Back in Black - Action Stars & Gun Control

  • Aired:  02/12/13
  •  | Views: 86,891

Lewis Black wonders why we are asking random celebrities about gun control when we should be asking more qualified people -- our action heroes. (5:20)

>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

WHEN A NEWS STORY FALLS THROUGH THE CRACKS, LEWIS BLACK COVERS IT FOR A SEGMENT WE CALL "BLACK

IN BLACK -- BACK IN BLACK."

>> THE GUN DEBATE HAS BEEN RAGING FOR A LONG TIME.

IT'S HARD TO SAY WHEN IT STARTED BUT I'M GOING TO GO WITH RIGHT AROUND THE INVENTION OF THE GODS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND EVERYBODY HAS AN OPINION INCLUDING AMERICA'S FOREMOST EXPERTS ON THE SUBJECT, OUR CELEBRITIES.

AND THEY ARE CHIMING IN FROM BOTH THE LEFT AND THE RIGHT.

>> I'M A GOOD NEIGHBOR, I HAVE A NICE CLEAN BORDERLINE BUT IF YOU CROSS IT I'LL KILL YOU.

>> NOTE TO SELF, CROSS OLD MAN NUGENT'S PLACE OFF MY GIRL SCOUT COOKIE DELIVERY LIST.

WHY ARE WE ASKING RANDOM CELEBRITIES ABOUT THIS ISSUE ANYWAY WHEN WE SHOULD BE ASKING

MORE QUALIFIED PEOPLE, OUR ACTION HEROS.

>> SYLVESTER STALLONE NOW SUPPORTS A NEW FEDERAL ASSAULT WEAPONS BAN SAYING QUOTE "LIKE

REALLY UNLESS YOU ARE CARRYING OUT AN ASSAULT, YOU CAN'T HUNT WITH IT WHO IS GOING TO ATTACK

YOUR HOUSE AN EXPLETIVE ARMY.

>> A WHAT ARMY?

A (bleep) ARMY, AN ASS-WIPE ARMY?

IS IT A PENIS ARMY?

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE IF A PENIS ARMY IS ATTACKING MY HOUSE, I WANT TO KNOW.

TRUST ME, I KNOW ALL THEIR WEAK SPOTS.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BUT KUDOS TO STALLONE FOR SPEAKING OUT AGAINST GUNS, AND BY THE WAY DON'T MISS HIS NEW

MOVIE "BULLET TO THE HEAD" IN THEATERS NOW.

IT'S LIKE RHINESTONE BUT WITH BULLETS TO THE HEAD.

BUT SYLVESTER STALLONE ISN'T THE ONLY ACTOR PROMOTING A NEW MOVIE WHO HAS VIEWS ON GUN CONTROL.

>> I THINK THAT YOU CAN'T START TO PICK APART ANY OF -- ANYTHING OUT OF THE BILL OF RIGHTS

WITHOUT THINKING THAT IT'S ALL GOING BE BECOME UNDONE.

IF YOU TAKE ONE OUT OR CHANGE ONE LAW THEN WHY WOULDN'T THEY TAKE ALL YOUR RIGHTS AWAY FROM YOU.

>> RIGHT, IN THE SAME WAY IF YOU TAKE AWAY DIE HARD 2, DIE HARD 3 IS JUST A CONFUSING SERIES OF EXPLOSIVES.

SO THAT'S ONE FOR, ONE AGAINST, ANY OTHER ACTION STARS WANT TO STEP UP AND SETTLE THIS?

>> HI, I'M CHUCK NORRIS A BLACK BELT PATE ROVMENT IF SOME THUG BREAKS INTO MY HOME, CAN I USE

ANY ROUNDHOUSE KICK BUT I PREFER TO USE THE BARREL OF MY GUN.

>> JUST TO BE CLEAR ACCORDING TO CHUCK NORRIS HE COULD USE THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO PROTECT HIS

OWN BUT HE PREFERS TO SHOOT A MAN IN THE FACE.

BY THE WAY, CHUCK, YOU ARE 72 YEARS OLD.

AT THIS POINT THE MOST LETHAL PART OF THE ROUNDHOUSE KICK IS THE FART THAT COMES OUT WHEN YOU

LIFT YOUR LEG.

[LAUGHTER]

HOW DID CHUCK NORRIS SNEAK INTO THIS DEBATE ANYWAY?

CAN WE GO ANY FURTHER DOWN ON THE ACTION STAR FOOD CHAIN?

>> RIGHT NOW WE HAVE ARMED GUNS AT JEWELRY STORES AND ALL KINDS OF OTHER ESTABLISHMENTS THAT

HAVE MONEY.

BUT THE GREATEST TREASURE WE HAVE IS OUR CHILDREN.

>> I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS BUT STEVEN SEAGAL'S OLDER, FATTER ISRAELI BROTHER IS RIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HOW DOES HE SUGGEST WE SAVE OUR CHILDREN?

>> ACTOR STEVEN SEAGAL IS A TRAINED WEAPONS EXPERT AND LAW ENFORCEMENT VETERAN OF 20 YEARS.

TODAY HE HELPED SHERIFF JOE ARPAIO AND THE MARICOPA COUNTY SWAT TEAM TRAIN VOLUNTEER POSSE

MEMBERS TO TAKE DOWN AN ACTIVE GUNMAN IN A SIM LIGHTED SHOOTING.

>> STEVEN SEAGAL, SHERIFF JOE ARPAIO, AN UNTRAINED POSSE, WHAT COULD GO RIGHT?

I SUPPOSE EVERYBODY IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OPINION BUT IN THE END THEY ARE DOING WHAT ENTERTAINERS

DO BEST, PROVIDING US WITH A PLEASANT DISTRACTION FROM THE FACT THAT OUR ACTUAL LAWMAKERS

AREN'T DOING (bleep) ABOUT THIS PROBLEM.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

IN THE MEANTIME, IF SOME THUG BREAKS INTO MY HOUSE, I'M GOING TO DEAL WITH IT THE SAME WAY I

ALWAYS DO, BY HIDING UNDER MY COVERS AND PRETENDING I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH.

JANN?

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