On Her Majesty's Secret Cervix - A Royal Son

  • Aired:  07/22/13
  •  | Views: 129,885

England's Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, delivers a son on her very first try. (2:33)

>> John: WELCOME TO THE DAILY

SHOW.

I AM JOHN OLIVER.

I AM STILL SITTING IN HERE FOR

JON STEWART.

WE ARE ALL MISSING JON TERRIBLY

HERE WHICH IS WHY WE WERE SO

GLAD THIS WEEKEND TO SEE HIM

TWEET A PICTURE OF HIMSELF.

OH, YEAH!

OH, YEAH!

AND IF YOU DON'T GET THE

REFERENCE FOR THAT PHOTOGRAPH,

THEN CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU LIVE IN A FAR HAPPIER WORLD

THAN THE REST OF US.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT FROM THE NEW

MOVIE BLUE JASMINE WILL BE HERE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

NOW OBVIOUSLY THERE WAS A LOT TO

TALK ABOUT.

WHO AM I KIDDING.

THERE WAS EXACTLY ONE THING TO

TALK ABOUT.

>> HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE

DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE WAS SAFELY

DELIVERED OF A SON AT 4:24 P.M.

LOCAL TIME.

>> John: OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD,

OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD, OH, MY

GOD, YES, YES, YES!

A SON, A SON, YOU MEAN A KING.

ALL NEAL TO THE ONE TRUE KING.

NEAL FOR GOD'S SAKE.

(TRUMPET FANFARE).

THIS BLESSED NEWS.

IT CAME AFTER A LONG DAY OF

AWAITING WORD FROM ST. MARY'S

HOSPITAL AS THE ROYAL LAD

SEEMINGLY PROLONGING LABOR,

PERHAPS SENSING THAT THIS WAS

THE ONLY KIND OF LABOR THAT HE

WOULD EVER BE INVOLVED IN.

WE WILL HAVE FULL TEAM COVERAGE

ON THIS TOMORROW NIGHT.

BUT LET ME JUST GIVE YOU A

LITTLE TASTE OF WHAT CURRENTLY

IS OUT THERE.

>> THIS IS HOW BRILLIANT A ROYAL

KATE IS.

THERE ARE WOMEN THROUGHOUT

BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY HISTORY

THAT HAVE PANICKED OVER NOT

BEING ABLE TO DELIVER A BOY.

HERE WE ARE.

KATE DID IT FIRST TIME.

>> John: WHAT?

WHAT?

YOU ARE AWARE THAT SHE IS

MARRIED TO PRINCE WILLIAM AND

NOT CARL DROGO, AREN'T YOU?

WHAT WOULD YOUR RESPONSE HAVE

BEEN IF IT HAD BEEN A GIRL?

DAM NATION UPON YOUR CURSED

WOMAN.

SHE PRODUCED A BABY OF THE

WEAKER

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