The Old Man and the Cell

  • Aired:  05/15/14
  •  | Views: 85,639

With midterm elections right around the corner, aging incumbents seem impervious to anything that might force them out of office. (4:11)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> Jon: WELCOME BACK!

THE MIDTERM ELECTIONS, MIDTERMELECTIONS RIGHT AROUND THE

CORNER, CONGRESS'S APPROVALRATING IS IN THE TWEENS.

IT'S TIME ONCE AGAIN TO RAISE ACRY OF "THROW THE BUMS OUT."

AND THEN RE-ELECT 90% OF SAIDBUMS.

HOW DO THESE GUYS KEEP GETTINGRE-ELECTED TERM AFTER TERM?

WELL, LET'S TAKE THE EXAMPLE OFNEW YORK CONGRESSMAN CHARLIE

RANGEL, 83 YEARS OLD AND 43YEARS IN OFFICE, CENSURED

BY CONGRESS IN 2010 AFTER APHOTO OF HIM ASLEEP IN FRONT

OF HIS DOMINICAN VILLA ON WHICHHE FAILED TO PAY TAXES BECAME

THE SYMBOL OF HIS EXTENSIVEFINANCIAL MALFEASANCE.

HERE'S HOW CONFIDENT HE WAS INBEING RELECTED ANYWAY.

HE USED THAT PHOTO AS HISCAMPAIGN POSTER.

THAT'S WHAT HE DID. HE DOESN'TCARE. THIS YEAR CHARLIE RANGEL

IS LOCKED IN A TIGHT PRIMARYCAMPAIGN AGAINST STATE SENATOR

ADRIANO ESPAILLAT ANDREVEREND MICHAEL WALROND WHO ARE

DETERMINED TO TAKE THIS GUY DOWNIN A MAJOR DEBATE LAST NIGHT.

WHAT COULD RANGEL DO TOCOME OUT A WINNER?

CHECK YOUR POCKETS MACGYVER,

BECAUSE THE CLOCK ISTICKING AND HE'S GOT TO COME

UP WITH SOMETHING.

>> I UNDERSTAND I ONLY HAVETHREE MINUTES AND, JUST ONE

MINUTE(ANSWERS BLACKBERY)

NO I'M THE IN THE MIDDLE OF ADEBATE.

YES, NO IT'S FOR UNITEDSTATES CONGRESS.

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

FIRST OF ALL, THAT WAS QUITE THEMYSTERY RING ON HIS PHONE.

EITHER HE HAD TO TAKE A VERYIMPORTANT CALL FROM HIS

UROLOGIST DURING THE DEBATEOR HE'S ABOUT TO LAUNCH INTO A

BIT.

YES, IN THE GREATEST DEBATETACTIC SINCE LINCOLN ASKED

DOUGLAS, "WHOREMONGER SAYSWHAT?"

CHARLIE RANGEL DID HIS ENTIREOPENING STATEMENT IN THE FORM OF

A GAG PHONE CALL WITH SOMEONEWHO JUST HAPPENED TO WANT TO

KNOW REALLY TERRIBLE THINGSABOUT THE TWO OTHER

CANDIDATES SITTING NEXT TO HIM.

>> NO, NO, NO, HE'S BEEN HERE 18YEARS BUT HE DIDN'T SAY HE

PASSED ANY BILLS AT ALL.

WELL THE GUY WAS ONLY THERE HALFOF THE TIME.

(RANGEL ON PHONE)LISTEN, HOW CAN HE REGISTER TO

VOTE IN NEW YORK WHENHE LIVES IN JERSEY?

>> Jon: NO, I'M AS CONFUSEDABOUT IT AS YOU ARE, PERSON I

MADE UP!

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK THIS IS HOW CHARLIERANGEL STAYS IN OFFICE SO LONG.

YES, HE'S CORRUPT BUT HE'S VERYLIKABLE.

I MEAN, HE FIGUREDOUT HOW TO BE A TOTAL

DICK TO THE GUYS SITTING RIGHT

NEXT TO HIM, WITHOUT HAVING TOHAVE ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR SAID

DICKISHNESS.

>> THEY LOVE HIM AT THE, HE'SVERY ACTIVE AT THE NATIONAL

ACTION NETWORK AND THEY LIKEHIM.

THEY HAVEN'T ENDORSED HIM, OFCOURSE NOT.

>> WHY DIDN'T THEY ENDORSEHIM? I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE HE

KILLED SOMEONE. THAT I KNOW OF.I MEAN, EVEN IF HE HAD

I'M SURE HE WOULD DISPOSE THEBODY IN A TRADITIONAL --

CANNIBALISM? NO. I DON'T THINKSO. WHAT -- I DON'T KNOW.

NO WONDER HE'S STILL INCONGRESS.

IN FACT, THERE MAY BE NO WAY ATALL TO GET THESE

AGING INCUMBENTS OUT OF OFFICE.

>> CONGRESSMAN JOHN CONYERSEXPECTED TO RUN FOR HIS 26TH

TERM IN NOVEMBER IS BEING KEPTOFF THE BALLOT IN THE PRIMARY

BECAUSE OF INVALID SIGNATURES ONA PETITION.

>> Jon: WOW, SO WITHOUT TERMLIMITS, WE JUST HAVE TO WAIT

UNTIL CONGRESS PEOPLE GET SO OLDTHEYLOSE SIGNATURES LIKE KEYS.

HOW DOES THE CONSTITUTION EVENALLOW FOR THIS TYPE OF

ENTRENCHED INCUMBENCY?

RING, RING.

HELLO?

WHAT'S THAT?

FOUNDING FATHER JAMES MADISON!

WHAT?

YOU NEVER INTENDED FOR ANYONE TOSERVE THAT LONG IN CONGRESS?

WELL, OH, WHEN YOU WERE DRAFTINGTHE CONSTITUTION, LIFE EXPECTY

WAS 48.

I SEE.

AND HOW ARE YOU CALLING ME FROMBEYOND THE -- REALLY?

HEAVEN IS FOR REAL!

AND IT'S ALL JUST (BLEEP).

ALRIGHT. WELL,

YEAH.

NO, HE DIDN'T MENTION THAT.

SEPARATE SECTION.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S NICE.

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