Shutstorm 2013: America Sits on Its Balls - Smokey the Bear

  • Aired:  10/03/13
  •  | Views: 159,711

Federal employee and American icon Smokey the Bear weathers the government shutdown. (3:11)

YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN'T-- ICAN'T EVEN STAND TO TALK

ABOUT THERE ANY MORE FOR THESAKE OF MY SANITY AND THE

SAKE OF YOUR SANITY.

LET'S STOP TALKING ABOUT ITAND GO OUT TO A LONG TIME

FEDERAL EMPLOYEE WHO HASSEEN THE EFFECTS OF THIS

SHUTDOWN FIRSTHAND.

LET'S GO ASK HIM NOW.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, THANKYOU VERY MUCH FOR JOINING US

MR. BEAR, WE APPRECIATE IT.

>> JONNY, I'M HUGE FAN OFYOURS, PLEASE, BY THE WAY,

CALL ME SMOKEY.

>> Jon: THANK YOU, SMOKEY,LISTEN, I CAN'T HELP BUT

NOTICE THAT THIS COUNTRY'SMOST BELOVED FIRE SAFETY

SPOKESBEAR IS SMOKING.

>> WELL, JON, YOU KNOW, I'MNOT REALLY ON THE JOB RIGHT

NOW, AM I, HUH?

(LAUGHTER)>> AND BY THE WAY I HAVE

TO SAY I'M YOU'RE LUCKY I'M EVENWEARING THESE STUPID MOM

JEANS THEY PUT ME IN, HUH?

>> Jon: LET ME ASK YOU THIS,SMOKEY, HAS THE SHUTDOWN

BEEN DIFFICULT FOR YOU?

>> LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU'RE ASKING ME IF IT'SHARD TO GET LAID OFF OF A

JOB I'VE HELD SINCE 19-FRICKING-44, IS THAT WHAT

YOU ARE ASKING ME.

>> I THINK THAT IS WHAT I AMASKING.

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.

>> Jon: OF COURSE.

>> DO I [BLEEP] IN THE WOODS,THAT IS THE QUESTION, JON,

DO I?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Jon: I ACTUALLY, I --

>> ACTUALLY JON LET ME STOP YOUI ACTUALLY HAVE A

WINNEBAGOBUT SPOILER ALERT, MOST

BEARS DO [BLEEP] IN THEWOODS.

THE POINT IS, JON, I'M VERYUP SET RIGHT NOW, VERY UP

SET.

>> Jon: I UNDERSTAND, BUTLISTEN ARE YOU STILL A

HEALTHY BEAR WAY LONG RESUME YOU OUGHT TO BE ABLE

TO FIND A TEMPORARY JOBPRETTY EASILY, I WOULD

THINK.

>> YEAH, BELIEVE IT OR NOT IHAVE BEEN LOOKING ON

CRAIGSLIST A LITTLE BIT.

THEY GOT A LOT OF GUYS ONTHERE LOOKING FOR BEARS.

>> Jon: YEAH, I DON'T-- IDON'T-- AND I'M NOT-- I'M

NOT SURE THAT THAT IS THEJOB THAT YOU ARE --

>> WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

IT SAYS LOOKING FOR BEARS,WHAT ELSE COULD THAT MEAN?

I MEAN IS THERE ANY OTHERWAY TO INTERPRET LOOKING FOR

BEARS?

>> Jon: THERE IS ASUBCULTURE OF MEN OUT

THERE --.

>> LISTEN, LISTEN, IT'S THEEASIEST MONEY I'VE EVER MADE

IN MY LIFE.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, IUNDERSTAND.

I DON'T-- YOU KNOW WHAT, IDON'T NEED THE DETAILS, IT'S

FINE.

>> LISTEN, JON, LOOK, WHAT IAM SAYING IS THIS IN CASE

ANYONE IS UNCLEAR, I SMOKEYTHE BEAR.

>> Jon: YES>> BELOVED AMERICAN ICON

HAVE BEEN GIVINGHANDJOBS FOR MONEY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Jon: LISTEN,.

>> THIS HAS BEEN REAL FUN,I HAD A BLAST.

>> Jon: TAKE CARE, WHOA,WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, HEY, COME

BACK HERE, YOU JUST THREW ALIT CIGARETTE-- YOU, SMOKEY

THE BEAR ARE GOING TO THROWA LIT CIGARETTE ON THE

GROUND.

>> OH, YOU WANT ME TO GO PUTTHAT OUT.

HOW ABOUT THIS, [BLEEP] YOU,PAY ME, JON, ALL RIGHT?

>> Jon: SMOKEY THE BEAR,EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT

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