Chensanity - Clinton Flies to the Rescue

  • Aired:  05/03/12
  •  | Views: 11,194

Following the diplomatic precedent Bill Clinton set for dissidents living in dictatorships, John Oliver demonstrates the best-case Clinton rescue scenario. (2:42)

>> Jon: I WISH THERE WAS AN APP TO UNHEAR THAT.

FOR MORE WE ARE JOINED BY BEIJING BUREAU CHIEF JOHN OLVER, THANKS FOR JOINING US.

(APPLAUSE) JOHN, IN THIS SITUATION,

OBVIOUSLY SECRETARY OF STATE CLINTON REALLY HAS HER HANDS FULL OVER THERE.

>> OF COURSE SHE HAS, JON.

AND WE ALL KNOWS WHO'S TO BLAME.

>> Jon: ACTUALLY, I DON'T.

>> SERIOUSLY?

LET ME JUST GIVE YOU A HINT,

JON.

HE'S ABOUT YEAH HIGH, PLAYS THE SACKS, FEELS YOUR PAIN.

>> Jon: THE CRYPTKEEPER.

>> NO.

>> Jon: IS THAT YOUR BILL CLINTON IMPRESSION.

>> YES, IT'S MY BILL CLINTON IMPRESSION IT'S EXTREMELY GOOD, YOUR QUEEN ELIZABETH

IS BRILLIANT.

>> Jon: HELLO!

HELLO!

HELLO!

>> THAT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

USE THAT SOUND IN A SENTENCE.

>> Jon: HELLO YOU [BLEEP]

WAD.

>> OKAY TLARX IS PRETTY GOOD,

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

>> Jon: EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THIS IS BILL CLINTON'S FAULT?

>> HE SET THE BAR, JON.

PERHAPS YOU RECALL A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO WHEN HE FREED THOSE TWO JOURNALISTS BY

SINGLE-HANDEDLY PLUCKING THEM OUT OF NORTH KOREA.

>> Jon: I REMEMBER THAT, A DIPLOMATIC TRIUMPH.

>> NO THAT WAS A DANGEROUS DIPLOMATIC PRECEDENT.

WORD GOT AROUND.

IF ARE YOU BEING REPRESSED BY AN EVIL COMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP JUST GET ON TV AND A CLINTON WILL

PERSONALLY FLY TO YOUR RESCUE.

IF NOT BILL AND HIS JET,

THEN HILLARY ON HER STATE DEPARTMENT PLANE.

IF NOT HER, MAYBE CHELSEA AND A SINGLE ENGINE CESSNA.

WORST CASE SCENARIO YOU GET ROGER.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT, WELL YOU BE CAREFUL IN BEIJING.

HOW ARE YOU GETTING OUT THERE.

>> WELL, HOPEFULLY WITH THE BEST CASE CLINTON SCENARIO GETTING PICKED UP IN THE

MOTHERSHIP, JON.

>> Jon: ARE YOU NOT GOING TO GET PICKED UP IN GEORGE CLINTON'S MOTHERSHIP.

>> OH REALLYING WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, WE?

>> Jon: STOP IT!

THERE'S NO WAY.

>> NO WAY, NO WAY.

>> THAT IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

>> GEORGE CLINTON.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, I IN GEORGE'S MOTHERSHIP, BEAM US UP.

♪ WE 2K3W09 FUJ ♪ ♪ WE GOT THE FUNK ♪ ♪.

>> JON, I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW MINUTES.

THIS IS AWESOME ♪ ♪.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT,

MR. GEORGE CLINTON.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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