Glazed and Confused

  • Aired:  08/09/11
  •  | Views: 356,993

If Newsweek wants a photo that makes Michele Bachmann seem a little off, they should make one out of her words. (3:56)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

NOW, AS WE HAVE RECENTLY

DOCUMENTED ON THIS VERY PROGRAM,

THERE IS NOTHING THAT THE RIGHT

ENJOYS MORE IN THIS COUNTRY THAN

COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS

FOR THEM TO ENJOY BEING IN THIS

COUNTRY.

>> THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA HOLDS

CONSERVATIVES TO DIFFERENT

STANDARDS THAN THEIR LIBERAL

COLLEAGUES.

>> THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA WANTS TO

BLAME THE REPUBLICANS.

>> IT SEEMS THE MEDIA IS WAGING

A WAR AGAINST CONSERVATIVE

WOMEN.

>> SCIENTIFIC PROOF THAT THE

MAINSTREAM LIBERAL MEDIA IS

BLATANTLY LIBERAL IN ITS BIAS.

(AUDIENCE REACTS).

>> Jon: CONSERVATIVES HATE THE

LIBERAL MEDIA SO MUCH THEY'RE

EVEN WILLING TO ACCEPT AN

ARGUMENT BASED ON SCIENCE!

(LAUGHTER)

AND YOU KNOW, THE WORST PART

ABOUT WHEN THE RIGHT COMPLAINS

ABOUT THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA?

WHEN THEIR ARGUMENT CONTAINS A

KERNEL OF TRUTH.

UGH!

CASE IN POINT, THIS WEEK'S

"NEWSWEEK" COVER WHICH SEEMS TO

HAVE CAPTURED MINNESOTA

CONGRESSWOMAN'S...

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

MICHELE BACHMANN AT THE EXACT

MOMENT SHE SEES THE AMAZING

REVOLTO TURN HIS HAT INTO A

DOVE.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S AMAZING!

WHEN DO WE START THE PHOTO

SHOOT?

(LAUGHTER)

LOOK, "NEWSWEEK," "NEWSWEEK"...

(LAUGHTER).

THAT'S A (BLEEP)Y PICTURE OF

MICHELE BACHMANN.

AND CLEARLY NOT AN ACCIDENTALLY

BLEEPY PICTURE OF MICHELE

BACHMANN.

BECAUSE YOU CAN SAY A LOT OF

THINGS ABOUT MICHELE BACHMANN--

A LOT OF THINGS--

(LAUGHTER)

BUT HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN'T SAY

ABOUT MICHELE BACHMANN: THAT SHE

IS NOT PHOTOGENIC.

I MEAN, LOOK AT HER.

HERE SHE IS INSIDE.

HERE SHE IS OUTSIDE.

JESUS, THAT COULD BE A SHAMPOO

AD!

(LAUGHTER)

HERE SHE IS SCREAMING INTO A

BULLHORN AND MAKING IT LOOK

ATTRACTIVE.

(LAUGHTER)

MY POINT IS YOU'VE GOT TO GO

PRETTY FAR OUT OF YOUR WAY TO

FIND A CRAPPY PHOTO OF MICHELE

BACHMANN.

AND YOU DID.

(LAUGHTER)

WHY?

>> IN A STATEMENT, "NEWSWEEK"

EDITOR TINA BROWN SAID MICHELE

BACHMANN'S INTENSITY IS

GALVANIZING VOTERS IN IOWA RIGHT

NOW.

AND "NEWSWEEK'S" COVER CAPTURES

THAT.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Jon: NO, NO.

NO IT DOESN'T.

THAT'S NOT A "I'M GALVANIZING

THE VOTERS IN IOWA" PICTURE.

I LOOK AT THAT PICTURE AND THINK

"ISN'T THAT A LITTLE SOON TO BE

DOING A FEMALE REMAKE OF THE

40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN"?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THAT'S NOT A NICE PICTURE.

I MEAN, I GET IT, "NEWSWEEK".

YOU PUT IN "THE QUEEN OF RAGE"

JUXTAPOSED WITH A PICTURE OF A

LADY THAT APPEARS TO BE

ENCHANTED BY SIMPLE MATH BEING

HUNG ON A BLACK BOARD.

OR MAYBE IT'S A CHILD THINKING

OF PIGS.

BUT BE HONEST, "NEWSWEEK", YOU

USED THAT PHOTO IN A PETTY

ATTEMPT TO MAKE MICHELE BACHMANN

LOOK CRAZY.

AND THAT'S WHAT HER WORDS ARE

FOR!

(LAUGHTER)

IF YOU'RE INVOLVED IN A GAY AND

LESBIAN LIFE-STYLE IT'S BONDAGE,

IT'S A VERY SAD LIFE.

IT'S PART OF SATAN, I THINK, TO

SAY THIS IS GAY.

OR "I WISH THE AMERICAN MEDIA

WOULD TAKE A LOOK AT THE VIEWS

OF THE PEOPLE IN CONGRESS AND

FIND OUT ARE THEY PRO AMERICA OR

ANTI-AMERICA?"

OR "I BELIEVE THERE'S A STRONG

CHANCE WE WILL SEE YOUNG PEOPLE

PUT INTO MANDATORY SERVICE.

AND THE REAL CONCERN IS THAT

THERE ARE PROVISIONS FOR WHAT I

WOULD CALL RE-EDUCATION CAMPS

FOR YOUNG PEOPLE."

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

YOU WANT A PHOTO THAT MAKES HER

SEEM A LITTLE OFF?

MAKE IT OUT OF HER WORDS!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SO I SAY SHAME ON YOU!

SHAME ON YOU, "NEWSWEEK" AND

YOUR EDITOR TINA BROWN.

NO, TOO GLAMOROUS.

YEAH, GETTING THERE.

THAT'S

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