Shutstorm 2013: America Sits on Its Balls - Web Site Down

  • Aired:  10/07/13
  •  | Views: 74,471

Americans will camp out all night to be the first people to buy a phone or see a movie about shirtless werewolves, but prove less patient when it comes to health care. (3:29)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE HAVE A GOOD ONE FOR YOUTONIGHT.

OH, YEAH.

WORKING ON A FINE PROGRAMTONIGHT.

OUR GUEST TONIGHT THE SECRETARYOF OBAMACARE AND HUMAN

OBAMACARES KATHLEEN OBAMACARE.

[ LAUGHTER ]OF COURSE, THE DISCUSSION OVER

OBAMACARE AND ITS EFFECTS ISCOMPLETELY APROPOS AS WE CHECK

IN ON DAY SEVEN OF OUR SADLYONGOING COVERAGE OF.

♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHILE MANY OF US HAVE BEENFOCUSING ON LAST WEEK'S TOTALLY

NECESSARY NONASSININE BOTHPARTIES ARE EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE

FOR THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN THEGALAXY DESTROYING DARK FORCE

KNOWN AS OBAMACARE WAS UNLEASHEDON AN UNSUSPECTING AND

YET STILL TRUSTING WORLD.

HOW DID IT GO?

[SCREAMING]JUST AS I THOUGHT!

[LAUGHTER]OBAMACARE HAS EXPLODED THE CHEST

CAVITIES OF MILLIONS OFAMERICANS.

[ LAUGHTER ]REALLY IF YOU PUT LITTLE CUTE

EARS ON THAT THAT COULD BE AFRENCH BULLDOG.

[LAUGHTER]HOW DID THE OPENING OF OBAMACARE

HEALTH EXCHANGES REALLY GO?

>> WEB SITES WERE SLOW ORCRASHED ALTOGETHER.

>> THE MAIN PAGE WENT FROM APPLYNOW TO THIS PLEASE WAIT.

>> STILL HAVING PROBLEMS WITHDROP-DOWN MENUS AND THINGS

TIMING OUT.

>> I TRIED TO GET ONHEALTHCARE.GOV.

THIS SITE HAS BEEN DOWNPARTIALLY ALL WEEKEND.

P>> NBC TRIED ENROLLING BUT THESYSTEM

WASN'T BUDGING BUT SHECALLED CUSTOMER SERVICE.

>> THIS IS 15 MINUTES NOW.

I ALMOST SPENT 20 MINUTES ONTHE PHONE NOW.

>> Jon: NAILED IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]WHOOHOO.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHTABOUT THIS COUNTRY: WE

WILL CAMP OUT ALL NIGHT TO BETHE FIRST PEOPLE TO BUY A PHONE

OR SEE A MOVIE ABOUT SHIRTLESSWEREWOLVES BUT YOU HAVE 10

MINUTES TO GET ME THIS (bleep)HEALTH CARE.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'MTALKING ABOUT?

[LAUGHTER][CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OBVIOUSLY WE MUST HAVE BEEN --LET'S BE FAIR, THEY MUST HAVE

LEBEEN INCREDIBLY OVERWHELMEDBECAUSE

WE KNOW THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATIONIS THE MOST TECH SAVVY

ADMINISTRATION IN HISTORY.

STOP SENDING ME E-MAILS.

[LAUGHTER]AND KNOWING THAT, THE OBAMA

ADMINISTRATION HAD THREE YEARSTO SET UP THE WEB ENROLLMENT FOR

THE PRESIDENT'S CENTERPIECELEGISLATIVE ACHIEVEMENT.

YOU KNOW OBAMA MUST HAVE HAD THETECH END BUTTONED UP.

THAT WOULD BE LIKE IF LINCOLNDIDN'T BOTHER PROOFING THE

EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION ANDENDED

UP FREEING THE DAVES, SURE GOODNEWS FOR ANY SLAVE NAMED DAVE.

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