Exclusive - Bill Maher Extended Interview

  • Aired:  06/23/14
  •  | Views: 129,086

"Real Time with Bill Maher" host Bill Maher discusses immigration, atheism and the New York Mets. (10:02)

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.

MY GUEST TONIGHT, THE HOST OFHBO'S "REAL TIME WITH BILL

MAHER."

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THEPROGRAM BILL MAHER.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: SIR, HOW ARE YOU?

>> I'M GOOD.

I WAS HOPING YOU'D DO A LITTLEMORE CHENEY COUGHING FOR ME,

THOUGH.

I LOVE THAT IMPRESSION.

YOU NAILED, THAT BY THE WAY.

>> Jon: HE HAS PHLEGM.

NOBODY DOES CHENEY PHLEGM LIKECHENEY.

>> DO A LITTLE MORE.

[JON CLEARING HIS THROAT]I LOVE IT.

I LOVE IT.

OH, I TELL YOU. OH MAN,THAT'S...

>> Jon: HE'S TRYING TO GET THEINTELLIGENCE OUT OF HIS...

>> NO, YEAH. YOU DO, THAT'S THEDEFINITIVE CHENEY PHLEGM.

I MEAN, FRED TRAVALENA DOES APRETTY GOOD ONE, BUT...

>> Jon: YEARS AGO, BUT HE'S

DOING AN IMPRESSION OFCHENEY COUGHING.

>> YEAH, EXACTLY.

I'M DOING CHENEY COUGHING.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S SO TRUE.

>> Jon: CAN YOU, CAN YOU,DID YOU EVER IMAGINE THAT

WE WOULD BE SITTING HERE,I DON'T KNOW, 11 YEARS

AFTER INVADING IRAQ.

>> YOU WERE ABLE TO USE THE MESS'O POTAMIA THING AGAIN.

>> Jon: WE THOUGHT WE HADRETIRED IT.

>> THAT REALLY AMORTIZED OVERTIME, DIDN'T IT? BECAUSE YOU GOT

TO PUT IT UP AGAIN AND USE IT.

VERY COST EFFECTIVE.

>> THE MONEY. AND WHEN WERENDERED THAT GRAPHIC BACK THEN,

YOU KNOW, WE HAD TO DO THEGRAPHICS BACK THEN BY HAND.

>> OH OF COURSE.>> Jon: THIS WAS YEARS AGO.

AND WE WOULD DRAW EACH CELL.

WE HAD SOME...

>> YOU'D SEND THEM OUT TO ITALYAND JAPAN.

>> Jon: THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.

WHAT WE WOULD DO IS AN ORIGAMIMOCK UP FIRST OF IT.

AND THEN WE WOULD SEND IT OUT.

>> WHEN I STARTED IN TV WE USEDPUPPETS.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: WHAT?

YOU WERE WITH SID AND MARTYKROFFT ALL THOSE YEARS AGO?

>> YES, YES, THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Jon: YOU REMEMBER THOSESHOWS. I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE.

>> I DO REMEMBER...

>> Jon: LIDSVILLE. BOY, TALKABOUT LEGALIZING POT.

[LAUGHTER]>> I DO, QUITE OFTEN, AND IT

SEEMS TO HAVE WORKED.

>> Jon: WHAT, LET ME ASKYOU A QUESTION. IT HAS WORKED.

CAN YOU POINT TO THAT?

ARE THERE THINGS THAT YOU HAVEADVOCATED OVER THE YEARS THAT

YOU FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT,THAT HAS HAD SOME EFFECT?

WE HAVE HAD SOME ISSUE IN THECONVERSATION?

>> ABSOLUTELY.

PEOPLE USED TO ASK ME, YOU KNOW,WOULD YOU EVER RUN TO OFFICE.

THAT'S SUCH A SILLY QUESTION.

I COULD NEVER.

AND IF I DID, MY SLOGAN WOULDBE, 'DRUGS ARE GOOD AND RELIGION

IS BAD.'

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]WHICH UH, WHICH YOU CAN'T

PROBABLY RUN FOR OFFICE ON INTHIS COUNTRY, BUT I FEEL LIKE,

YOU KNOW, THE NEEDLE HAS MOVEDON BOTH OF THOSE.

>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> I THINK PEOPLE HAVE COME OVERTHE MY WAY OF THINKING.

DRUGS ARE GOOD AND RELIGION ISBAD.

I'M GOING TO STICK WITH WITHTHAT.

>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THERELIGION THING.

DO YOU THINK THIS COUNTRY HASPROVED... I STILL FEEL LIKE THIS

FOR A WESTERN COUNTRY ISPROBABLY THE MOST RELIGIOUS.

>> OH, BY FAR.>> Jon: THE MOST GOD FEARING.

>> OH, OF COURSE. I MEAN,

YES, WE'RE OFTEN THE CASE, INSOCIAL ISSUES, A STEP BEHIND

OTHER COUNTRIES.>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> AND CERTAINLY ABOUTTHAT. I MEAN, HILLARY CLINTON

JUST SAID HER FAVORITE BOOK WASTHE BIBLE.

>> Jon: WASN'T, THAT I THOUGHTWAS SO FUNNY...

>> YOU COULDN'T FIND SOMETHINGMORE VIOLENT LIKE "GAME OF

THRONES"?

THAT'S SO A BEAT BEHIND. YOUKNOW,

THAT'S JUST CERTAINLY NOT WHERETHE MILLENNIALS ARE.

RIGHT, WHO ARE THE MILLENNIALSHERE?

[APPLAUSE]THEY'RE NOT RELIGIOUS.

>> Jon: BUT DON'T YOU THINK THATWAS MERELY AN INDICATION THAT

SHE'S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.>> I KNOW.

>> Jon: THAT WAS NOT,

I DON'T THINK IN ANY REALITYTHAT IS HER FAVORITE BOOK.

>> OH, OF COURSE NO.

>> Jon: NO.

WELL ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT, IDON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

YOU KNOW WHO IS A LIAR ABOUTTHIS IS OBAMA.

OBAMA'S ALWAYS SPOUTINGSPIRITUAL BULLSHIT, AND I DON'T

BELIEVE IT FOR A SECOND.>> Jon: YOU DON'T THINK?

>> HE'S A DROP-DEAD ATHEIST,ABSOLUTELY.

>> Jon: NO. HE SPENT,HOW MANY YEARS DID

HE SPEND IN REVEREND WRIGHT'SCHURCH.

HE SPENT A LONG TIME INCHICAGO...

>> HE NEVER WENT.

HE JOINED BECAUSE IT WASPOLITICALLY NECESSARY.

>> Jon: OH IS THAT TRUE? HEDIDN'T GO SO MUCH?

>> ABSOLUTELY NOT.

>> Jon: NOT TO THE PICNICS NOTTO ANYTHING?

>> NO, NOTHING.

HE JOINED BECAUSE HE WANTED TOMOVE AHEAD IN THAT POLITICAL

WORLD AND, OF COURSE, YOU HAD TOBE PART OF A CHURCH.

>> Jon: BUT DON'T THEY SAY,THOUGH, THAT IN THIS COUNTRY

IF YOU WANT TO BE ELECTED, THEONE THING YOU CAN'T BE, YOU CAN

BE GAY, A WOMAN, YOU CAN BEJEWISH, YOU CAN'T BE AN ATHEIST.

>> YOU CAN'T BE AN ATHEIST.>> Jon: I FIND THAT SO BIZARRE.

>> SO BIZARRE AND SO WRONGBECAUSE IT IS THE SINGLE BIGGEST

MINORITY IN THIS COUNTRY.

>> Jon: ATHEISTS?

>> ABSOLUTELY. I MEAN, I MEAN,

BLACKS ARE LIKE 12% OR 13% OFTHE POPULATION.

HISPANICS I THINK ABOUT THESAME, MAYBE A LITTLE MORE NOW.

>> Jon: WAIT.

HOLD ON.

NOW THEY'RE 25%.

WAIT.

HOLD ON.

28%.

>> BUT THEY'RE NOT COMINGANYMORE.

THAT'S PART OF THE REPUBLICANBUBBLE I ALWAYS SAY IS THAT THEY

TALK ABOUT IMMIGRATION.

WE HAVE TO STOP IT.

HELLO!

THERE ARE THINGS CALLED FACTS.

I KNOW THEY HAVE A ZEROTOLERANCE FOR THEM.

[LAUGHTER]BUT ONE OF THEM IS THAT NET

IMMIGRATION IS NOWZERO. YES, THEY USED TO COME,

>> Jon: RIGHT.>> I MEAN, IN THE LAST 30 YEARS,

12 MILLION MEXICANS CAME TOAMERICA. IN THREE CARS.

[LAUGHTER][AUDIENCE BOOS]

>>BUT...>> Jon: OH JESUS.

REALLY...REALLY? YOU'REWOUNDED BY THAT?

>> Jon: IT WAS GOING SO WELL.

IT WAS RIGHT THERE.

BUT ISN'T THERE, THOUGH,THERE IS THAT CRAZY

SITUATION NOW ON THE BORDERWHERE THE CARTELS HAVE

MOVED ALL THESE YOUNG KIDS FROMCENTRAL AMERICA.

THERE ARE THESE TERRIBLE INNOGALES AND ALL THIS, THESE

TERRIBLE CAMPS WHERE WE'RE JUSTPROCESSING THESE POOR KIDS.

>> YEAH. RIGHT, AND THEY'RECOMING THROUGH MEXICO.

THEY'RE CENTRAL AMERICANS.>> Jon: YES.

>> MEXICANS ARE SAYING TO THEM,WHY, YOU CAN'T LEARN BROKEN

ENGLISH?>> Jon: WHAT?

[LAUGHTER]>> MUCH MORE POLITICALLY CORRECT

HERE, JON.

YOU'VE GOT TO CHALLENGE THEMONCE IN A WHILE.

>> Jon: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACKWITH, WAIT, WAIT, DON'T TELL ME,

RIGHT AFTER THIS.

NOW, I GOT ASK YOU, THIS IS VERYIMPORTANT, THIS IS BEYOND IRAQ.

THIS IS BEYOND IMMIGRATION.

THIS IS BEYOND GAY MARRIAGE.

THIS IS BEYOND RELIGION.

>> OH, MY GOD.

I'M NERVOUS.

>> Jon: DON'T BE NERVOUS.

YOU ARE PART OWNER OF THE NEWYORK METROPOLITANS.

THAT IS, THEY ARE MY FAVORITETEAM.

I AM AS OLD AS THEY ARE.

WHEN YOU GO TO THE MEETINGS...

>> MINORITY OWNER.

>> Jon: CAN I, CAN I... YOU'RENOT A MINORITY.

DO THEY CONSIDER JEWS A MINORITYOVER THERE?

YOU'RE NOT A MINORITY.

SO WHEN YOU GO OVER THERE...

>> NEVER IN NEW YORK.

>> Jon: CAN I GIVE YOU... IHAVE A JAR OF TEARS THAT I HAVE,

THAT I HAVE BEEN SAVING...

[LAUGHTER]>> COULD YOU MIX WITH IT DICK

CHENEY'S PHLEGM?

>> Jon: YES!

IT WILL BE DONE.

HAVE YOU BEEN TO AN OWNERSHIPMEETING YET?

>> NO, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO AMEETING.

I'VE BEEN TO THE STADIUM A FEWTIME, BUT THIS IS MY FIRST

MEETING TOMORROW.

SO, UH, THEY PLAYED AWESOME THISWEEK.

I ALWAYS BRING THEM LUCK WHEN ICOME TO NEW YORK.

>> NO, THEY BEAT THE MARLINS 3OUT OF 4, SO THAT'S, YOU KNOW,

3 OUT OF 4.

>> BUT THEY'RE STARTING TO HIT.

THEY'RE STARTING TO HIT.

YOU KNOW, I'M TELLING YOU.

WEIRDER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.

REMEMBER THE '69 METS?

>> Jon: WELL, NO, THE '69 METSWERE GREAT, BUT IT'S '73.

I REMEMBER IN '73 THEY WERE LIKE14 GAMES BEHIND.

>> OH REALLY?>> Jon: IT WAS AUGUST.

AND THEN TUG McGRAW IF YOUREMEMBER, DID THE WHOLE,

"YOU GOT TO BELIEVE," ANDTHEY CHARGED BACK.

>> THAT'S RIGHT. BUT WEREN'TTHEY WAY BACK IN '69, TOO?

>> I DON'T BELIEVE SO. I THINKIN '69,

THEY WERE BEHIND THE CUBS, BUT ITHINK THEY WON 100 GAMES THAT

YEAR OR VERY CLOSE TO THAT. THEYWERE A VERY GOOD TEAM.

IN '73 THEY WERE TERRIBLE, BUTTHE REST OF THE DIVISION WAS

TERRIBLE.

>> WELL, THEY'RECOME-FROM-BEHIND TEAM.

PICK YOUR OWN GAY JOKE NOW.

>> Jon: WELL, I'M EXCITED FORYOU.

AS THE OWNER OF THE TEAM, TOJUST WANDER THROUGH THERE AND

SIZE UP THE PLAYERS...

>> I'M IN THE OWNER OF THE TEAM.

>> Jon: THE MINORITY OWNER.

>> YES, THAT'S TRUE.

>> Jon: THAT'S VERY EXCITING. DOYOU HAVE A SHIRT THAT SAYS

MAHER? DO YOU HAVE LIKE A WHOLETHING?

>> THEY DO SEND YOU A WARDROBE.THERE IS A,

TWICE A YEAR YOU GET METSPARAPHERNALIA.

LOOK AT ME, PARAPHERNALIA,EVERYTHING IS...

>> Jon: YOU HAVE A CLEON JONESBONG, THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE.

>> YES, THE METS SEND MECLOTHES, AND I SMOKE IT.

>> Jon: THAT'S HILARIOUS. WELL,GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

I HOPE YOU BRING THEM LUCKBECAUSE NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME

HAPPIER.

>> I KNOW. IT'S GREAT THATYOU'RE A MET FAN BECAUSE I FEEL

LIKE THE METS' FANS ARE THE REALPEOPLE, YOU KNOW, THE REGULAR

PEOPLE. >> Jon: LOSERS. WE'RE LOSERS.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING,MORE COMEDIANS LOVE THE METS.

>> I GREW UP LIKING THE YANKEES.

BUT YOU KNOW WHY I CAN'T STANDTHE YANKEES?

BECAUSE GEORGE STEINBRENNER, WHOI FEEL IS LIKE DONALD TRUMP'S

DOPPELGANGER.>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> RIGHT? AREN'T THEY THE EXACTSAME GUY?

>> Jon: WELL, ONE OF THEM ISDEAD.

I'M NOT GOING TO SAY WHICH ONE.

>> OKAY.

WELL, THAT'S A GOOD START.

BUT DON'T YOU THINK THEY'RE THESAME KIND OF PERSON?

THEY'RE EXACTLY WHAT I DON'TLIKE ABOUT PEOPLE.

THEY'RE ARROGANT.

THEY'RE EGOTISTICAL.>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> THEY'RE NOT TERRIBLY BRIGHT.

THEY'RE ALL ABOUT MONEY.>> Jon: OH JESUS.

THEY BOTH REMIND ME OF OSCARWILDE'S DEFINITION OF A CYNIC --

SOMEONE WHO KNOWS THE PRICE OFEVERYTHING AND THE VALUE OF

NOTHING.

>> Jon: RIGHT. RIGHT. THAT'SINTERESTING.

>> THAT IS SO [BLEEPED]PROFOUND.

>> Jon: I WOULDN'T SAY THATABOUT... I FEEL LIKE THEY

KNOW, AS LONG AS THEY STAY INTHEIR AREAS, LIKE TRUMP

APPARENTLY KNOWS A TREMENDOUSAMOUNT ABOUT REAL ESTATE.

STEINBRENNER KNEW A LOT ABOUTEMBEZZLELING.

SO THE TWO OF THEM...>> YEAH, RIGHT.

>> Jon: I THINK THAT'S GOING TOBE VERY EXCITING.

I ALWAYS GO TO THE LAST MET GAMEOF THE YEAR.

>> COME WITH ME SOME TIME.

>> Jon: WELL, I LIKE TO GO TOTHE LAST GAME, BECAUSE THEN

ME AND MY SON HAVE THERUN OF THE PLACE.

[LAUGHTER]IT'S JUST THE TWO OF US,

LITERALLY, IF YOU EVER WANT GOTO A SHAKE SHACK WITH NO LINE,

LAST GAME OF THE YEAR, CITIFIELD.

>> I DON'T, BUT THANK YOU.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: "REAL TIME WITH BILL

MAHER" AIRS FRIDAY NIGHTS AT10:00 ON HBO.

BILL MAHER.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

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