Dude, Where's My War?

  • Aired:  09/16/13
  •  | Views: 61,814

Pundits argue that the successful use of diplomacy in Syria is the worst defeat in American history. (4:28)

(LAUGHTER)LINDSEY GRAHAM ISN'T ALONE

IN FEELING THAT THISSUCCESSFUL USE OF DIPLOMACY

TO ACHIEVE OUR GOAL IS THEWORST DEFEAT IN AMERICAN

HISTORY.

>> I JUST DON'T SEE HOW THISIS A GOOD OUTCOME FOR

ANYBODY.

>> I THINK IT'S A LOSER.

>> IT ENDS UP BEING AHANDOFF TO VLADIMIR PUTIN.

I HAVE NEVER SEEN A FIASCOLIKE THIS FROM A U.S.

PRESIDENT.

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: WHAT AM I MISSING?

>> WE MIGHT CONTAIN ADICTATOR'S CHEMICAL WEAPONS

STOCKPILE WITHOUT HAVING TOKILL INNOCENT CIVILIANS IN

THE PROCESS OR INVADING ACOUNTRY AND

CREATING-- THERE'S ONLY TWOEXPLANATIONS FOR HOW THIS

FELLA THERE HAS NEVER

SEEN A FIASCO LIKE THIS FROMA U.S. PRESIDENT, A, HE'S

ONLY SIX MONTHS OLD.

HE'S ONE OF THOSE BENJAMINBUTTON TYPE DUDES. I'VE NEVER

SEENANYTHING LIKE THIS BECAUSE

I'M A BABY.

OR B, YOU WORKED FOR REAGAN.

NEVER SEEN A FIASCO LIKETHIS.

>> IRAN CONTRA.

OR B HE DOESN'T UNDERSTANDWHAT THE WORD FIASCO MEANS,

WHAT?

A THREE SOME WITH HOT GIRLSRIGHT NOW.

BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO GOCOLLECT MY LOTTERY WINNINGS.

WHAT A FIASCO.

(LAUGHTER)ARE THOSE GIRLS STOCK

FOOTAGE, LISTEN TO ME.

THE ONLY THING-- ONLY HAD TOCHANGE ONE LETTER.

THE ONLY THING THAT THEYLIKE LESS THAN THAT WE'RE

NOT BOMBING NOW IS THAT WEMIGHT NOT BOMB.

>> IT APPEARS THAT THETHREAT OF FORCE HAS BEEN

TAKEN OFF THE TABLE.

>> I THINK THAT IT DOES TAKETHE USE OF AMERICAN FORCE

PRETTY MUCH OFF THE TABLE.

>> I THINK THE ARMEDRESPONSE REALLY IS OFF THE

TABLE.

>> IT'S NOT OFF THE TABLE.

THE ARMED RESPONSE IS NEVEROFF THE TABLE.

>> Jon: WHO BELIEVES THEARMED RESPONSE IS OFF THE

TABLE.

THIS IS AMERICA.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE TABLE?

(LAUGHTER)BUT LOOK, THOSE ARE THE

PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WANTEDTO BOMB SYRIA AND WERE

SOMEWHAT DISAPPOINTED.

WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHYSOME OF THE PEOPLE WHO

DIDN'T WANT TO BOMB SYRIAARE NOW ALSO UPSET WE'RE

NOT BOMBING SYRIA.

>> RIGHT NOW OBAMA ISFORTUNATELY NOT FIGHTING IN

SYRIA BECAUSE WE DON'T WANTTO DO THAT, BUT OBAMA IS

GIVING UP A VERY BIGLEADERSHIP ROLE.

>> THE GOOD NEWS IS WE'RETALKING TO THE RUSSIANS

INSTEAD OF BOMBING THESYRIANS.

BUT SOME OF THE RHETORIC HASBEEN ALMOST LAUGHABLE.

>> I WOULD VOTE AGAINST ANAUTHORIZATION TO USE FORCE

HERE.

>> THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHENTHE PRESIDENT PUTS HIMSELF

IN A SITUATION HE HAS NOTTHOUGHT THROUGH WHEN HE

FLIP-FLOPS, HE DITHERS.

HE MOVES BACK AND FORTH, HESHOWS WEAKNESS AND

INDECISIVENESS.

>> YOU WOULD NEVER CATCHGEORGE W. BUSH DITHERING.

(LAUGHTER)YOU NEVER CATCH GEORGE W.

BUSH DITHERING INTO ANON CONFRONTATION.

(APPLAUSE)YOU KNOW?

THESE GUYS PREFER BUSH,INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY IS

LIKE A GLORY HOLE.

YOU JUST STICK IT IN ANDWORRY ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES

LATER.

(LAUGHTER)SORRY, I WAS RAISED AT A NEW

JERSEY REST AREA.

DO THE HAWKS HAVE ANY OTHERCOMPLAINTS ABOUT OUR

POSSIBLE PEACEFUL RESOLUTIONON THE ISSUE OF CHEMICAL

WEAPONS?

>> THE MIXED MESSAGE AND THEDEBACLE CALLED SYRIA CAN'T

BE REPEATED WHEN IT COMETO IRAN.

>> Jon: DON'T YOU DARE TRYTO NOT BOMB IRAN.

OBAMA!

GOT TO GIVE LINDSEY GRAHAMCREDIT FOR THAT ONE THERE.

AT LEAST HE SAID HIS POINTWITHOUT RAISING THE SOUNDS

OF LIKE A 19th CENTURYSOUTHERN BELLE.

>> I REALLY WORRY ABOUTWHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN

IRAN.

NOW THE AYATOLLAHS IN IRANWOULD BE DANCING AND THE ONLY

REASON THEY'RE NOT DANCINGIS BECAUSE THEY JUST DON'T

BELIEVE IN DANCING.

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: AND I SAY TO YOU,

GOOD SIR, YOU CAN'T TRUST AGENTLEMAN WHO DOESN'T ENJOY

TAKING TO THE FLOOR.

(LAUGHTER)FOR A STATELY QUADRIL.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

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