American Leaker Story - Asylum

  • Aired:  07/22/13
  •  | Views: 32,602

Edward Snowden's Moscow airport staycation enters its endgame. (2:51)

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> John: WELCOME BACK TO THE

SHOW.

TIME NOW TO CHECK IN WITH

EVERYONE'S FAVORITE FREQUENT

NON-FLYER, EDWARD SNOWDEN WHO

WAS LAST SEEN AT THE MOSCOW

AIRPORT SUBSISTING ENTIRELY ON

DUTY FREE FOOD.

BUT SNOWDEN'S AIRPORT VACATION

MIGHT BE COMING TO AN END.

>> SNOWDEN'S LAWYERS SAY HE

COULD LEAVE THE AIRPORT IN THE

NEXT FEW DAYS AFTER SOME

PAPERWORK HAS BEEN CLEARED UP.

JUST A FUN FACT.

THE U.S. DOES NOT HAVE AN

EXTRADITION AGREEMENT WITH

RUSSIA.

>> John: FUN FACT?

THAT'S NOT A FUN FACT.

THAT IS PERTINENT INFORMATION.

A FUN FACT WOULD BE MORE LIKE

COWS CAN'T WALK DOWNSTAIRS OR...

THAT'S A FUN FACT.

IF IT'S SOMETHING PEOPLE CARE

ABOUT IT, YOU CAN JUST CALL IT

NEWS.

YOU DON'T NEED TO BE EMBARRASSED

ABOUT REPORTING IT.

ANYWAY, PAPERWORK FOR THE

RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT, I MEAN I'M

GOING TO GUESS THAT THAT IS A

COMPLETE NIGHTMARE.

PAGES AND PAGES OF OFFICIAL

DOCUMENTS NOTARIZED AND FILLED

OUT IN TRIPLICATE.

>> SNOWDEN HAS IN FACT APPLIED

FOR TEMPORARY ASYLUM IN RUSSIA.

HE DID SO ON A VERY BRIEF

REQUEST, INFORMAL TO SAY THE

LEAST, HANDWRITTEN BECAUSE HIS

LAWYER SAID THIS WOULD LOOK MORE

CONVINCING.

>> John: MORE CONVINCING?

IS HIS LAURA TEN-YEAR-OLD GIRL?

... IS HIS LAWYER A TEN-YEAR-OLD

GIRL?

CAN I HAVE ASYLUM PLEASE?

CHECK YES.

IT SEEMS THAT EDWARD SNOWDEN

MIGHT BE ON HIS WAY SOMEWHERE

SOON.

THE QUESTION IS, WHERE?

>> SNOWDEN HAS BEEN OFFERED

REFUGE IN VENEZUELA, NICARAGUA

AND BOLIVIA.

>> John: BY COINCIDENCE THOSE

ARE THE EXACT THREE COUNTRIES I

WOULD NAME IF ASKED WHAT COUNTRY

WOULD YOU NOT LEAVE A RUSSIAN

AIRPORT BATHROOM FOR?

LET'S NOT GET AHEAD OF

OURSELVES.

FIRST HE HAS TO GET OUT OF

RUSSIA.

WHAT DOES PRESIDENT PUTIN PLAN

TO DO WITH SNOWDEN?

>> John: HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

BRING ME HIS BALLS ON A PLATTER

SO THAT I MAY PLAY WITH THEM.

OH, SNOW DEP, WHY DID YOU SEEK

ASYLUM IN A COUNTRY RUN BY AN

ACTUAL VILLAIN?

BECAUSE BETWEEN THE EVIL LAUGH

AND THE UNDERWATER ESCAPE POD,

ALL HE'S MISSING IS A... AND

THAT IS AN ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPH.

YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE,

SNOWDEN.

WE'LL BE RIGHT

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