Indecision 2012 - Michele Bachmann Fever & Rick Perry's America

  • Aired:  08/16/11
  •  | Views: 75,418

Americans can settle in for a lengthy media overfeeding at the trough of Michele Bachmann, and Rick Perry is cowboy boot-deep in hay, hitting on America. (4:00)

>> Jon: HEY, WELCOME TO "THE

DAILY SHOW."

MY NAME IS JON STEWART, GREAT

SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT!

WE GOT A GREAT GUEST TONIGHT,

OUR GUEST TONIGHT, MATT LONG,

NEW YORK CITY FIREFIGHTER WHO

HAS COMPETED IN TRIATHLONS.

OH, I GUESS THAT DOESN'T SOUND

THAT IMPRESSIVE UNTIL YOU

REALIZE HE'S DONE IT AFTER BEING

HIT BY A BUS.

(LAUGHTER)

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

HE HAS A BOOK ABOUT IT.

VERY EXCITING.

IT'S BEEN A LONG SUMMER SO

TONIGHT A LITTLE CHANGE OF PACE.

WE'RE GOING TO COVER POLITICS.

(LAUGHTER)

IN THE WAKE OF HER SATURDAY ALL

OR NOT IMPORTANT LESS THAN 200

VOTE VICTORY OVER CONGRESSMAN

RON PAUL IN THE AMES, IOWA,

STRAW POLL, MICHELE BACHMANN'S

STAR SHONE BRIGHTLY WITH THE

APPEARANCES ON THE FIVE SUNDAY

TALK SHOW.

THIS WEEK, "FACE THE NATION,"

"MEET THE PRESS," "THE FOX NEWS

SUNDAY" "STATE OF THE UNION" SHE

WENT ON ESPN SUNDAY NIGHT

BASEBALL, "REAL HOUSEWIVES OF

NEW JERSEY" AND INTO THE NIGHT

BY ATTEMPTING TO BUST PHINEAS

AND FERB.

SHE WAS EVERYWHERE!

CLEARLY THE MEDIA IS SMITTEN.

BACHMANN FEVER, WE CAN SET UNTIL

FOR A LENGTHY MEDIA OVERFEEDING

AT THE TROUGH OF BACHMANN.

>> TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY OFF

AND RUNNING IN THE REPUBLICAN

PRESIDENTIAL RACE.

>> THE TEXAS GOVERNOR COMES OUT

PUNCHING AGAINST THE PRESIDENT.

>> THE TEXAS GOVERNOR RICK PERRY

HAS HIT THE GROUND RUNNING.

>> RICK PERRY COMING OUT FIRING

ALL GUNS.

>> WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'LL FIND

OUT WHAT MINNESOTA CONGRESSMAN

MICHELE BACHMANN THINKS ABOUT

RICK PERRY!

HE'S NEW NEW!

WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM BEFORE.

THE MEDIA REALLY IS THE DOG IN

"UP."

BALL!

(LAUGHTER)

SQUIRREL!

SQUIRREL!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN SEVEN HOURS,

I'M TIRED OF MICHELE BACHMANN.

SQUIRREL!

(LAUGHTER)

ANYWAY, AS THE MEDIA SAID, RICK

PERRY HAS HIT THE GROUND RUNNING

AND WAS FIRING ALL GUNS OR, TO

PUT THAT SLIGHTLY MORE FACTUALLY

CAMPAIGNING AROUND IOWA IN A

BUS.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS BEEN

DOWNGRADING AMERICAN JOBS, HE'S

BEEN DOWNGRADING OUR STANDING IN

THE WORLD.

HE'S GOING TO TALK ABOUT JOBS,

BUT I THINK THE ONLY JOB HE

CARES ABOUT IS THE ONE HE'S GOT.

I THINK YOU WANT A PRESIDENT

THAT IS PASSIONATE ABOUT

AMERICA.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THAT'S IN LOVE WITH AMERICA.

>> Jon: YOU WANT A PRESIDENT

THAT'S IN LOVE WITH AMERICA.

YOU WANT A PRESIDENT WHO WOULD

IN A RAINSTORM GRAB AMERICA'S

HAND AND...

(LAUGHTER)

... TAKE SHELTER WITH AMERICA IN

A NEARBY BARN, MAYBE HELP

AMERICA OUT OF ITS WET CLOTHES,

MAYBE LAY AMERICA DOWN ON SOME

HAY BAILS AND THEN AS AMERICA

AND RICK PERRY BECOME ONE, THE

SOUNDS OF THEIR LOVE MAKING

MERGING WITH THE THUNDERSTORMS A

CALFNY, THE BARN SHUTTERS

RATTLING, THE LIVESTOCK THEY

WANT TO LOOK AWAY BUT THEY

CAN'T.

THEIR EYES ARE TRANSFIXED.

I AM RICK PERRY AND UNLIKE

BARACK OBAMA, I WILL (BLEEP) THE

(BLEEP) OUT OF AMERICA!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

OH, AMERICA!

OOH!

OH, LORD, AMERICA!

OH!

AMERICA, YOU GOT A PRETTY MOUTH!

I LOVE YOUR MOUTH, AMERICA!

(LAUGHTER)

THAT WAS AWKWARD.

ANYWAY, WHAT ARE WE TALKING

ABOUT?

RIGHT, RIGHT.

GOVERNOR, IT'S DAY TWO AND

YOU'RE ALREADY COWBOY BOOT DEEP

IN HAY HITTING ON AMERICA.

IT'S LONG CAMPAIGN, MAN, YOU'RE

GOING TO HAVE TO DIAL BACKBACK

THE TEXAS A NOTCH.

YOU'RE ALREADY AT YOSEMITE SAM

LEVEL.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU'VE GOT TO DIAL IT BACK TO

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