Back in Black - Indoctrinating America's Children

  • Aired:  10/25/11
  •  | Views: 176,908

Lewis Black considers Occupy Wall Street's family sleepover, Mike Huckabee's kids' time-travel show and "Sesame Street"'s starving puppets. (4:05)

THIS IS A SEGMENT WE CALL BACK

IN BLACK.

♪ ♪

>> EVERYTHING WE DO THESE DAYS

IS IDEA LOCKIC CALL AND IT'S

KILLING US.

BUT OUR INNOCENT CHILDREN HAVE

FRESH EYES AND NEW PERSPECTIVE,

WHICH IS WHY WE HAVE TO DO

EVERYTHING WE CAN TO

ENDOCTRINATE THEM NOW OTHERWISE

THEY'LL SOLVE ALL THE PROBLEMS

WE COULDN'T AND MAKE US LOOK

LIKE JERKOFFS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THE PARENTS THAT OCCUPY WALL

STREET HAD THE RIGHT IDEA WHEN

THEY ORGANIZED THE FAMILY

SLEEPOVER AT ZUCCOTI PARK LAST

WEEKEND.

[INAUDIBLE]

WELL SWEETHEART TRY TO PUT YOUR

FEELINGS IN THE JOY OF GIVING.

THE OTHER PART IS THE CONTACT

HIGH.

NOW MOVE AWAY FROM THE DRUM

CIRCLE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT WHY EVEN GO OUTSIDE?

THE REAL PROS FIGURED OUT THAT

THE BEST PLACE TO ENDOCTRINATE

CHILDREN IS WHERE THEY LIVE,

THREE FEET IN FRONT OF

TELEVISION.

>> THE RETOURATION MUST BEGIN

WITH US TEACHING IT TO OUR YOUTH

THAT IS WHY WE CREATED THE

LIBERTY TREEHOUSE, A PROGRAM FOR

YOU AND YOUR KIDS.

AND YOU WILL FIND IT ONLY HERE

BEGINNING NEXT MONDAY AT 4:00

P.M.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> I'LL HAVE TO REMEMBER TO SET

MY DVR TO EXPLODE!

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT THANKFULLY THAT SCHUK ISN'T

YOUR ONLY OPTION FOR

CONSERVATIVE ENDOCTRINATION,

THERE'S MIKE HUCKABEE'S TIME

TRAVEL ACADEMY WHEN KID GOES

BACK TO A TIME WHEN ANIMATION

WAS CRAFTY.

NO.

>> WHO DO -- WOULD DO SOMETHING

LIKE THAT?

>> WELL AN EXTREME RELIGIOUS

GROUP WITH NO SENSE OF HISTORY

TRYING TO FORCE ITS AGENDA ON TO

AN UNSPGHT -- YOU MEANT WHO WAS

FLYING THE PLANES?

THAT WAS AL QAEDA.

AND BY THE WAY, YOU YOU'VE GOT A

TIME MACHINE AND YOU SET IT FOR

9/11?

WHY DIDN'T YOU GO TO 9/10 AND

GIVE US THE HEADS UP FOR CHRIST

SAKE?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO USING

TELEVISION TO ENDOCTRINATE

CHILDREN, YOU HAVE TO LOVE THE

CLASSICS.

LIKE SESAME STREET WHICH FOR

DECADES HAS TAUGHT KIDS THAT IT

DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU LIVE NEXT

DOOR TO A BIRD, A HOBO IN A

TRASH CASH OR AUTISTIC VAMPIRE

THEY ARE ALL PART OF ONE BIG

HAPPY MULTICULTURAL FREAK FEST!

JUST LAST WEEK SESAME STREET

INTRODUCED THE NEW CHARACTER,

LILY, AN ADORABLE, FUN-LOVING

LITTLE GIRL WHO HAS NOD IDEA

WHERE HER NEXT MEAL IS COMING

FROM.

>> THERE'S SO MANY PEOPLE

WITHOUT FOOD.

>> WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN NOAH

BLAUSTEIN WHETHER YOU ARE GOING

TO HAVE A NEXT MEAL OR NOT.

THAT HAS BEEN PRETTY HARD.

>> THAT SEGMENT WAS BROUGHT TO

YOU BY THE LEGAL G, AS IN JESUS

CHRIST, WHAT WAS THE HELL WAS

THAT?

[ LAUGHTER ]

I JUST WANTED MY KID TO SIT

STILL FOR A MINUTE WHILE I

FOLDED LAUNDRY, NOW I HAVE TO

EXPLAIN STARVATION!

SNRKS.

IF A FOOT SHORTAGE IS YOUR

PROBLEM GET RIDCwa OF THIS GUY.

WHAT AN (bleep).

[ LAUGHTER ]

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