The Born Identity

  • Aired:  07/22/09
  •  | Views: 568,935

Barack Obama is not only the United States' first black president -- he's also the first not-American president. (8:19)

>> Jon: HEY, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WHAT A SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

ACTOR, COMEDIAN, ALCHEMIST KEVIN

NEALON IS OUR GUEST.

CURRENTLY APPEARING IN THE HIT

SHOW "WEEDS."

A GARDENING PROGRAM.

A GOOD SHOW ABOUT GARDENING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LET'S BEGIN TONIGHT WITH A LOOK

BACK.

BARACK OBAMA HAS BEEN PRESIDENT

NOW FOR SIX MONTHS.

SIX MONTHS HE HAS BEEN PRESIDENT

AND THE FAIRIES THAT WE WERE

SURE WOULD RIDE IN ON HIS WINGS

AND SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS HAVE

YET TO MATERIALIZE.

WHERE ARE THE WORLD FIXING

FAIRIES OBAMA?

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOT THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE AN

AMBITIOUS AGENDA, HEALTH CARE,

CLIMATE CHANGE, TWO WARS, THE

ECONOMY.

YOU CAN IMAGINE WHAT IS

EVERYONE'S TOPIC NUMBER ONE ON

THIS ANNIVERSARY.

>> THE ISSUE OF BARACK OBAMA'S

BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

>> QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS PLACE OF

BIRTH.

>> SOME BELIEVE HE IS NOT

ELIGIBLE TO BE PRESIDENT.

>> NOT BORN IN THE U.S.A.

>> THE CONTROVERSY LIVES ON

ESPECIALLY ON THE INTERNET.

>> Jon: IT'S ON THE INTERNET?

[ LAUGHTER ]

THEN IT MUST BE CREDIBLE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LIKE THESE PICTURES I FOUND THAT

PROVE THE POPE IS ACTUALLY

JEWISH.

THAT'S HIS WEDDING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HIS JEWISH WEDDING.

AND YOU THOUGHT HE WAS A NAZI.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOT ONLY IS BARACK OBAMA OUR

FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT.

HE IS OUR FIRST NOT AMERICAN

PRESIDENT.

ONLY IN AMERICA.

[ LAUGHTER ]

ALL RIGHT.

AT FIRST BLUSH -- YOU LIKE THAT?

ALL RIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THEY LOVE THEIR PUNS.

AT FIRST BLUSH THIS THEORY MAY

SOUND CRAZY BUT AS ONE

CONSTITUENT AT A TOWN HALL

MEETING IN DELAWARE HE SHOWS THE

SOUND REASONING.

>> I HAVE HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE

HERE FROM THE UNITED STATES OF

AMERICA SAYING I AM AN AMERICAN

CITIZEN.

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE IGNORING HIS

BIRTH CERTIFICATE?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: YEAH!

[ LAUGHTER ]

SHE'S CRAZY.

WELL, I'M SURE WE'LL GET A MORE

INTELLECTUAL VIEW FROM THE WOMAN

SPEARHEADING THE LAWSUIT

DEMANDING THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

>> HE NEVER PROVIDED HIS BIRTH

CERTIFICATE.

WHEN HE PROVIDED WAS A

CERTIFICATION OF LIVE BIRTH

ISSUED LAST YEAR THAT DOES NOT

HAVE THE NAME OF DOCTOR OR THE

NAME OF THE HOSPITAL OR ANY

SIGNATURES.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW, I THINK THE

LOST GABOR SISTER IS RIGHT.

SHE'S AN ATTORNEY, A DENTIST AND

A REAL ESTATE AGENT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

ARE YOU LOOKING TO HAVE A

BOTCHED ROOT CANAL?

SUE FOR DAMAGES AND THEN USE THE

SETTLEMENT MONEY TO BUY THE

HOUSE OF YOUR DREAMS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IF SO, YOU CAN CALL ME YOUR ONE

STOP SHOP FOR ALL THINGS TOOTH,

LEGAL AND SHELTER RELATED.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

CAN WE JUST GET TO THE BOTTOM OF

THIS?

CAN ANYONE SHOW THE PROOF THAT

OWE BALM KWRAFS BORN HERE.

>> THE THE PRESIDENT'S BIRTH

CERTIFICATE SAYS HE WAS BORN IN

HAWAII.

POLITICAL FACT CHECK WHICH IS A

NONPARTISAN GROUP WENT TO

CHICAGO TO VIEW THE BIRTH

CERTIFICATE.

THEY RELEASED PHOTOS.

THE REPUBLICAN GOVERNOR OF

HAWAII SAID ON RECORD OBAMA WAS

BORN IN HER STATE.

THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH WROTE A

LETTER THAT THE STATE DEPARTMENT

OF HEALTH HAS SENATOR OBAMA'S

BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

WE HAVE A COPY OF NEWSPAPER

AUGUST 13 AND THE HAWAII STAR

BULLETIN 1961 BOTH ANNOUNCING

]'S BIRTH.

>> Jon: AND?

THAT WAS CNN'S KITTY PILGRIM

DOING A THOREAU DEBUNKING OF

THIS SILLINESS ON JULY 17.

SO --

>> A LOT OF QUESTIONS REMAINING

AND SEEMINGLY THE QUESTIONS

WON'T GO AWAY BECAUSE THEY

HAVEN'T BEEN DEALT WITH.

>> Jon: DO YOU EVEN WATCH CNN?

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S YOUR OWN (bleep) NETWORK.

AND THAT WAS KITTY PILGRIM

FILLING IN FOR YOU ON YOUR SHOW!

SHE DEBUNKED THAT THEORY FILLING

IN FOR YOU ON YOUR SHOW, LOU.

I MEAN HER LAST NAME IS PILGRIM,

HOW MUCH MORE AMERICAN CAN SHE

GET?

[ LAUGHTER ]

DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

REMEMBER HOW YOU CAME IN THE

NEXT DAY AFTER SHE HOSTED AND

YOUR SEAT WAS WARM AND DIDN'T

HAVE THE MEAN OLD MAN SMELL

ANYMORE?

[ LAUGHTER ]

FOR (bleep) SAKE, LOU, THE

LOCAL PAPERS IN HAWAII ANNOUNCED

BARACK OBAMA'S OBAMA'S BIRTH

WHAT -- WAIT!

OH, MY GOD.

BARACK OBAMA IS RUNNING THE OLD

KENYAN PRINCE BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT

SCAM.

HERE IS HOW IT GOES.

YOU WANT TO DESTROY AMERICA FROM

THE INSIDE BUT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE

YOU ARE A FOREIGNER.

FIRST, YOU HAVE TO FIND YOURSELF

A GOOD OLD AMERICAN WILLING TO

REPRODUCE WITH YOU.

THEN YOU HAVE THAT CHILD ON

FOREIGN SOIL WHILE

SIMULTANEOUSLY PLACING THE BIRTH

ANNOUNCEMENT OF THAT CHILD IN

ONE OF THE FRINGE STATES LOCAL

NEWSPAPERS.

YOUR HAWAIIS, YOUR ALASKA, YOUR

PENNSYLVANIAS.

I'M KIDDING.

AND THEN --

[ LAUGHTER ]

-- HELD ON.

YOU WAIT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

UNTIL THIS BABY IS A MIDDLE-AGE

THE MAN -- MIDDLE-AGED MAN.

NOW THE TRAP IS SET.

YOU JUST SIT BACK AND LET THAT

CHILD GO OUT AND WIN THE

ELECTION FOR PRESIDENT OF THE

UNITED STATES.

$ ( LAUGHTER) $ --

[ LAUGHTER ]

HERE IS WHERE THE SCAM GETTING

TRICKY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THEY CAN'T JUST WIN THE POPULAR

VOTE.

HE OR SHE MUST ALSO HAVE A

STRATEGY TO WIN THE ELECTORAL

COLLEGE VOTE.

THAT IS WHAT TRIPS UP MOST

DRIFTERS.

IF YOU PULL IT OFF, YOU AND YOUR

PUPPET CHILD CAN JUST SIT BACK

AND DESTROY THE FABRIC OF THE

COUNTRY YOU BOTH HATE SO MUCH.

IT'S ALMOST TOO EASY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

--

[ APPLAUSE ]

WE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S A.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

ABLE ISSUE.

IT'S THE KIND OF ISSUE

REASONABLE PEOPLE DISMISS.

>> A GROUP OF REPUBLICANS ARE

SPONGE A BILL TO RECOGNIZE --

SPONSORING A BILL TO REQUIRE

FUTURE CANDIDATES TO PROVIDE

THEIR BIRTH SERTZ.

ONE OF THOSE IS JOHN CAMPBELL OF

CALIFORNIA.

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT BARACK OBAMA

IS A NATIVE BORN AMERICAN OR

NOT.

>> THAT IS NOT WHAT THAT BILL IS

ABOUT.

>> WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE?

>> AS FAR AS I KNOW, YES.

>> Jon: AS FAR AS I KNOW?

THAT'S ONE OF THOSE PHRASES THAT

LOVES YOU TO DISTANCE YOURSELF

FROM ALLEGATIONS WHILE

EMBRACING.

AS FAR AS I KNOW HE DOESN'T

RECEIVE HIS CAMPAIGN KNOWN

KWRAEUGS FROM DRUG KING ESCOBAR.

I HAVE NO REASON TO BELIEVE

CONGRESSMAN CAMPBELL DOESN'T

SPEND HIS TIME GIVING OUT TUG

JOBS AT A LEGAL REST

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