE WORKED HARD,

STARTED A BUSINESS AND CREATED JOBS CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT PRESIDENT OBAMA IS SAYING ABOUT THEM.

>> IF YOU HAVE A BUSINESS,

THAT -- YOU DIDN'T BUILD THAT.

SOMEBODY ELSE MADE THAT HAPPEN.

>> UNBELIEVABLE.

>> WHAT AN INSULTth I'M OUTRAGED.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE JUST SAID THAT.

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER.

BECAUSE HE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

CAMPAIGNS HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED IN THE 21ST CENTURY.

THEY CAN PRODUCE (bleep) AT THE SAME RATE AS ACTUAL BULLS.

PHYSICAL ROMNEY COULD SLOW DOWN FOR A MINUTE HE WOULD REALIZE HE IS ATTACKING OBAMA FOR SOMETHING

HE AGREES WITH.

>> YOU OLYMPIANS KNOW YOU DIDN'T GET HERE SOLELY ON YOUR OWN POWER.

FOR MOST OF YOU LOVING PARENTS AND SIBLINGS ENCOURAGED YOUR HOPES, COACHES AND OTHERS

ORGANIZED COMPETITIONS.

ALL OLYMPIANS STAND ON THE SHOULDERS OF THOSE WHO LIFTED THEM.

>> TO BE CLEAR, RUNNING A BUSINESS IS SOMETHING YOU DO ALL BY YOURSELF, RUNNING A FOUR

MINUTE MILE, THAT TAKES A VILLAGE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BUT AS LONG AS YOUR AD IS FAST IT DOESN'T MATTER WITH IT'S WRONG.

JUST ASK THIS GUY IN A ROMNEY AD WHO SAID HE BUILT HIS BUSINESS WITHOUT ANY HELP.

>> MY FATHERS HANDS DIDN'T BUILD THIS COMPANY.

MY HANDS DIDN'T BUILD THIS COMPANY.

MY SONS HAND ARE BUILDING THIS COMPANY.

THROUGH HARD WORK AND A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK WE TBHILT BUSINESS.

>> THEY DID IT WITH HARD WORK, A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK AND ALMOST A MILLION BUCKS IN TAX FREE

GOVERNMENT LOANS BUT MOSTLY HARD WORK.

AND ROMNEY IS NOT THE ONLY ONE TREATING THIS CAMPAIGN LIKE A YEAR-LONG OPPOSITE DAY.

OBAMA IS ACCUSING ROMNEY OF DISCRIMINATING AGAINST GAYS WHO WANT TO ADOPT KIDS WHEN WHAT

ROMNEY SAID WAS THIS.

>> IN MY STATE INDIVIDUALS OF THE SAME SEX WERE ABLE TO ADOPT CHILDREN.

IN MY VIEW IT'S SOMETHING WHICH PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO.

>> YOU DON'T NEED TO LIE TO MAKE ROMNEY LOOK ANTI-GAY.

IT'S UNNECESSARY.

IT'S LINE KATY PERRY ADDING FIREWORKS TO HER BREASTS.

WE WERE ALREADY LOOKING AT THEM.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BUT THE ROMNEY CAMPAIGN UNDERSTANDS THAT THE KEY TO ANY GOOD LIE IS SPECIFICITY.

>> WHYWHERE DID THE OBAMA STIMULUS MONEY GO?

ELECTRIC CARS FROM FINLAND.

>> ELECTRIC CARS FROM FINLAND?

I'D SAY THAT YOU CAN'T MAKE THAT (bleep) UP BUT THEY DID IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THE MONEY DIDN'T COME FROM THE STIMULUS.

THE LOAN PROGRAM WAS STARTED BY BUSH AND I IT WASN'T FOR BUILDING ELECTRIC CARS FROM FINLAND.

IT WAS FOR ENGINEERING JOBS IN THE U.S.

BUT THE POINT IS ELECTRIC CARS FROM ENFINLAND AHHHH SOCIALISTS.

IF YOU ARE WATCHING THESE ADS AND WONDERING ARE THEY ALLOWED TO LIE, HERE IS A TIP: YES!

>> WHAT ABOUT ARRESTING.

SHOULD THERE BE A AGGRESSIVE SEEK THEM OUT FIND THEM AND ARREST THEM AS SHERIFF ARREST

PIEO INDICATE?

>> THERE'S A MODEL HERE IN ARIZONA.

>> SINCE PRESIDENT OBAMA TOOK CONTROL IN WASHINGTON EVERY SING

DAY MORE THAN 100,000 JOBS HAVE BEEN LOST.

>> FOR HIS FIRST INTERVIEW AS PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA CHOSE ARAB TV FOR AN APOLOGY.

>> WOW, IT'S ENOUGH TOLL MAKE YOU LOSE FAITH IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY.

IS THERE ANYTHING WE STILL HOLD TO A STANDARD OF TRUTH.

>> THE MAKER OF THE CHOCOLATE HAZELNUT SPREAD NEW TELLA HAS BEEN RUNNING ADS CLAIMING

SPREADING IT ON STOAFT A HEALTHY WAY TO START YOUR KIDS OFF IN THE MORNING.

TODAY THEY BACKTRACKED ON THE ADS ANDEE TOED TO A $3 MILLION SETTLEMENT FOR FALSE CLAIMS.

>> FIRST, NO ONE DESERVES THAT MONEY, BECAUSE ANYBODY WHO BELIEVES THAT MELTED CHOCOLATE

NUT CREAM WAS A HEALTHY WAY TO START THE DAY IS AN IDIOT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND SECOND, AMERICA IS BACK,

BABY!

YOU MAY NOT NEED TO BE HONEST TO BE PRESIDENT BUT IF WE'RE GOING

TO SPREAD YOU ON TOAST, YOU DAMN WELL BETTER BE TELLING THE TRUTH, NUTELLA 2012.

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