Don't Mess with Taxes

  • Aired:  08/06/13
  •  | Views: 40,489

The United States tax code hasn't been addressed in any significant way since the days when Boy George could guest star on "The A-Team." (3:42)

>> John: WELCOME TO THE DAILY

SHOW.

MY NAME IS JOHN OLIVER.

JON STEWART STILL NOT HERE IN A

HUGE DEAL.

HE'S ACTUALLY BEING TAKEN OVER

BY AMAZON CEO JEFF BEZOS.

SUCH A SHAME.

JON STEWART PROUDLY OWNED

HIMSELF FOR 50 YEARS.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT FROM THE NEW

FILM "PARANOIA" LIAM HEMSWORTH

IS HERE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

BUT WE START TONIGHT WITH A

SUBJECT EVERYBODY LOVES: TAXES.

WHO IN AMERICA DOESN'T GROW UP

EXCITEDLY LEAVING A BOX OF YOUR

OLD RECEIPTS AT THE FOOT OF YOUR

BED ON APRIL 15 EVE HOPING THAT

IF YOU'VE BEEN GOOD AN

ACCOUNTANT FROM THE NORTH POLE

WILL SHOW UP ON HIS MAGIC SLEIGH

AND REWARD YOU WITH A

SURPRISINGLY LARGE INVOICE FROM

THE GOVERNMENT?

BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT OUR TAX

SYSTEM IS SOMEHOW NOT

UNIVERSALLY BELOVED?

>> WE NEED TO OVERHAUL OUR TAX

CODE.

>> THE TAX CODE IS BROKEN.

IT'S NOT FAIR.

>> IT IS INEFFICIENT.

OUR TAX CODE IS ONE OF THE

WORST IN THE WORLD.

>> SIMPLIFY THE TAX CODE.

WE NEED TO CHANGE OUR TAX

CODE.

>> John: WHOA, WATCH YOUR MOUTH.

YOU CAN'T JUST TALK TO CODES

LIKE THAT.

THEY'RE VERY SENSITIVE.

THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF

CRITICISM THAT DROVE THE MORSE

CODE TO SUICIDE.

FOR ALL OF YOU MORSE CODE FANS.

YES, LOOK, WE ALL THINK THE TAX

CODE NEEDS PRUNING EVERY NOW AND

AGAIN.

THAT IS WHY WE DO IT, I IMAGINE,

EVERY THREE TO FIVE YEARS.

>> OUR TAX CODE HASN'T BEEN

REFORMED SINCE 1986.

THAT'S 27 YEARS.

>> WOW.

TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE, THE

TAX REFORM ACT OF 1986 HAPPENED

THE SAME YEAR THAT THIS WAS

HAPPENING.

>> I'M COW BOY GEORGE.

AND I'M BOY GEORGE.

PICK YOUR PICK.

CHOOSE YOUR PICK.

BE THERE, BY GEORGE.

John: WE HAVEN'T ADDRESSED

THIS FUNDAMENTAL ECONOMIC ISSUE

IN ANY SIGNIFICANT WAY SINCE THE

WAY WHEN BOY GEORGE COULD GUEST

STAR ON THE A-TEAM.

BY THE WAY YOU COULDN'T GET ANY

MORE 1980s THAN THAT IF A

RUBIC'S CUBE MADE LOVE TO A

NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM

AND GAVE BIRTH TO A V.H.S. COPY

OF FLASH DANCE THEN THAT COPY OF

FLASH DANCE WAS RAISED BY THREE

MEN: RIGHT?

WHILE WE HAVEN'T REFORMED THE

TAX CODE SINCE 1986 WE'VE

CERTAINLY ADDED LOTS OF NEW

PROVISIONS AND LOOPHOLES TO IT.

IT'S LIKE IMAGINE YOU HAVE THE

SAME REFRIGERATOR FOR THE LAST

27 YEARS.

YOU HAVEN'T CLEANED IT IN ALL OF

THAT TIME.

BUT YOU KEEP PUTTING FOOD IN

THERE.

AND NOW THE THING SMELLS SO BAD

YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO TOUCH IT.

THAT IS AMERICA'S CURRENT TAX

CODE.

AN OLD REFRIGERATOR FULL OF

ROTTEN FOOD.

NOW, OVER THE YEARS,

CORPORATIONS AND OTHER SPECIAL

INTERESTS HAVE MADE A LOT OF

MONEY FROM THIS BROKEN

REFRIGERATOR, EXPLOITING

FEATURES FROM THE INTEREST

DEDUCTION THAT ALLOWS HEDGE FUND

MANAGERS THE PAY ONLY 20% ON

THEIR EARNINGS TO THE DRILLING

COST DEDUCTION THAT LETS OIL

COMPANY WRITE OFF THE EXTRA COST

OF BUSINESS TO THE -- AND THIS

IS TRUE -- CHICKEN POOP CREDIT.

THAT'S REAL.

I'M SERIOUS.

UNDER SECTION 45 OF THE TAX

CODE, YOU CAN GET A TAX BREAK

FOR BURNING CHICKEN POOP.

WHICH IS CLEARLY INSANE.

YOU SHOULDN'T BE PAID TO BURN

CHICKEN POOP.

YOU SHOULD

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