Tea Party Primaries - Beyond the Palin

  • Aired:  09/15/10
  •  | Views: 290,051

Wyatt Cenac, Jason Jones and John Oliver debate the ways Democrats will f**k up the Tea Party primary victories. (6:30)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE'VE GOT A SHOW FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT THE GREAT JON

HAMM.

JUST TWO STYLE ICONS JUST

SHOOTING THE BREEZE.

[LAUGHTER]

ONE ICON AND A SCHUK WHO --

SCHMUCK WHO WEARS CHINOS.

FIRST ANOTHER RIND OF PRIMARIES.

I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU.

WHAT WAS UP?

>> MORE TEA PARTY WINS.

>> A STUNNING SHOW OF STRENGTH

BY THE TEA PARTY.

>> THEY'VE WON A RACE IN NEW

YORK, MAYBE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE AND

THIS HUGE UPSET IN THE STATE OF

DELAWARE.

>> Jon: WE DID IT, YEAH!

YES!

BAM!

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN WHERE AT

LEAST --

[LAUGHTER]

I GUESS I'M A BIT OF A BAND

WAGON JUMPER.

I APOLOGIZE.

GOT SWEPT AWAY.

IT'S TIME FOR INDECISION 2010

TEA PARTY EDITION:

♪ ♪

SO WHO WERE OUR WINNERS LAST

NIGHT?

MEET NEW REPUBLICAN NOMINEE FOR

GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK PAUL

PALADINO HE HAS ABE VGODA'S

BEDROOM EYES.

THERE'S ALSO THIS.

>> HIS E-MAILS TO BUSINESS

ASSOCIATES CONTAIN RACIST JOKES,

PORN AND BESTIALITY.

>> Jon: OH, RACIST JOKES, PORN

AND BESTIALITY, I WAS TOLD THIS

WAS GOING BE A TEA PARTY.

OOOOH I DIDN'T KNOW THEY

(bleep) HORSES AT TEA PARTY.

[LAUGHTER]

HE HAD A GOOD EXPLANATION FOR

THE RAUNCHY E-MAILS.

>> I FORWARDED E-MAILS.

I'M IN THE CONSTRUCTION

INDUSTRY.

I GET A LOT OF THIS WILL JUNK

SENT TO ME.

>> Jon: THAT IS BROADS BANGING

HORSES.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOT

PERIOD TO IT OUT?

WHAT PART OF THE I'M IN THE

CONSTRUCTION INDUSTRY DO YOU NOT

UNDERSTAND IN HUH?

THE OTHER VICTORY IS IN DELAWARE

WHERE CHRISTINE O'DONNELL WAS

THE QUEEN OF DELAWARE REPUBLICAN

MIKE -- SHE PAWNED HIM.

LET'S MEET HER.

>> IT'S MORE OF A CAUSE THAN THE

CAMPAIGN AND THE CAUSE IS

RESTORING AMERICA.

>> Jon: MMMMM, THE PALIN IS

STRONG IN THIS ONE.

MMMMM.

MY GOD JUST GIVE HER BANGS AND A

PAIR OF RIMMED GLASSES AND SHE'D

BE A DEAD RINGER OH, MY GOD!

NO WHICH ONE IS BRIDGET FONDA.

WHICH ONE IS JENNIFER JASON

LEESM I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING

ON.

YOU HAVE BESTIALITY E-MAILS.

GOOD LUCK PINNING ANYTHING ON

SNOW WHITE OVER HERE.

>> LUST IN YOUR HEART IS COMMIT

AGRICULTURERY.

YOU CAN'T MAY HAVE THER BAIT

WITHOUT LUST.

YOU ARE PLEASING EACH OTHER.

HE KNOWS WHAT PLEASES HIM AND HE

CAN PLEASE HIMSELF THEN WHY AM I

IN THE PICTURE?

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: YOU'RE IN THE PICTURE,

MY DEAR BECAUSE AS OSCAR WILDE

ONCE SAID, "I CAN'T REACH IT

WITH MY MOUTH."

BOOM!

OW!

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT CAME

FROM.

I WONDER HOW DEMOCRATS ARE

REACTING TO THIS SLATE OF

REPUBLICAN NEW BLOOD.

THIS SAY BOON FOR DEMOCRATS TO

HAVE THESE FAR RIGHT WING

CANDIDATES THERE.

>>S A HUGE SWING TO THE RIGHT

AND THEY ARE GOING TO SAY WE

DON'T WANT TO GO WAY OVER THERE.

>> WE FEEL LIKE WE HAVE A SUPER

CHANCE TO WIN.

>> Jon: THE DEMOCRATS WITH THE

GIDDY EXPECTATIONS OF SCHOOL

CHILDREN TO ARRIVE WITHOUT THEIR

HOMEWORK TO REALIZE THE TEACHER

HAS BEEN IN A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT.

FOR MORE ON THIS STORY WE'RE

JOINED BY OUR POLITICAL EXPERTS.

HERE THEY ARE JOHN OLIVER, WYATT

CENAC.

THE DEMOCRATS ARE GIDDY AT THIS

TURN OF EVENTS.

THEY ARE SO EXCITED.

THEY ARE CONVINCED THEY'VE

GUARANTEED THEMSELVES A HOLD ON

THE SENATE.

LOU THEY (bleep) THIS WILL UP,

WYATT CENAC?

>> JON, I THINK DEMOCRATS WILL

(bleep) THIS UP THROUGH

COMPLACENCY, A CLASSIC SCOTT

BROWN MASSACHUSETTS SITUATION

WHEN HIS DEMOCRATIC AND HEAVILY

FAVORED OPPONENT MARTHA COAKLEY

BEARED BOTHERED TO CAMPAIGN.

>> WHEN ASKED WHY ALL THE

BACKROLL ROOM DEALINGS SHE SAID

AS OPPOSED TO STANDING OUTSIDE

FENWAY PARK IN THE COLD, SHAKING

HANDS?

>> SHAKE HANDS BEFORE I WIN SNOW

IN THESE ARE ANY MOST ELECTION

HIGH FIVE HANDS.

>> I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.

I THINK DEMOCRATS WILL (bleep)

THIS UP BY MISSING THE POINT.

THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE FOR

SENATE IN DELAWARE O'DONNELL IS

RUNNING TO RESTORE FISCAL SANITY

TO WASHINGTON YET LEAVES BEHIND

A TRAIL OF UNPAID BILLS AND

LEGAL ISSUES.

THE DEMOCRATS WILL SPEND ALL

THEIR TIME RIDICULING HER FOR

OPPOSING MASTERBATION.

I ASSUME HOPING FOR A HIGH

TURNOUT OF THE PROMAY HAVE THER

BASING CROWD.

>> GOOD G- LUCK TURNING OUT THE

MASTURBATEOR VOTE.

>> NOTORIOUSLY UNRELIABLE.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN A LINGERIE

COMMERCIAL IS COMING ON.

>> Jon: THAT IS WHAT KILLED

MONDEAL AGAINST REAGAN.

>> YOU FORGET THAT THE DEMOCRATS

ARE A DYNAMIC INNOVATIVE PARTY

CONSTANTLY THINKING OF NEW WAYS

TO (bleep) UP A SURE THING.

I BELIEVE THE DEMOCRATS WILL TRY

TO USURP THE TEA PARTY'S

FOLKIESINESS BY THROWING A FUND

RAISER WITH SEAN PENN DINING ON

DIAMOND CRUSTED MAHI MAHI WHILE

THE EAGLE THEY RENTED ATTACKED

SCHOOL CHILDREN FORCING THE

CAN'T LOSE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE

TO BEAT THAT BALD EAGLE TO DEATH

IN FRONT OF LIVE TELEVISION

CAMERAS WITH THE NEWEST LARGE

BOOK HE CAN FIND WHICH IS --

>> Jon: DON'T SAY IT.

>> YOU KNOW IT.

A KORAN.

>> Jon: I COULD SEE THAT

COMING A MILE AWAY THAT IS GOING

TO BE AN AWESOME WAY TO

(bleep) THIS UP.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WYATT CENA

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