Let's Go Exile! - Hosni Mubarak

  • Aired:  01/31/11
  •  | Views: 93,751

If France is too close to The Hague for Hosni Mubarak's tastes, he might enjoy another exile hot spot, the Arabian Peninsula. (3:27)

NOW?

I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

HOSNI, YOU'VE BEEN EGYPT'S

DICTATOR FOR 30 YEARS NOW.

NOW THE PEOPLE HAVE ISSUED A,

LET'S SAY, LAST CALL.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME BUT

YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.

IN FACT YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T

GO TO YOUR HOME.

THEY'RE PROBABLY THINKING OF

LIGHTING IT ON FIRE.

NOW YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

HOSNI, LET US HELP YOU OUT

WITH OUR NEW SEGMENT.

IT'S TIME.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

STAY?

MOVE TO 10:00 HOPING NINE

MONTHS THE SAME PEOPLE WHO

KICKED YOU OUT ASK YOU TO COME

BACK?

EVEN MOBS DON'T MISMANAGE

THINGS THAT BADLY.

SO LET'S LOOK AT YOUR OPTIONS.

WELL, WITH ITS VIBRANT

DICTATOR TOURISM INDUSTRY,

FRANCE HAS ATTRACTED AN

ECLECTIC EX-PAT COMMUNITY FROM

CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC'S

JEAN-BEDEL BOW KAS A, TO

TUNISIA'S RECENTLY OUSTED

PRESIDENT BEN ALI.

THE FRENCH MAY HAVE

GUILLOTINED THEIR OWN TYRANTS

BUT EVERY ELSE IS INVITED TO

HAVE CAKE.

NOW THAT BABY DOC DUVALIER IS

GIVING HAITI A SHOT, PERHAPS

FRANCE IS TOO WESTERN AND TOO

CLOSE TO THE HAGUE FOR YOUR

TASTES.

PERHAPS YOU'D ENJOY ANOTHER

EXILE HOT SPOT, THE ARABIAN

PENINSULA.

WHERE THERE ARE PLENTY OF ARAB

DICTATORS WAITING TO BEFRIEND

YOU.

MOST OF THEM STILL IN POWER.

PLAY HANDBALL IN IDI AMIN'S

PRIVATE COURT.

BASQUE YEAR ROUND IN THE

NATION'S 90 TO 140 DEGREE

TEMPERATURES.

WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T GO HOME

AGAIN OTHER THAN OBVIOUSLY THE

PEOPLE OF EGYPT THAT KICKED

YOU OUT.

HEAD TO DUBAI'S MAN MADE WORLD

ISLAND'S ARCHIPELAGO.

FIND OUT WHO IS REPRESENTING

THE EGYPT-SHAPED ISLAND AND

STAGE YOUR OWN MINI-COUPS.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

COME ON, HOS KNEE.

I KNOW YOU'RE THINKING, I LOVE

THE FRENCH LANGUAGE.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

BUT I ALSO LOVE THE OPPRESSIVE

HEAT OF THE ARABIAN PENINSULA.

WELL WITH A LITTLE SMART

PLANNING, YOU CAN PITCH A TENT

IN SENEGAL WHERE YOU CAN

CELEBRATE RAMADAN WITH CHAD'S

FORMER DICTATOR HISSENE HABRE

WHILE BASQUING IN A POOL OF

YOUR OWN SWEAT.

YES, SENEGAL.

WHERE THE NATIONAL LANGUAGE IS

FRENCH AND THE NATIONAL

DISEASE IS YELLOW FEVER WITH A

TOUCH OF MOSQUITO BORN

LEPROSY.

BUT IF YOU'RE STILL NOT READY

TO RETIRE AT THE VIGOROUS

YOUNG AGE OF 82 AND YOU WANT

TO STAY ACTIVE THERE IS AN

EXCITING CASTING OPPORTUNITY

I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT.

IT'S A CHANCE TO LIVE IN EXILE

AND COMPETE FOR BIG CASH

PRIZES ON NEXT SEASON'S BIG

BROTHER BIG BROTHER EDITION.

WHEN FIVE DEPOSED DICTATORS

AND AMAROSA FIND OUT WHAT

CONSTANT SURVEILLANCE FEELS

LIKE ON THE RECEIVING END.

YOU CAN EVEN SHARE A ROOM WITH

YOUR NEIGHBOR, MOAMMAR

QADDAFI.

OOPS.

HE HASN'T BEEN OVERTHROWN.

YET.

YOU SEE, MR. SOON TO BE

EX-PRESIDENT LOTS OF GOOD

THINGS AWAIT YOU IN THIS NEW

CHAPTER OF YOUR LIFE.

SO PACK YOUR BAGS.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

(BEEP) IT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO

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