Men Not at Work

  • Aired:  11/03/11
  •  | Views: 220,799

Congressional Republicans believe that the only thing more important than focusing on jobs is sending Barack Obama a petty, unrelated message on official house stationery. (6:45)

AND AS YOU KNOW, AMERICANS HAVE A LOT ON THEIR MINDS RIGHT NOW.

PEOPLE ARE TALKING, TALKING ABOUT ISSUES, TALKING ABOUT INTERESTS, HOBBIES, ABOUT

INTEREST TEEN HEARTTHROB JUST DIN-- JUSTIN BEANER JUMPED A LADY-- KNOCKED UP A BABY IN A BATHROOM.

INCIDENTALLY, THAT'S HOW MY PARENTS MET, BATHROOM AT A JUSTIN BEANER CONCERT.

(LAUGHTER) DON'T THINK ABOUT IT.

BUT THE TRTED IS, WE SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT ANY OF THAT.

>> WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT JOBS.

>> LET'S TALK ABOUT CREATING JOBS.

>> WHY AREN'T WE TRYING TO CREATE JOBS.

>> JOBS.

>> JOBS,.

>> JOBS,.

>> KIDS NEED JOBS.

>> Jon: AND IS THAT IS WHY,

I MICHELE BACHMANN MAKE SURE THAT MY FACT-CHECKING STAFF CONSIST ENTIRELY OF THIRD GRADERS.

GREAT.

SO, LET'S SEE WHAT IS-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: LET'S SEE YOU GUYS PUT THE MONEY WE'RE NOT MAKING WHERE YOUR MOUTHS ARE.

>> MR. SPEAKER, PURSUANT TO HOUSE RES LOUTION 375 I MOVE TO SUSPEND THE RULES AND

AGREE TO HOUSE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION 13, REAFFIRMING IN GOD WE TRUST AS THE

OFFICIAL MOTTO OF THE UNITED STATES.

>> Jon: SERIOUSLY?

(LAUGHTER) THE CONGRESSMAN DEBATING THE MOTTO OF THE UNITED STATES.

A GOOD PART OF OUR NATIONAL HERITAGE EVER SINCE OUR FOUNDING FOUNDERS CREATED

OUR MOTTO BACK IN-- 1956.

ALL RIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: HEY, IS THAT WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE.

ARE WE TAKING SUGGESTIONS FOR NEW MOTTOUS.

I GOT A COUPLE, HOW ABOUT THIS, AMERICA, YOU'VE MET OUR DRONES, NOW MEET OUR PEOPLE.

WAIT-- HOLD ON.

I GOT YOU KNOW.

AMERICA, HOME OF THE REAGAN.

HEY, WORLD, YOU CAN'T SPELL SUCK IT WITHOUT U.S.

IF YOU FLIP THE LETTERS.

ACTUALLY, THE VOTE WASN'T TO CHANGE THE SLOGAN BUT REAFFIRM THE SLOGAN,

ESSENTIALLY RENEWING THE WEDDING VOWS BETWEEN GOD AND AMERICA.

AS FAR AS I KNOW NO LEGISLATORS ARE ACTUALLY CALLING FOR THE MOTTO TO BE CHANGED.

SO WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?

>> THIS WAS A PRIORITY BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT HIMSELF HAD STATED INCORRECTLY THAT THE MOTTO

OF THE COUNTRY WAS HE PLUR I BECAUSE UNUM, WE THOUGHT WE WOULD REMIND HIM.

>> OH O SO YOU ARE DOING TO BE DICKS.

THE ONLY THING-- THE ONLY THING MORE IMPORTANT THAN FOCUSING ON JOBS IS SENDING

THE PRESIDENT A PETTY AND UNRELATED MESSAGE ON OFFICIAL HOUSE STATIONERY.

ALTHOUGH LET ME GUESS TLARX IS NOT ACTUALLY THE MAIN ARGUMENT THAT YOU ARE MAKING

ON THE HOUSE FLOOR.

>> IF WE ANSWERED THE QUESTION THE OTHER WAY,

MR. CHAIRMAN, IF MAN IS GOD,

THEN ANATIEST STATE IS AS BRUTAL AS THE THESIS THAT IT REST PONS AND THERE IS NO

LONGER ANY REASON FOR TO US GATHER HERE IN THIS PLACE.

WE SHOULD JUST LET ANARCHY PREVAIL BECAUSE AFTER ALL,

WE ARE JUST ONE FOOD.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: I GUESS WHAT MI SAYING HERE, MR. SPEAKER S THAT THIS FOUR WORD MOTTO IS

RIGHT NOW THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN ME AND A NILISTIC KILLING SPREE BETWEEN ME IN AN EP IN PROPORTION.

WANT TO STATE FOR THE CONGRESSIONAL RECORD, I DO NOT LIKE RIGHT FROM WRONG

AND UNLIKE THAT GUY IN NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, I JUST GOT TO CHECK THE COIN, IN

GOD WE TRUST OR SHOULD I KILL THIS [BLEEP].

I JUST DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW.

SO WE'VE HEARD ALL PROT ARGUMENTS.

ANYONE WANT TO TAKE A STAND FOR GODLESS ANARCHY.

OH, GREAT, THE JEWISH FELLOW FROM NEW YORK.

>> RATHER THAN TRYING TO ONE UP EACH OTHER OR WHO CAN BE THE BETTER OR MORE GODLY

AMERICAN WE SHOULD BE WORKING TOGETHER TO SOLVE OUR VERY REAL PROBLEMS.

>> Jon: BURN HIM TAKE HIM AWAY AND BURN HIM.

BE GONE.

ACTUALLY NADLER'S RESPONSE WAS AT LEAST A LITTLE MORE COURAGEOUS THAN A FELLOW

MEMBER NEW YORK DELEGATION,

INDIVIDUAL WHO ANSWERED IN THE FORM OF THE SUBTEXT.

>> I RELUCTANTLY SUPPORTED IT BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO BELIEVE THAT I

DIDN'T TRUST GOD.

>> Jon: WOULD YOU BELIEVE I BELIEVE?

IN FACT, IF I MAY, THOSE OF YOU WHO SAW ME ASLEEP IN A DOMINICAN VACATION CONDO, IN

THIS PICTURE I'M ACTUALLY PRAYING TO THE SUN GOD WHO I TRUST TO TAN ME EVENLY.

THAT IS-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW HOW CHARLIE RANGEL STILL HAS A THROAT.

IN THE END, THE BILL PASSED.

396-9, REAFFIRMING OUR MOTTO.

OF COURSE THAT WASN'T ENOUGH TO KEEP WHOLE SPECTACLE FROM DEPRESSING ONE VERY NICE

BLOND WOMAN.

>> IT'S KIND OF SAD,

ACTUALLY, I THINK THAT THE HOUSE ACTUALLY HAS TO VOTE ON THIS BUT THEY DO.

IT'S CRAZY-- TO EVEN HAVE TO HAVE A VOTE BUT THAT IS THE ERA THAT WE LIVE IN.

>> THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO VOTE FON.

THE MOTTO WAS UNDER NO THREAT.

NOBODY MOVED TO STRIKE THE MOTTO, YOUR GUYS BROUGHT IT UP.

AND EVEN IN THIS NEW GODLESS ERA, IT PASSED WITH 97% SUPPORT.

THE LAST IS UP HER A HIGHER PERCENTAGE OF DISSENT.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, AT LEAST THEY FINALLY VOTED ON THE BILL AND CONGRESS CAN SPEND

THE REST OF ITS TIME ON MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS.

>> HR-2527, A BILL TO REQUIRE THE SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY TO MINT COINS IN

RECOGNITION AND CELEBRATION OF THE NATIONAL BASEBALL HALL OF FAME.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: I'M BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND OUR MOTSO IS IN GOD WE TRUST BECAUSE GOD

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