GSA-holes

  • Aired:  04/05/12
  •  | Views: 31,755

Unless the canteens were filled with cocaine and "bicycle"' is a government acronym for "Japanese f**k swing," the GSA's Las Vegas conference is a disgrace to corruption. (5:34)

HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW, MY NAME IS JON STEWART, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

MY GUESTS TONIGHT, CHEF,

AUTHOR AND TV HOST ANTHONY BOURDAIN.

HE'S GOING TO BE ON THE PROGRAM TELLING US ALL ABOUT THE NEW PLACES AND CUISINES

THAT HE HAS BEEN ENJOYING AROUND THE WORLD.

AS I'M SURE YOU KNOW, THERE HAS BEEN A DEBATE RAGING IN RECENT AREAS IN THIS COUNTRY

OVER THE APPROPRIATE SIZE OF OUR GOVERNMENT AND WHETHER IT CAN BE ENTRUSTED WITH SO

MUCH OF OUR MONEY.

EVEN IF YOU BELIEVE THAT MUCH OF THE COMPLAINING OVER BIG WASTEFUL GOVERNMENT

SPENDING IS EVERBLOWN,

TONIGHT WE HAVE A STORY THAT MIGHT MAKE YOU RECONSIDER,

PERHAPS EVEN INVEST IN SOME POSTER BOARD AND A TRICORNERED HAT OF YOUR OWN.

>> LAS VEGAS IS NO STRANGER TO WILD SPENDING SPREES.

BUT IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AT A GOVERNMENT CONFERENCE.

ON THE TAXPAYERS' DIME.

>> Jon: UNLESS IT IS THE GOVERNMENT OF PARTY-- IN WHICH CASE THAT IS EXACTLY

WHAT YOU WOULD EXPECT,

PRESIDENT BOOMER?

(LAUGHTER) SO THAT'S THE DAMAGE?

>> TWO STORY SUITES THAT NORMALLY GO FOR $22 PER NIGHT.

>> $75,000 IN A TRAINING EXERCISE THAT PUT BIKES TOGETHER.

>> MORE THAN $100,000 JUST TO PLAN A FOUR-DAY LAS VEGAS CONFERENCE.

>> SOME OF THAT MONEY WENT FOR CLOWNS, AND A MINDREADER.

>> MORE THAN $6,000 ON WHAT IS BASICALLY SWAG.

CANTEENS, KEY CHAINS,

T-SHIRTS.

>> A FINAL HEAD-SPINNING PRICE TAG $8127-- $823,000.

>> Jon: NOT ONLY DID THE GOVERNMENT BLOW ALMOST A MILLION DOLLARS OF OUR MONEY

IN VEGAS, THEY BLEW IT ON LAME [BLEEP] CANTEENS?

CLOWNS AND BICYCLES?

YOU'RE IN VEGAS.

UNLESS THOSE CANTEENS ARE FILLED WITH COCAINE AND BICYCLE IS A GOVERNMENT

ACRONYM FOR JAPANESE [BLEEP]

SWING, YOU-- YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO CORRUPTION EVERYWHERE.

(LAUGHTER) I THINK I AM LESS UP SET ABOUT THE WASTE OF MONEY THAN MI WITH THE WASTE OF OPPORTUNITY.

LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE OF HOW TO WASTE A MILLION DOLLARS IN VEGAS.

YEAH, YOU MR. PETERS IN ROOM 413, I WOULD LIKE TO SEE A TIGER AND A PENGUIN [BLEEP]

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

AND I GOT ANY LEFT OVER SEND UP TWO BOTTLES OF EVIAN.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

ALL RIGHT.

SO A GIANT AND EXTREME WASTE OF GOVERNMENT MONEY FOR A CONFERENCE.

TALK ABOUT SCAN BALANCES.

BUT DOES THIS EVENT RISE TO THE LEVEL OF OH FOR GOOD'S SAKES.

IT DOES.

>> THE LAVISH LAS VEGAS CONFERENCE ORGANIZED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT'S GENERAL

SERVICE ITS ADMINISTRATION,

THE GENERAL SERVICES ADMINISTRATION IS THE GOVERNMENT'S LANDLORD AND PROCUREMENT MANAGER.

IT IS SUPPOSED TO SET THE STANDARD FOR EFFICIENCY AND COST-CUTTING.

>> Jon: IRONY.

THE PEOPLE HOLDING THE CONFERENCE THAT WASTED A TON OF GOVERNMENT MONEY ARE THE

PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF MAKING SURE THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T WASTE A TON OF MONEY.

LIKE THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL HOLDING A CONFERENCE IN ANDY DICKEY JACUZZI.

(LAUGHTER) IT'S LIKE THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT SELLING GUNS TO MEXICAN DRUG DEALERS.

WHAT?

THEY-- THEY DID?

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

OH, IT GETS BETTER.

EVEN BETTER THAN THE SCANDAL OF SPENDING $800,000 ON A CONFERENCE, EVEN BETTER THAN

SPENDING $800,000 ON A CONFERENCE WHEN ARE YOU IN CHARGE OF PREVENTING OVERSPENDING IS THIS.

>> THEY GOT $80,000 SPENT JUST ON AREA BOOKS FOR THE CONFERENCE PARTICIPANTS.

THEY GOT MOMENTOS.

>> Jon: YEARBOOKS!

THEY GOT YEARBOOK, THE PEOPLE IN GOVERNMENT KNOWN FOR EFFICIENCY AND COST-CUTTING MADE SURE THEY

WOULD HAVE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE OF THE BOONDOGGLE THEY HAD IN VEGAS.

I BELIEVE WE HAVE A PICTURE OF THE AGENCY'S DIRECTOR FROM THE YEARBOOK.

OH YEAH LOOK, SHE WAS VOTED MOST LAKELY TO RESIGN OVER THIS COMICAL MISUNDERSTANDING OF THE

AGENCY'S MISSION.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) BY NOW YOU ARE PROBABLY SAYING OH, RIGHT, IT'S BOONDOGGLE OF EPIC AND

IRONIC PROPORTIONS, BUT IS THERE ONE SINGLE EXPENDITURE THAT IN AND OF ITSELF ISN'T

EXORBITANT BUT IS STILL ABLE TO CAPTURE THE DISTILLED ESENCE OF HUBRIS AND INCOMPETENCE THAT WAS ON

DISPLAY HERE.

>> MORE THAN $6300 FOR COMMEMORATIVE COINS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: 6,300 OF OUR MONEY TO MAKE FAKE MONEY COME MEM RATING THE WEEKEND THEY ALL

WASTED OUR MONEY.

ALL TOLD, THIS SCANDAL HAS CREATED THAT RAREST OF THINGS, A TRULY JUSTIFIABLE MEDIA FIRESTORM.

COMMENTATORS EVERYWHERE HAVE HAD A FIELD DAY WITH THIS THING, PARTICULARLY AT FOX NEWS.

AND LET ME JUST SAY THIS,

YOU'RE RIGHT.

THIS ONE IS TOTALLY LEGITIMATE TO GO AFTER.

WELL DONE.

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