Big Vladdy

  • Aired:  03/06/14
  •  | Views: 163,300

Dispite mounting evidence to the contrary, Vladimir Putin continues to insist that there is no Russian military presence in Crimea. (3:19)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME TO

THE DAILY SHOW, MY NAME ISJON STEWART, MY GUEST

TONIGHT BARNARD COLLEGEPROFESSOR KIMBERLY MARTEN.

SHE IS AN EXPERT ON RUSSIANPOLITICS WITH JUST A

SUBSPECIALTY OF BEINGINCREDIBLY BUSY THESE DAYS, IN

FACT WE'RE GOING TO GETRIGHT TO THE GROWING CRISIS

OVERSEAS, CRIMEAN WAR 2UKRAINIAN BOOGALOO.

LISTEN.

AFTER A WEEK OF LETTING HISTROOP MOVEMENTS DO THE

TALKING, RUSSIAN STRONGMANVLADIMIR PUTIN SAT DOWN

TUESDAY WITH HIS COUNTRY'SOFF CENSORED MEDIA TO

EXPLAIN HIMSELF.

>> THIS IS WHAT I WOULD LIKETO SUGGEST.

LET'S HAVE A CONVERSATIONRATHER THAN AN INTERVIEW.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT I DIDNOT SEE THAT COMING.

A CONVERSATION, A RAPSESSION.

I NEVER SAW PUTIN AS THECOOL DAD.

SOMEBODY WHO WOULD PULL UP ACHAIR, FLIP AROUND, PUT ON A

BASEBALL HAT.

LET'S TALK ABOUT POT AND JERKINGOFF.

BUT IT'S A PLEASANT SURPRISE,LET'S GET TO THE

CONVERSATION.

>> I WOULD ASK YOU TO BEGINBY STATING ALL YOUR

QUESTIONS.

I WILL JOT THEM DOWN AND TRYTO ANSWER THEM.

FINE.

LET US STOP HERE FOR NOW.

I WILL BEGIN, DON'TINTERRUPT ME.

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: I FORGOT AN

INTERESTING FACT.

IN RUSSIA THE WORD FORCONVERSATION IS THE SAME

WORD AS THE WORD FOR SHUTTHE [BLEEP] UP.

LET ME TALK.

FIRST THING'SFIRST, YOU LIKE THAT, BIG

VLADY?

FIRST THING'S FIRST.

ALRIGHT, VLADIMIR, ARETHERE RUSSIAN TROOPS IN THE

UKRAINE?

>> THOSE ARE LOCALSELF-DEFENSE UNITS.

ABOUT THE USE OF MILITARY,THERE IS NO NEED FOR THIS SO

FAR.

THIS IS VERY INTERESTING.

HAVE YOU MENTIONED TO THESELOCAL SELF-DEFENSE UNITS

THAT THEY ARE NOT FROMRUSSIA, BECAUSE --

>> I AM A RUSSIAN SOLDIER.

>> I SHOULD HAVE LET HIMFINISH.

I AM RUSSIAN SOLDIER.

IN DREAM YOU ARE HAVING.

(LAUGHTER)WHEN YOU WAKE UP, THERE WILL

BE NO MEMORY OF THIS.

COME ON, VLADIMIR.

>> VLADIMIR, VLADIMIR PUTIN.

THE SOLDIERS ARE SAYING THEYARE FROM RUSSIA.

THEY ARE SPEAKING RUSSIAN,THEY'RE WEARING RUSSIAN ARMY

UNIFORMS, KIND OF.

>> WELL, LOOK AT THE FORMERSOVIET REPUBLICS.

BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OFUNIFORMS THAT LOOK LIKE

THEM.

YOU CAN GO TO A STORE ANDBUY A UNIFORM.

(LAUGHTER)>> Jon: RIGHT, BUT I'M NOT

SURE YOU CAN GO TO THE STOREAND BUY TEN THOUSAND OF

THEM.

OR HAVE THAT STORE THROW INSOME RUSSIAN TANKS!

OR ARE THOSE JUST PART OFCRIMEA'S NEW CITI TANK

PROGRAM.

PEOPLE WANT TO GET AROUND,THEY GO IN, THEY DO A THING.

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