Victory Lapse

  • Aired:  05/01/12
  •  | Views: 16,085

On the anniversary of Osama bin Laden's death, Republicans are unaware that the frontal lobe of the cerebral cortex allows people the ability to store and recall past events. (4:31)

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COMEDY CENTRAL

( THEME SONG PLAYING )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stewart: WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

>> GET READY FOR TONIGHT, OUR GUEST TONIGHT IS GOING TO COME OUT.

TJ AS I CALL HIM.

HE AND I WON'T THE SAME SCHOOL.

BUT NOT AT THE SAME TIME.

MANY OF YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW THIS.

TODAY IS A SPECIAL DAY.

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE DEATH OF OSAMA BIN LADEN, JUST 12 MONTHS AGO PARENTS ACROSS THE

COUNTRY SUDDENLY EXPLAINED TO THEIR CHILDREN WHY THEY JUST SHOUTED AT THE TV.

>> YEAH! OH!, OH, YEAH!

>> BIN LADEN -- ONE YEAR LATER,

THIS AD TOUTING OBAMA'S PRESIDENTIAL LEADERSHIP DURING THE RACE WHILE SUBTLY

QUESTIONING HIS OPPONENT'S JUDGMENT.

THAT AD IS --

>> THIS ADMINISTRATION IS NOT ABOVE POLITICAL SIZING ANY ISSUE

FOR PERSONAL GAIN, POLITICIZING WHAT -- AN EVENT THAT ALL AMERICANS AM LAWED ENORMOUSLY,

IT IS DEPLORABLE TO POLITICIZE THIS.

>> THE PRESIDENT IS GOING TO SPIKE THE FOOTBALL AND ALL OF

THIS, WE SHOULDN'T GLOAT ABOUT IT.

>> RUNNING CAMPAIGN ADS GLOATING ABOUT IT.

>> WAAH!

>> WAAH!

>> SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

REPUBLICANS, YOU ARE ANNOYED BY THE ARROGANCE AND BRAGGADOCIO OF A WARTIME PRESIDENT POLITICAL

HAT, YOU THINK HE IS DIVISIVELY AND UNFAIRLY BELITTLING HIS OPPONENT.

I SEE.

HAVE A QUESTION.

ARE YOU ON CRACK? WERE YOU ALIVE LO THESE PAST TEN YEARS? IT SEEMS UNSEEMLY FOR THE

PRESIDENT TO SPIKE THE FOOTBALL.

BUSH LANDED ON A (BLEEP) AIRCRAFT CARRIER WITH A FOOTBALL STUFFED PIECE, HE SPIKED THE

FOOTBALL BEFORE THE GAME HAD EVEN STARTED!

>> YET YOUR REPUBLICAN OUTRAGE --

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> Stewart: YOU ARE CALLING OUTRAGEOUS THE SUBJECT OF OUR NEW SEGMENT, YOU ARE AWARE THAT

THE FRONTAL LOBE OF THE KOR TEXT ALLOWS US TO CELEBRATE THESE THINGS AS THEY OCCUR, RIGHT?

>> FORMER BUSH ADVISOR AND CURRENT ROM ROM ADVISOR ED GILLESPIE.

>> IT WAS A UNIFYING EVENT FOR ALL AMERICANS AND HE HAS MANAGED TO TURN IT INTO A DIVISIVE,

PARTISAN, POLITICAL ATTACK.

>> Stewart: YEAH, THAT WOULD BE LIKE IN 2004 SAYING SOMETHING LIKE, IF KERRY HAD HIS POLICIES

IN PLACE TODAY IS A SADDAM HUSSEIN WOULD NOT ONLY BE IN BAGHDAD BUT HE WOULD BE IN CURATE.

>> , KUWAIT.

>> HE WOULD NOT ONLY BE IN BAGHDAD, BUT KUWAIT.

>> OH, MY GOSH.

>> BLURRY ED GILLESPIE IS DIVISIVE AND PARTISAN.

>> BY THE WAY, BLURRY GILLESPIE ALSO THE NAME OF A LESS THAN HERALDED TRUMPET PLAYER.

>> NOBODY EVER BOOKED BLURRY,

JUST DIZZY.

>> THERE IS MORE.

>> THE ATTACK ROM ROM WOULDN'T HAVE DONE.

>> YOU SEE IN THE BUSH AD SAYING, YOU KNOW, HE IS A STRONG

LEADER, YOU DON'T SEE HIM SAYING AND THAT GUY, YOU KNOW, WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

>> YEAH, YEAH, THE DEMOCRATS HAVE USED HIM TO PROJECT HOW A HYPOTHETICAL PRESIDENT ROMNEY

WOULD ACT.

AND IT IS SO DEVIOUS OF DEMOCRATS TO STEAL THAT TACTIC.

>> THE CEREBRAL CORTEX, BACK FAKE.

>> NOW WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE PLACE WHERE TERRORISTS ARE A.

>> HOW CAN ROMNEY PROTECT US WHEN HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE THREAT.

>> THIS IS PRESIDENT OBAMA AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.

>> NO, NO, YOU DON'T APPROVE OF THE THAT MESSAGE.

YOU THINK IT IS DI

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