Mob Swap

  • Aired:  09/30/10
  •  | Views: 146,335

Mario Lopez and Kitty Dukakis host a new show where two continents trade lunatics and learn something about entitlement culture and the limits of laissez-faire capitalism. (4:10)

>> Jon: WELCOME DALE DAY.

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

A YOUNG MAN NAMED JUSTIN

TIMBERLAKE WILL BE JOINING US.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THE HEIR TO THE TIMBERLAKE

HIKING BOOT FORTUNE.

[LAUGHTER]

NOT THE GUY YOU WERE THINKING

OF.

[LAUGHTER]

THE GUY JUST OWNS A BOOT STORE.

[LAUGHTER]

JUST WANTED TO TALK TO HIM.

[LAUGHTER]

BEFORE WE BEGIN TONIGHT I'D LIKE

TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT EUROPE.

WHERE THE EFFECTS OF NEW AUS

TERITY MEASURES IN DEFICIT

RIDDEN EU COUNTRIES ARE

BEGINNING TO BE FELT.

>> WORKERS STAGED STRIKES

PROTESTING AGAINST GOVERNMENT

CUTBACKS.

DEMONSTRATIONS IN 12 COUNTRIES.

>> POLAND, GREECE, PORTUGAL,

IRELAND AND SPAIN.

>> MORE THAN 100,000 PROTESTERS

ON BRUSSELS.

>> Jon: 100,000 PEOPLE --

100,000 BELLANS?

I -- BELGIANS.

I DID NOT THOUGH THIS BELGIUM

HAD THAT MANY BELGIANS.

I HOPE THE BELGIAN POLICE CAME

PREPARED.

OH, THEY DID.

OKAY THAT'S -- OKAY.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S RIGHT BELGIUM.

THAT'S A WAFFLE JOKE BELGIUM.

[LAUGHTER]

WHY DID I HIT YOU WITH A WAFFLE

JOKE BECAUSE WE REALLY DON'T

KNOW ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

SERIOUSLY.

WE WENT OVER THIS ALL MORNING,

NAME ONE OTHER THING I'M

SUPPOSED TO MAKE A BELGIAN JOKE

ABOUT.

THE ONLY THING THAT CAME TO MIND

WAS YOU WERE THE NAZIS HIGHWAY

TO FRANCE BUT THAT WON'T BE FAIR

TO -- BANG, BANG, BANG!

NAILED IT WITH ANOTHER WAFFLE

JOKE.

BELGIAN JOKE DOUBLE DOWN, BANG!

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT

IT BELGIUM?

CALL ME WHEN YOU GET YOUR OWN

LANGUAGE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

REALLY YOU ARE UPSET THAT THEY

ARE HAVING TROUBLE DECIDING

WHICH LANGUAGE SHOULD BE THE

OFFICIAL LANGUAGE?

[LAUGHTER]

I'M SURE THERE'S LIKE A

BELGIAN.BLOGSPOT.COM RIGHT NOW

WHAT A RIDICULOUS (bleep).

[LAUGHTER]

HIT HIM WITH THE WHIPPED CREAM

CANNON.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: THEY ARE PROTESTING

CUTS IN GOVERNMENT SPENDING.

WHY DOES THAT SEEM SO STRANGE.

IT'S NOT A BAILOUT.

IT'S A TAKEOVER.

>> STOP SPENDING AND DON'T

BANKRUPT THE COUNTRY.

>> STOP SELLING MY GRANDCHILDREN

INTO DEFICIT SLAVERY.

>> THE ONLY GOOD COMMUNIST IS A

DEAD COMMUNIST.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: HE'S NOT COMING TO OUR

RALLY.

SO AMERICA BOOSTS SPENDING,

PEOPLE HERE GO BAT (bleep).

EUROPE CUT SPENDING PEOPLE GO DE

BAT.

YES, COMPUTER.

AHHH THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

ABC PRESENTS THEIR NEW HIT

SHOW -- A GREAT NEW SHOW WHERE

TWO CONTINENTS TRADE LIEWN

ACTIVES AND BOTH LEARN SOMETHING

ABOUT THE PERILS OF ENTITLEMENT

CULTURE AND LAISSEZ FAIRE

COMMUNISM.

MARIO LOPEZ AND KITTY DUE CAKOUS

HOST MOB

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