Look Who's Still Talking

  • Aired:  11/15/12
  •  | Views: 249,920

Mitt Romney blames his election loss on the extraordinary government gifts President Obama used to bribe his voting base. (3:41)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE ""DAILY SHOW"." MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

I HAVE A GOOD DIVEST TONIGHT.

THE MOST DELIGHTFUL LAUGH IN TELEVISION TO MY MIND, JUDGE ANDREW NAPOLITANO WILL BE

JOINING US RIGHT OVER HERE.

FIRST, I WANT TO LET YOU PEOPLE KNOW I AM A JEW WHO IS IN TO POLITICS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

BEEN DOING THE SHOW 15 YEARS NOW.

( LAUGHTER ) SPEAKING OF WHICH, OOH, I THINK WE HAVE A NEW MIDDLE EAST WAR BREWING OUT THERE.

THAT'S LATE-BREAKING NEWS.

WE'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT WHEN WE GET BACK.

WHAT'S BETTER THAN A MIDDLE EAST WAR.

LET'S BEGIN ONE MORE FROM THE "WHERE ARE THEY NOW?." YOU MAY REMEMBER MITT ROMNEY

MADE A RATHER INFAMOUS STATEMENT THAT 47% OF THE COUNTRY WOULD NOT VOTE FOR HIM BECAUSE THEY

SAW HIMSELF AS VICTIMS, ENTITLED-- HOUSING, HEALTH CARE, FROM THE GOVERNMENT.

AS IT TURNS OUT, MUCH TO HIS DISAPPOINTMENT, BARACK OBAMA WAS ABLE TO PICK UP FOUR MORE

PERCENT OF REAL AMERICA GIVING HIM THE VICTORY.

OF COURSE ROMNEY WALKED BACK HIS 47% STATEMENT.

>> IN THIS CASE I SAID SOMETHING THAT WAS JUST COMPLETELY WRONG, AND I ABSOLUTELY BELIEVE,

HOWEVER, THAT MY LIFE HAS SHOWN THAT I CARE ABOUT 100%, AND-- AND THAT'S BEEN DEMONSTRATED

THROUGHOUT MY LIFE.

>> Jon: I BELIEVE HIM.

( LAUGHTER ) THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT A MAN STANDING IN FRONT OF A PERFECTLY PRESSED FLAG AND THE WORLD'S

CLEANEST INDOOR TRACTOR THAT SAYS, "I'M THE REAL DEAL." LAUGHED LAUGH ( LAUGHTER )

YOU CAN IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN THIS MAN, SO UNFAIRLY CHARACTER TURD, BY HIS OWN WORDS, AS AN

OUT-OF-TOUCH PLUTOCRAT YESTERDAY BLAMED HIS CAMPAIGN LOSS ON LEACHES.

>> WHAT THE PRESIDENT'S CAMPAIGN DID WAS FOCUS ON CERTAIN MEMBERS OF HIS BASE COALITION, GIVE THEM

EXTRAORDINARY FINANCIAL GIFTS FROM THE GOVERNMENT, AND THEN WORK VERY AGGRESSIVELY TO TURN

THEM OUT TO VOTE.

( LAUGHTER )

>> Jon: HOW ON EARTH DID MITT ROMNEY FIND OUT ABOUT THE EXTRAORDINARY BAG OF GIFTS?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT WE GOT.

AND THIS.

OH, WHAT DID OBAMA GIVE US?

OH, A BAG OF WEED.

THAT WAS NICE.

OH, FOOD STAMP COZY.

CONTRACEPTION VARIETY PACK!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) VERY THOUGHTFUL.

PINATA FILLED WITH GREEN CARDS!

AND, OF COURSE, FOR THE HIPSTER VOTERS, A CERTIFICATE WHERE LENA DUNHAM WILL CHASTISE YOU WHILE

YOU MASTER BAIT.

I'M KIDDING!

THESE ARE THE GIFTS MITT ROMNEY IS TALKING ABOUT.

>> THE PRESIDENT WOOED HISPANIC VOTERS ARE FREE HEALTH CARE AND AMNESTY FOR CHILDREN OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS.

>> WITH REGARDS TO THE YOUNG PEOPLE, FOR INSTANCE, ROMNEY SAID, A FORGIVENESS OF COLLEGE

LOAN INTEREST WAS A BIG GIFT.

>> ANYONE 26 YEARS OF AGE OR YOUNGER WAS NOW GOING TO BE PART OF THEIR PARENTS' PLAN.

>> FREE CONTRACEPTIVES WERE VERY BIG WITH YOUNG

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