Hey, That Guy Lives There

  • Aired:  04/17/12
  •  | Views: 56,357

Geraldo Rivera scores an exclusive phone interview with a Taliban spokesperson while covering their relaunched spring offensive in Afghanistan. (2:31)

( THEME SONG PLAYING )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW"!

BOOM, MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

GOOD ONE TONIGHT.

OH, MY GUEST, JULIA LOUISE DREYFUS WILL BE JOINING US FROM HER BRAND NEW VIE "V.P." BUT

WE'RE GOING TO START WITH OUR BRAND NEW SEGMENT ON THE SHOW CALLED HEY, THAT GUY LIVE THERE IS!

(LAUGHTER) YOU'LL UNDERSTAND IT IN A SECOND.

YESTERDAY PROFESSIONAL ADD ADVENTURER AND PART TIME SNIDELY WHIPLASH IMPERSONATOR GERALDO

RIVERA WAS IN AFGHANISTAN COVERING THE TALIBAN'S RECENTLY RELAUNCHED SPRING OFFENSIVE

WHERE HE SCORED AN EXCLUSIVE PHONE INTERVIEW WITH A TALIBAN SPOKESPERSON.

>> ALL RIGHT.

OUR DEAR FRIEND, LONG TIME AFGHAN PRODUCER, HE HAS THE TALIBAN SPOKESMAN ON THE LINE.

ASK HOW HE FEELS ABOUT GETTING HIS ASS KICKED.

(AUDIENCE REACTS) (LAUGHTER)

>> OKAY, TWO THINGS, ONE, I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW GOOD THE CELL PHONE RECEPTION IS IN AFGHANISTAN.

HOW MANY BARS DO YOU THINK THAT GUY'S PULLING.

NUMBER TWO-- AND PERHAPS MORE IMPORTANTLY-- GERALDO, THAT GUY LIVE THERE IS!

(LAUGHTER) MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T ANNOUNCE HIS NAME AND SHOW HIS FACE WHILE

MAKING HIM TAUNT THE TALIBAN FOR YOU.

>> THAT'S GREAT POWER.

YOU GOT 17 DUDES KILLED WHAT DO YOU ACCOMPLISH?

>> ALL RIGHT, HE'S MAKING A SPEECH.

HE'S MAKING A SPEECH, IT'S PROPAGANDA.

WHAT DID HE WIN?

WHAT DID YOU WIN?

JERKOFF, WHAT DID YOU WIN?

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

>> Jon: OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT AN EXPERT ON LOCAL CUSTOMS IN AFGHANISTAN BUT I DO THINK TO

RELIGIOUS EXTREMISTS "JERKOFF" IS CONSIDERED AN INSULT.

(LAUGHTER) MY HOPE IS AKBAR HERE HAS SPENT ENOUGH TIME WITH GERALDO TO BE LOOSE WITH HIS PASHTO�r TRANSLATION.

>> ASK HOW HE FEELS ABOUT GETTING HIS ASS KICKED.

>> THE MAN FROM THE CAR OWE CART GAME WOULD LIKE TO INQUIRE HOW YOU ARE FEELING THIS FINE MORNING.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Jon: GERALDO, WHEN YOU RETURN HOME TO THE STATES YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR FROM YOUR

NEIGHBORS ALTHOUGH YOUR FRIEND AKBAR LIVES IN AFGHANISTAN SURROUNDED BY THOSE JERKOFFS.

(APPLAUSE) BECAUSE, TO REITERATE, HEY!

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