Sodomy! Zygotes! Welfare!

  • Aired:  04/09/13
  •  | Views: 42,409

Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli files an appeal to keep the state's anti-sodomy laws on the books. (4:33)

Captioning sponsored by COMEDY CENTRAL

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW." MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE HAVE ONE FOR YOU TONIGHT.

VERY, VERY, VERY PLEASING SHOW.

FORMER PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER IS JOINING US IN WHAT I ASSUME IS A LATE NIGHT COMEDY FIRST.

WE'RE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT GUINEA WORMS.

THEY ARE LIKE THE GUMMY WORM THAT EATS YOU.

[ LAUGHTER ]

COMEDY GOLD!

[LAUGHTER]

LATELY, IF YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING THE TELEVISION OR READING THE NEWSPAPERS, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED

THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT THANKS TO DEAD LOCK IN INERTIA AND WHAT MANY ANALYSTS ARE CALLING

FATHEADEDNESS IS NOT REALLY DOING ANYTHING WHEN IT COMES TO GOVERNING, YEAH GOVERNING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT THE STATES ARE PICKING UP THE SLACK.

YES, THE METH LABORATORIES OF DEMOCRACY ARE HARD AT WORK TACKLING ALL OF OUR NATION'S

MOST IMPORTANT AND PRESSING ISSUES AS WE SEE IN OUR STATE LAWS ROUND-UP.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OH, YEAH!

LET'S PUT UP THE BIG BOARD!

[LAUGHTER]

LET'S DO IT.

[ LAUGHTER.

LAUGH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YES, VIRGINIA AND SODOMY BECAUSE V.A. IS FOR LOVERS OF MISSIONARY POSITION.

[LAUGHTER]

>> THE REPUBLICAN NOMINEE FOR GOVERNOR IN VIRGINIA HAS COME OUT AGAINST ORAL SEX AND ANAL

SEX, NOT JUST THE GAY KIND, THE MARRIED CONSENTING ADULT VARIETY AS WITH THE.

>> Jon: WAIT, WHAT?

WAIT, THERE'S A MARRIED ADULT ORAL SEX VARIETY?

AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE?

MARRIED PEOPLE KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, SNRIET SODOMY I WOULD SETTLE FOR SOME GAMORAH AT

THIS POINT.

THAT GUY DOESN'T KNOW.

SHE DOESN'T EITHER BUT THOSE THREE.

SERIOUSLY LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL INNING IN.

THE WORD NEEDS MORE OF IT.

GOD BLESS.

GET HOME SAFER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[LAUGHTER]

THAT WAS WEIRD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

SO CURRENT VIRGINIA ATTORNEY GENERAL KEN PUCINELL CIRCUMSTANCES NOT A FAN OF SODOMY.

HE IS A MEAN -- PENILE TRADITIONALIST HE LIKES HIS SEX LIKE HIS COFFEE, HOT, BLACK AND

EXCLUSIVELY IN THE HAVE NINEA.

AND NOW JIMMY CARTER AND THE GUINEA WORM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT VIRGINIA'S SODOMY LAWS WERE STRUCK DOWN BY THE COURT WHAT IS KUCH DOING TO DO ABOUT IT.

>> HE FILED AN AFEEL KEEP VIRGINIA'S SODOMY LAWS ON THE BOOKS.

>> Jon: THAT LAW IS REINSTATEELED.

I GUESS ONLY OUTLAWS WILL GET (bleep) JOBS.

PIPE DOWN.

THE ONLY WAY TO STOP A BAD GUY IS WITH A (bleep).

[ LAUGHTER ]

THE GUY GUYS (bleep) -- THE GOOD GUYS (bleep) AND NOW CURING EBOLA, THE FORMER PRESIDENT -- CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

THAT WOULD MAKE FOR AWKWARD PRISON CELL MATE CONVERSATION.

WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?

>> SODOMY.

>> REALLY?

[LAUGHTER]

INTERESTING.

I'M IN FOR -- I MEAN TAX FRAUD.

HE WANTS TO USE THE SODOMY LAWS AS A LOOPHOLE TO PROSECUTE SOMEONE WHO HAD SEX WITH A MINOR.

WHILE SODOMY IS TECHNICALLY ILLEGAL UNDER VIRGINIA LAW SEX WITH A 15-YEAR-OLD IS FINE.

IT'S A COMPLICATED --

>> KUCHINELLI'S NICKNAME IS THE

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