Queer Aye for the Straight Guys

  • Aired:  04/08/13
  •  | Views: 32,445

Democrats rush to support gay marriage with the breakneck speed of passengers disembarking a s**t-encrusted cruise ship. (3:31)

LEGEND." NOW ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE MOW JOE TRACK, GAY MARRIAGE CONTINUES TO RACK UP SUPPORTERS

>> THE LATEST DEMOCRATIC SENATOR MARK WARNER.

>> REVERSED HIS-SITUATION TO SAME SEX MARRIAGE

>> NORTH CAROLINA'S KAY HAGAN HEIDI HEITKAMP AND JOE DONNELLY

>> HILLARY CLINTON SENATOR CLAIRE McCASKILL TOM CARPER ONE OF THE LAST REMAINING DEMOCRATS SILENT ON

SAME SEX MARRIAGE HAS JUST ENDORSED IT PUTTING IT UP ON HIS FACE BOOK PAGE

>> Jon: THEY INTERPRETED CARPER'S FACEBOOK PAGE BECAUSE OF THE SIGN OF SUPPORTER.

HE WAS SUPPORTING PAUSE BUTTON AWARENESS.

HE FLIPPED IT.

ALSO AN IMPORTANT ISSUE.

IT MAY SEEM LIKE ALL THE DEMOCRATS ARE RUSHING TO GET ON THE SIDE OF GAY MARRIAGE WITH A

BREAK NECK PACE OF PASSENGERS DISEMBARKING [BLEEP] ENCRUSTED CRUISE SHIP.

WHENEVER A DEMOCRAT TALKS ABOUT A CHANGE OF HEART THEY TEND TO PUT IT ON A MORE EPIC TIME SCALE

>> WITH RESPECT TO THE ISSUE OF WHETHER GAYS AND LESBIANS SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET MARRIED, MY

FEELINGS ABOUT THIS ARE CONSTANTLY EVOLVING

>> TIM JOHNSON SAYS HE BACKS SAME SEX MARRIAGE

>> MARK WARNER OF VIRGINIA WHO SAYS HIS VIEWS HAVE EVOLVED

>> Jon: THEY'RE REFERRING TO CHARLES DARWIN'S THEORY OF GAY EVOLUTION.

IT'S WHAT LED ULTIMATELY TO DARWIN'S GROUND-BREAKING EVOLUTION OF GAY MARRIAGE ACCEPTANCE CHART.

THAT'S ILLEGAL.

GOD HATES YOU.

GOD HATES YOU BUT WILL AND GRACE IS ENTERTAINING.

HOW ABOUT A CIVIL UNION?

CONGRATULATIONS, MR. AND MR.

MR. SMITH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OBVIOUSLY THOSE ARE DEMOCRATS.

YOU CANNOT ASK REPUBLICANS TO EMBRACE BOTH GAY MARRIAGE AND EVOLUTION IN ONE GO.

INTERESTING FACT.

MORE AMERICANS NOW SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE THAN BELIEVE IN EVOLUTION.

SO WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR REPUBLICANS TO CHANGE THEIR MIND?

>> REPUBLICAN SENATOR MARK KIRK OF ILLINOIS SAYS HE NOW SUPPORTS SAME SEX MARRIAGE SAYING, QUOTE,

OUR TIME ON THIS EARTH IS LIMITED.

I KNOW THAT BETTER THAN MOST.

>> SENATOR KIRK REFERRING TO HIS AMAZING RECOVERY FROM A STROKE.

>> Jon: IT WOULD TAKE A CATASTROPHIC BRAIN INJURY.

IS THERE A GENTLER MEANS OF PERSUASION THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE CEREBRAL CLOTTING

>> PORTMAN LEARNS HIS SON IS GAY.

>> Jon: SENATOR PORTMAN LEARNED HIS OTHER SON DEREK IS FEMALE.

NOW SENATOR PORTMAN SUPPORTS EQUAL PAY FOR WOMEN.

OF COURSE, HAVING A FAMILY MEMBER WHO IS GAY IS NOT GOING TO WORK ON EVERYBODY.

>> ARIZONA CONGRESSMAN MATT SALMON SAID THE FACT THAT HIS SON IS GAY DOES NOT CHANGE HIS

VIEW OF SAME SEX MARRIAGE

>> I DON'T SUPPORT THE GAY MARRIAGE AS FAR AS BELIEVING IN MY HEART THAT WE SHOULD CHANGE

2,000 YEARS OF SOCIAL POLICY IN FAVOR OF A REDEFINITION OF THE FAMILY.

I'M NOT THERE.

>> Jon: HE CERTAINLY EARNED THE MUG THAT HE GOT THIS YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS.

YES, REPRESENTATIVE SALMON BELIEVES MEN AND WOMEN SHOULD REPRODUCE AS GENERATIONS OF HIS

PEOPLE HAVE THROUGHOUT HISTORY, BY SWIMMING HUNDREDS OF MILES UPSTREAM, SPRAYING THEIR SPERM

INTO ICE COLD WATER, FLIPPING OVER AND DYING AS GOD

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