Back in Black - Threats to America's Children

  • Aired:  09/22/11
  •  | Views: 135,585

Lewis Black takes a look at good and bad arsenic and wonders what makes Chaz Bono more controversial than a bunch of criminals and freaks. (5:15)

WELCOME BACK.

YOU KNOW WHEN A NEWS STORY

FALLS THROUGH THE CRACK,

LEWIS BLACK CATCHES IT, A

SEGMENT WE CALL BACK IN

BLACK.

>> WHEN I WAS A KID WE

DIDN'T HAVE SEAT BELTS OR

BICYCLE HELMETS.

OUR ONLY PROTECTION FROM A

NUCLEAR BOMB WAS A SCHOOL

DESK.

SURE, MY PARENTS ONLY

ALLOWED SMOKING IN ONE ROOM

OF OUR HOUSE, BUT IT WAS MY

ROOM!

MY POINT IS, BACK THEN

NOBODY WOULD MAKE A BIG DEAL

OVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

>> THE FDA AND SOME OF THE

MOST POPULAR APPLE JUICE

BRANDS ARE DEFENDING THE

SAFETY OF THEIR PRODUCT

AFTER THE DOCTOR RAISED

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE LEVEL OF

ARSENIC.

>> UNREGULATED ARSENIC IN

THE APPLE JUICE IN AMERICA

IS UNACCEPTABLE.

>> THEY WANT TO TAKE THE

ARSENIC OUT OF APPLE JUICE?

HELL, THE AR SEN IS THE ONLY

THING THAT KEEPS ME REGULAR.

(LAUGHTER)

>> BUT SOMETHING TELLS

ME-- TELLS ME NOT TO TRUST

THIS DOCTOR OZ.

>> HERE IS YOU WHAT NEED TO

KNOW.

THERE ARE TWO FORMS OF

ARSENIC.

ONES THAT'S HARMFUL, AND

ONES THAT'S NOT.

THE KIND IN APPLE JUICE

TENDS TO BE THE ONE THAT

ISN'T HARMFUL.

>> ORGANIC ARSENIC IS

NONTOXIC, COMMON IN FOODS.

>> OH.

EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE.

SO SOMEONE SHOULD JUST

EXPLAIN TO THAT DR. OZ AND

THAT WILL CLEAR IT RIGHT UP.

>> THE FDA SENT A LETTER TO

THE OZ SHOW FIVE DAYS BEFORE

THE SHOW WAS TO AIR, WARNING

THEM AIRING THE SHOW WOULD

BE IRRESPONSIBLE AND

MISLEADING.

>> IRRESPONSIBLE AND

MISLEADING?

IT MUST BE SWEEPS WEEK.

SOME HAVE EVEN ACCUSED THE

DOCTOR OF FEARMONGERING.

>> I AM NOT FEARMONGERING.

I'M A BIG SUPPORTER OF APPLE

JUICE.

I TALKED ABOUT IT ON MY SHOW,

I CONTINUE TO GIVE IT TO MY

KIDS.

>> I LOVE APPLES.

SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE

APPLES.

DIDN'T YOU SEE MY PICTURES

FROM SIX FLAGS?

OBVIOUSLY DR. OZ IS DRUMMING

UP A FALSE CONTROVERSY.

BUT THERE ARE REAL THREATS

TO OUR NATION'S CHILDREN.

>> THE UPROAR OVER ONE OF

THE NEW CONTESTANTS ON

DANCING WITH THE STARS.

>> IT IS FAIR TO SAY THERE

HAS NEVER BEEN THIS MUCH

CONTROVERSY ON DANCING WITH

THE STARS, BEFORE THE SEASON

BEGAN.

>> I THINK IT'S FAIR TO SAY

I HAVE NEVER GIVEN A [BLEEP]

(APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> WHICH ONE OF THIS

SEASON'S CONTESTANTS COULD

POSSIBLY INCITE SO MUCH

HATRED AND DISGUST.

THERE'S ONLY ONE CANDIDATE.

>> I'M NANCY GRACE.

>> KNOWN AS HLN'S MOST

FEARLESS PROSECUTOR.

>> I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN

AND SHOW MY THREE-YEAR-OLD

TWINS THAT MOMMY CAN DANCE.

>> TWO THINGS.

I DIDN'T KNOW NANCY GRACE

CALLED HER TITS THE TWINS.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

>> AND I DIDN'T KNOW THEY

WERE THREE YEARS OLD.

(LAUGHTER)

UNLESS I'M THINKING OF THE

WRONG CONTESTANT.

>> THE BUDS OVER CHAZ BONO'S

CHOICE OF DANCING'S FIRST

TRANSGENDER COMPETITOR --

>> OVERSHADOWED BY OUTRAGED

OUTCRY ON-LINE FROM THE

AMERICAN FAMILY ASSOCIATION.

>> THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO

WATCH THIS SHOW WITH CHAZ ON

THERE.

THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY

CONFUSING FOR CHILDREN.

AND SHOULD NOT BE INCLUDED

IN THEIR CAST.

>> I'M SURPRISED IT'S A

CONCERN.

BECAUSE NOBODY SEEMED TO

HAVE ANY TROUBLE EXPLAINING

THE DANCING ALCOHOLIC, THE

DANCING PORNOGRAPHER'S CON

YOU CAN BIN, THE DANCING

CONVICTED-- THE DANCING

CONVICTED MONEY LAUNDERING,

THE DANCING DRUG ABUSING

ABUSING-- UNDERAGED WHORE

MONGER, THE DANCING SLEAZE

PEDDLER.

WHATEVER IT IS THIS GUY DOES,

WHATEVER IT IS THIS LADY

DOES, AND THIS DOWN BAG IN

THE BOW TIE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WHAT MAKES CHAZ BONO MORE

CONTROVERSIAL THAN A BUNCH

OF CRIMINALS AND FREAKS?

MAYBE IF A PROFESSIONAL

PSYCHIATRIST/IDIOT EXPLAINED

IT TO ME.

>> DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE

THAT CHILDREN ARE GOING TO

TURN TRANSGENDER FROM

WATCHING CHAZ BONO?

>> YES, IT'S POSSIBLE THAT

IF SOMEONE IS CELEBRATED AND

LIFTED TO HEROIC PROPORTIONS

LIKE THAT OF A CIVIL RIGHTS

LEADER, THAT SOMEBODY WHO IS

SOMEWHAT UNCOMFORTABLE WITH

HIS OR HER GENDER, YOU KNOW

WHAT, I'M GOING DOWN THAT

ROAD.

>> I DON'T KNOW IF LETTING

YOUR QUIDES WATCH CHAZ BONO

WILL TURN THEM INTO

TRANSSEXUALS, BUT I'M PRETTY

SURE LETTING THEM

KEITH-- WILL TURN THEM INTO

ASS [BLEEP]

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> J

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