Back in Black - Immortal Black

  • Aired:  05/14/14
  •  | Views: 63,276

Lewis Black reports on some scientific advancements that are attempting to make immortality a reality. (3:26)

WELCOME BACK! WHEN A NEWS STORYFALLS THROUGH THE CRACKS,

LEWIS BLACK CATCHES IT. FOR ASEGMENT WE CALL, BACK IN BLACK.

EVERYONE WANTS TO LIVE LONGER.

I GUESS THE IDEA IS IF YOU GOLONG ENOUGH,

IT MUST EVENTUALLY GET GOOD. SOLET'S SEE WHAT GREAT IDEAS

OUR BEST SCIENTISTS HAVECOME UP WITH.

>> SCIENTISTS AT HARVARD ANDSTANFORD UNIVERSITY MAY HAVE

FOUND A WAY TO REVERSE AGING.

>> THEY'RE CALLING THIS THEVAMPIRE THERAPY.

>> VAMPIRE THERAPY, I LIKE MYSCIENCE TRENDY.

DO I GET TO GET BIT IN THE NECK?

DO I FINALLY GET TO DRINK THEBLOOD OF STRANGERS? LEGALLY.

IF HARVARD AND SANFORD ARE INON IT IT'S GOT TO BE PRETTY

SOPHISTICATED.

>> THEY ACTUALLY SEW TOGETHER ANOLDER MOUSE WITH A YOUNGER MOUSE

SO THAT THEY SHARE BLOOD.

AND, GUESS WHAT ENDED UPHAPPENING?

>> WHAT ENDED UP HAPPENING?

I'M GOING TO GUESS EVERYONESTARTED PUKING THEIR GUTS OUT

FROM SEWING MICE TOGETHER.

>> THE OLDER MOUSE, IT GOTSTRONGER, IT HAD A

BETTER MEMORY AS THEY COULD SEEWHEN IT RAN IT THROUGH MAZES.

>> ALL THE WHILE SCREAMING, GETTHIS [BLEEP] MOUSE OFF MY BACK.

OKAY. BESIDES RODENTNEEDLE POINT WHAT

ELSE DOES SCIENCE HAVE UP ITSLAB COAT?

>> SCIENCE AT THE SCRIPTSRESEARCH INSTITUTES IN SAN DIEGO

CALIFORNIA CREATED AN ORGANISMNOT FOUND IN NATURE.

>> Jon: SO WHAT?

I DO THAT EVERY MORNING.

[LAUGHTER]THEN I FLUSH IT AND GET ON WITHMY

DAY.

>> THE SCIENTISTS SAY FOR THEFIRST TIME THEY HAVE CREATED

ARTIFICIAL DNA.

>> THEY DID IT BY ADDINGARTIFICIAL GENETIC BUILDINGBLOCKS.

>> YOU MAY REMEMBERFROM SCHOOL OUR GENETIC

CODE CONTAINS FOURLETTERS, A, T, C AND G

THEY'RE THE SO-CALLED BUILDINGBLOCKS OF DNA.

>> A, T, C AND G ARE DEFINITELYMY BUILDING BLOCKS.

FOR ME THEY STAND FOR ALCOHOL,TOBACCO, CIGARS AND GRAVY.

LET'S PRETEND FOR A MOMENT THATDNA TAMPERING AND MOUSE TORTURE

DOESN'T WORK.

THEN WHAT'S LARRY KING GONNA DO?

>> SCIENTISTS HAVE FOR THEFIRST TIME CLONED CELLS FROM

ADULTS.

>> YOU CAN REINJECT SOME OF THEGOOD CELLS IN THE HEART IN

ORDER TO BE ABLE TO MAKEPEOPLE LIVE LONGER.

>> WAIT A MINUTE, WE FIGURED OUTHOW TO CLONE PEOPLE AND ALL

WE'RE DOING WITH IT IS FIXINGUSED HEARTS?

I DON'T WANT TO REFURBISHEDTICKER, I WANT ANOTHER ME.

IF YOU CAN GIVE HIM TWO LIVERS IMIGHT NEED AN EXTRA.

SO APPARENTLY, IFWE WANT TO EXTEND OUR LIVES

THE CHOICES ARE EITHER BECOMEGODS WHO USE TECHNOLOGY

TO TOY WITH THE VERY FABRIC OFOUR BEING.

IGNORING THESE DISASTROUSCONSEQUENCES THAT COULD ARISE.

OR I GUESS WE COULD JUST EATSOME KALE AND JOIN A GYM.

[LAUGHTER]WELL, I'VE MADE UP MY MIND.

GET ME A MOUSE AND SOMETHREAD. JON.

>> Jon: LEWIS BLACK, EVERYBODY.WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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