Money Talks - The Maopets & Wealth on Film

  • Aired:  12/14/11
  •  | Views: 54,383

Fox News identifies "The Muppets" movie as communist propaganda, and John Hodgman analyzes Hollywood's depiction of the rich and powerful as greedy, bloated space turds. (5:38)

THERE ARE SO MANY CONTROVERSIES,

SO MANY CONTROVERSIES THIS

HOLIDAY SEASON, BUT OF ALL OF

THEM, ONLY ONE IS THE STUPIDEST.

>> THE MUPPETS ARE BACK AND

BEING TERRORIZED BY AN EVIL OIL

EXECUTIVE IN THEIR NEW MOVIE.

I MEAN THIS IS A MUPPET MOVIE

FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

THE ONLY THING GREEN ON THAT

SCREEN SHOULD BE KERMIT THE

FROG.

>> CLASS WARFARE.

IT'S TEACHING OUR KIDS CLASS

WARFARE.

WHERE ARE WE, COMMUNIST CHINA?

>>

>> Jon: YES.

I THINK HE MAY BE THINKING OF

THE MAO-PETS.

THEIR NEW MOVIE THE MAO-PETS.

ARE THE MONEY ES COMMUNIST

PROPAGANDA.

WE TURN TO OUR RESIDENT DERANGED

MILLIONAIRE JOHN HODGSON.

>> I'M ON THE CANADIAN DOLLAR.

PLEASE, SIR, CAN I HAVE SOME

MORE MONEY.

MONEY.

BOW BEFORE YOUR GOD.

MONEY TALKS.

>> JOHN HODGSON.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT IS THIS?

WHAT IS THIS?

THE MUPPETS ARE COMMUNISTS?

>> LET ME SAY OFF THE BAT I LOVE

THE MUPPETS AS MUCH AS

ANYBODIMENT YOU MAY NOT KNOW, MY

FATHER WAS A MUPPET.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: YOU'RE HALF MUPPET?

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE HALF

MUPPET.

>>ABLE TO GOOD HALF, JON.

FROM THE WAIST DOWN I'M ALL

FELT.

LADIES.

THAT SAID, YOU CANNOT DENY THE

MUPPETS ARE RADICAL MARXISTS.

>> Jon: I CAN ABSOLUTELY DENY

THAT.

>> JON, THE VILLAIN OF THE MOVIE

IS A C.E.O. CALLED TEX RICHMAN.

HE GIVES THE MUPPETS UNTIL

MIDNIGHT THE RAISE $10 MILLION

OR HE'LL STAIR DOWN THEIR

INTERSPECIES NO-PANTS COMMUNE TO

DIG FOR OIL.

AND THE CRAZY PART IS THE

MUPPETS DON'T WANT THAT TO

HAPPEN.

THEY'RE JUST LIKE THE REST OF

HOLLYWOOD, ALWAYS DEMONIZING

WEALTHY AMERICANS.

MOVIEGOERS HAVE SEEN JOB

CREATORS DEPICTED AS EVERYTHING

FROM GREEDY WHITE COLLAR

CRIMINALS TO MURDEROUS

PSYCHOPATHS TO GIANT LECHEROUS

SLUGS.

>> JABBA DID FREEZE HAN SOLO FOR

DUMPING THE CARBONITE HE WAS

SMUGGLING.

>> FINE, NERD, BUT THE POINT IS

IF THE RICH AND POWERFUL ARE

DEPICTED AS GREEDY, BLOATED

SPACE TURDZ, THERE'S NOTHING

THEY CAN SAY OR DO THAT ISN'T

GOING TO SOUND TERRIBLE.

>> WE WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO

THE NIGHT.

WE WILL NOT VANISH WITHOUT A

FIGHT.

WE'RE GOING TO LIVE ON.

WE'RE GOING TO SURVIVE.

TODAY WE CELEBRATE OUR

INDEPENDENCE DAY.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> I REST MY CASE.

>> THAT WASN'T THE WAY... THE

MOVIES HAVE HAD VERY HEROIC RICH

PEOPLE.

BATMAN, THERE'S A BILLIONAIRE.

HE FIGHTS CRIME.

>> OH, OH, I SEE.

SO IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO BE RICH

AS LONG AS I WEAR A MASK AND

RISK MY LIFE FIGHTING CRIMINALS

WITHOUT SUPERPOWERS, MIND YOU,

JUST GADGETS THAT I HAVE TO PAY

FOR MYSELF.

WELL, GUESS WHAT, I ALREADY

TRIED THAT.

AS THE UNTOUCHABLE HEDGEHOG.

>> Jon: I REMEMBER THAT.

ALL YOU DID IS CURL INTO A BALL

AT THE FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE.

[LAUGHTER]

>> YEAH, MY FIGHTING TECHNIQUE

HAS TO REFLECT MY ANIMAL

PERSONA.

DUH.

>> IF IT BOTHERS YOU, WHY DON'T

YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN MOVIES

ABOUT HOW GREAT RICH PEOPLE ARE.

>> WHY MAKE MOVIES WHEN I CAN

SIMPLY REMAKE OLD MOVIES AND

REMOVE THEIR ANTI-WEALTH BICE.

IT'S A MATTER OF EDITING.

TAKE IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, FOR

EXAMPLE

>> Jon: HOLIDAY CLASSIC.

>> CLASSIC LEFT WING PROPAGANDA

PIECE.

WITH A LITTLE TRIMMING, IT CAN

HAVE A HAPPY ENDING.

>> I SUPPOSE IT'S BETTER IF I

HAD NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL.

♪ ALUD LANG SYNE ♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

JON YOUR HAPPY ENDING IS JIMMY

STEWART COMMITTING SUICIDE?

>> YES.

OBVIOUSLY.

DID YOU SEE THIS MOVIE?

JIMMY STEWART ALMOST DESTROYS

HIS HOME TOWN BY EXTENDING RISKY

MORTGAGES TO PEOPLE UNWORTHY OF

CREDIT, AND THE ONLY THING THAT

SAVES HIM IS A HUGE PUBLIC

BAILOUT.

>> Jon: THAT'S NOT WHAT

HAPPENS.

THAT'S...

[LAUGHTER]

NOT CRAZY ABOUT THAT VERSION.

I UNDERSTAND, MAYBE NOT ENOUGH

CGI FOR YOU, WELL, WAIT UNTIL

YOU SEE MY MAGNUM OPUS, THE

STORY OF INTERGALACTIC

CAPITALISM I CALLED "PROFITAR."

>> THIS IS WHY WE'RE HERE,

BECAUSE THIS LITTLE GRAY ROCK

SELLS FOR $20 MILLION A KILO.

>> WELL, WHO AM I TO ARGUE WITH

THE FREE MARKET.

YOU HAVE A DEAL.

I NEVER LIKED THAT DUMB TREE

ANYWAY.

THE WEALTH, IT'S TRICKLING DOWN.

♪ ALUD LANG SYNE ♪♪

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, I'M STARTING

TO THINK RICH PEOPLE ARE EVIL.

>> OF COURSE WE ARE, OH, THAT

REMINDS ME, I JUST BOUGHT YOUR

STUDIO AND I'M TEARING IT DOWN

THE MAKE WAY FOR A CONDOMINIUM

SLASH LUXURY STRIP MINE AND

THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN STOP ME,

JON, THAT IS UNLESS YOU CAN

SOMEHOW RAISE $10,000 BY

MIDNIGHT.

[MOO NIGH CAL LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: WAIT, THERE'S THE

11:45 BREAK DANCING CONTEST WITH

A $10,000 PRIZE.

>>

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