Morsi "Viva Hate" - Egyptian Democracy

  • Aired:  04/01/13
  •  | Views: 123,258

Without Bassem Youssef and the journalists who took to Tahrir Square in protest, President Morsi would not be in a position to repress them. (6:21)

JEWS YOU CAN'T GO WITH A KOSHER ANIMAL.

YOUR GOAT?

CLEARLY PRESIDENT MORSI KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND THE GOOD RELIGIOUS INSULT.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE BASSEM MAY HAVE DONE HERE PERHAPS CONCERNING THE PRESIDENT HIMSELF

>> HE MOCKED HIM WHEN HE WAS AWARDED AN HONORARY DEGREE IN PAKISTAN AND TOOK AIM AT THE

PRESIDENT'S LESS THAN FLUENT ENGLISH.

>> Jon: MAKING FUN OF THE PRESIDENT'S HAT AND LESS THAN FLUENT ENGLISH -- THAT WAS MY

ENTIRE CAREER FOR EIGHT YEARS.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA...

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT'S ALL I DID.

I'M SORRY.

YOU SHOULD HEAR WHAT WE SAY ABOUT THE PRESIDENT WE SUPPOSEDLY LIKE.

BARACK, YOU SMOKE SO MUCH YOUR LUNGS ARE THE ONLY AUTHENTICALLY BLACK THINGS ABOUT YOU.

KIND OF REMINDS ME OF HIS CAMPAIGN SLOGAN.

YES, WE CAN.

BUT SHOULD WE?

WHAT HAPPENED TO BARRY FROM THE BLOCK?

HAVE WE BEEN FOOLED BY THE BARACK THAT YOU GOT?

ALL THAT POWER THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE WHEN SOMEONE ELSE HAD IT, YOU DECIDED TO KEEP IT.

OH, MY GOD.

YOU'RE FRODO.

ARREST ME.

I DON'T GET THIS, MAN.

YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT OF EGYPT.

THE INHERITOR OF ONE OF THE GREATEST LANDS AND PEOPLE IN RECORDED HISTORY.

YOUR PEOPLE INVENTED CIVILIZATION.

THE ANCIENT GREEKS WENT TO EGYPT AND WERE LIKE, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE GEOMETRY AND MYTHOLOGY?

ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH THOSE?

COULD WE USE THOSE?

THE EGYPTIANS INVENTED WRITTEN LANGUAGE.

AND PAPER.

TOOTHPASTE.

PEOPLE BEING BURIED WITH THEIR CATS.

THAT WAS YOU.

A STYLE OF WALKING PEOPLE SING ABOUT EVEN TODAY.

EGYPT BUILT THE GREAT PYRAMIDS.

MAYBE YOU COULD GET SOME OF THE FOLKS WHO BUILT THOSE WHO WORK ON GETTING YOU A THICKER SKIN.

WELL NOT THE SAME PEOPLE.

I OBVIOUSLY... I CAN'T HANDLE TWO PASSOVERS.

I CAN'T HANDLE IT.

SO BASSEMOUS RECEIVE POKED FUN OF YOUR HAT AND YOUR LACK OF PROMISED DEMOCRATIC REFORMS.

WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?

YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT OF EGYPT.

YOU HAVE AN ARMY.

HE'S GOT PUNS IN A SHOW.

YOU HAVE TANKS AND PLANES.

WE SHOULD KNOW.

WE STILL HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

LOOK, SILENCING A COMEDIAN DOESN'T QUALIFY YOU TO BE PRESIDENT OF EGYPT.

JUST PRESIDENT OF NBC.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

TALK ABOUT A ONCE PROUD EMPIRE.

WHATEVER PROBLEMS YOU HAVE IN EGYPT, AT LEAST YOU CAN'T DREAM LIKE SMASH.

LOOK, (LAUGHING) I'M SORRY.

A COUPLE OF BLOGGERS JUST WENT NUTS.

WHEN YOU ARE ACTUALLY POWERFUL YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PETTY.

I KNOW.

I'M PETTY ALL THE TIME.

AND THE TRUTH IS... COME HERE.

LET ME TALK TO YOU.

COME HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT, MR. PRESIDENT?

THE POWER OF SATIRE TO OVER THROW THE SADDEST CO.

I'VE BEEN DOING THIS CRAP FOR 15 YEARS.

GRANTED I'M NOT AS POPULAR AS BASSEM BUT WE'VE HAD OUR NIGHTS.

THERE'S BEEN A GRAND TOTAL OF ZERO TOPPLED GOVERNMENTS WE'VE BROUGHT ABOUT DURING THAT TIME.

WE COULDN'T STOP THE IRAQ WAR.

WE TRIED.

I COULDN'T EVEN GET JIM KRAMER OFF THE AIR.

THE MONEY SHOW WHERE SOUND EFFECTS GIVE YOU STOCK INVESTMENT ADVICE.

COME ON!

CHARGING BASSEM WITH INSULTING ISLAM AND EGYPT.

THERE ARE TWO THINGS HE LOVED IN THIS WORLD WITH ALL HIS HEART: EGYPT AND ISLAM.

AND HIS FAMILY.

THREE THINGS.

THERE'S THREE THINGS.

AND WHAT IS THAT FLAT BREAD WITH THE CHEESE THAT'S TART?

IT'S LIKE A... IT'S NOT...

THERE'S FOUR THINGS THAT HE LIKES.

MY POINT IS BASSEM LOVES EGYPT SO MUCH HE CHOOSES TO LIVE THERE EVEN THOUGH SOME CRAZY GUY IS

THREATENING TO ARREST HIM.

OH, RIGHT.

BY THE WAY WITHOUT BASSEM AND ALL THOSE JOURNALISTS AND BLOGGERS AND BRAVE PROTESTORS

WHO WOOK TO THE SQUARE TO VOICE DISSENT YOU PRESIDENT MORSI WOULD NOT BE IN A POSITION TO

REPRESS THEM.

FOR SOMEONE WHO SPENT TIME IN JAIL YOURSELF...

( APPLAUSE ) FOR SOMEONE WHO SPENT TIME IN JAIL YOURSELF UNDER MUBARAK YOU SEEM AWFULLY EAGER TO SEND OTHER

PEOPLE THERE FOR THE SAME NONCRIMES.

JUST LIKE YOU THEY WILL ONLY EMERGE FROM PRISON STRONGER AND MORE DETERMINED.

SO SENDING COMEDIANS AND BLOGGERS TO PRISON ACCOMPLISHES IS LOWERING THE QUALITY OF

PRISON YARD ATHLETICS.

OBVIOUSLY, LOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE DEMOCRACY ADVICE FROM AN APE-PIG MAN LIKE MYSELF.

BUT PERHAPS YOU'LL LISTEN TO THIS BRAVE EGYPTIAN REVOLUTIONARY.

>> WHOEVER CRITICIZES ME HAS THE FULL RIGHT TO DO SO.

I WELCOME ANY CRITICISM.

I WELCOME EVERY OPINION.

I WELCOME EVERY VIEW.

>> ELBARADEI THEY DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GOING TO JAIL?

>> THEY ARE EGYPTIANS.

THEY ARE PART OF MY FAMILY FROM EGYPT.

THERE IS NO WAY THAT ANY HARM CAN BEFALL THEM BECAUSE OF THEIR OPINIONS OR THEIR PERSONAL OPPOSITION.

>> Jon: NOW THAT'S THE KIND OF OPEN DEMOCRATIC SPIRIT THAT A GREAT NATION LIKE EGYPT DESERVES.

I'M GOING TO LET YOU KNOW A LITTLE SECRET.

THE WORLD IS WATCHING.

NO ONE WANTS TO SEE EGYPT PLUNGE INTO DARKNESS.

DEMOCRACY ISN'T A DEMOCRACY IF IT ONLY LASTS UP UNTIL SOMEONE MAKES FUN OF YOUR HAT.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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