Swing State Hell

  • Aired:  11/01/12
  •  | Views: 346,191

Both the Obama and Romney campaigns have crunched the numbers and decided the only electoral votes that matter are the 18 that reside in Ohio. (6:44)

( THEME SONG PLAYING ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW, MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

OH, OUR GUEST TONIGHT, A GOOD ONE, TV JOURNALIST, CO-FOUNDER THE BOB WOODRUFF FOUNDATION, BOB WOODRUFF,

HE'LL BE JOINING US.

NOW OBVIOUSLY NEW YORK STILL REELING FROM THE AFFECTS OF THE SUPERSTORM THIS WHOLE REGION.

THINGS ARE GETTING BACK TO NORMAL IN SMALL MEASURES.

THIS MORNING, IN FACT, CRAZY PERSON WAS OUTSIDE MY WINDOW YELLING WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

AND IT WAS MAYOR BLOOMBERG WAS-- IT WAS HIM.

(LAUGHTER) AND HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THE STORM.

HE WAS TALKING ABOUT TRANSFATS.

(LAUGHTER) BUT SO EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE COMING AROUND.

(LAUGHTER) I'M ACTUALLY SO PROUD OF THIS AREA.

STILL VERY THANKFUL TO BE IN SOGGY PORTION WE ARELESS NEW YORK.

BECAUSE, AND THIS IS TRUE, YOU HAVE TO KEEP PERSPECTIVE N SOMEPLACES IN THIS COUNTRY, IT'S EVEN WORSE.

>> THE CANDIDATES ARE SPENDING SO MUCH TIME HERE IT'S AS IF THEY ARE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF OHIO.

>> RESIDENTS ARE FACING A DAILY ONSLAUGHT OF CAMPAIGN ADS, NEWS STORIES, ROBO CALLS AND MAILERS.

>> YOU CAN IMAGINE THE HELLISH POST APOCALYPTIC REALITY WHERE ALL YOU SEE ARE POLITICAL ADS?

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: IMAGINE IT?

I WROTE A SCREENPLAY ABOUT IT.

CLEVELANDFIELD.

(LAUGHTER) JK AN RAMS.

SANDY HAS DEVASTATED OUR REGION BUT AT LEAST WE DON'T LIVE IN SWING STATE HELL!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THAT'S SAD THAT IS WHAT WE DID IN THIS BUILDING HERE WITH THE ELECTRICITY THAT WE HAVE.

(LAUGHTER) PEOPLE DOWNTOWN ARE DRINKING THEIR OWN URINE AND WE'RE UP HERE.

FOR WHATEVER REASON BOTH CAMPAIGNS HAVE CRUNCHED THE NUMBERS, STUDIED THIS ELECTION'S METRICS AND DECIDED THAT THE ONLY

ELECTORAL VOTES OF CONSEQUENCE IN 2012 ARE THE 18 THAT RESIDE IN THE GREAT STATE OF OHIO.

WHILE THE REST OF US ARE FREE TO PURSUE WORK, FAMILY, RECREATION, OHIOANS MUST RECONCILE THEIR ROLE AS THIS

YEAR'S --.

>> THERE'S MORE MONEY BEING SPENT ON POLITICAL ADS IN OHIO THAN IN ANY OTHER STATE.

181 MILLION DOLLARS SO FAR, IN COLUMBUS, MORE THAN 6600 ADS JUST THIS MONTH.

THAT'S 333 A DAY.

FOR SUE AND JACK McKITTRICK OF DUBLIN, OHIO, THE BARRAGE BEGINS BEFORE DAY BREAK.

SHE'S UNDECIDED.

HE SUPPORT AS ROMNEY.

>> THE ADS ARE CONTINUOUSLY FROM 5:00 IN THE MORNING UNTIL WE GO TO BED AT NIGHT.

>> Jon: AND THAT'S WHEN THE DREAM ADS START.

(LAUGHTER) ARE YOU HAPPY O BAMA AND ROMNEY!

YOU'RE KILLING THE McKITTRICKS!

YOU KNOW THEY JUST GOT MARRIED THREE MONTHS AGO.

(LAUGHTER) AND NOW LOOK AT THEM!

THEY'RE IN THEIR MID 20s.

YOU'RE KILLING THEM!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THESE OHIO POLITICAL ADS ZAP YOUR YOUTH, THEY DRAIN YOUR VIGOR.

OUT OF THE SAME HOLE THEY USED TO ZAP YOUR YOUTH.

THE CLOACA I THINK IT'S CALLED.

>> OBAMA TOOK GM AND CHRYSLER INTO BANKRUPTCY AND SOLD CHRYSLER TO ITALIANS WHO ARE GOING TO BUILD JEEPS

IN CHINA.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: SOLD CHRYSLER TO ITALIANS WHAT, WE'RE AFRAID OF ITALIANS NOW?

>> IF OBAMA WINS, IT WILL BE THE POPE DECIDING WHAT YOU DRIVE.

(LAUGHTER) ONE DAY THEY'RE RUINING OUR CAR COMPANIES, THE NEXT DAY THEY'LL BE KISSING OUR DAUGHTERS WITH THEIR

GARLICKY LIPS.

(LAUGHTER) BY THE WAY, APPARENTLY THE CLASSIC ITALIANS ARE GOING TO MOVE AMERICAN JEEPS MAKING JOBS TO CHINA.

WHY YOU SAY THESE THINGS, MITT ROMNEY.

KUZ NOW I GOTTA MAKEA THE NICE PEOPLE OF OHIO SAY ANOTHER AD SAYING THAT'S

[BLEEP].

>> AFTER ROMNEY'S FALSE CLAIM OF JEEP OUTSOURCING TO CHINA CHRYSLER ITSELF HAS REFUTED ROMNEY'S LIE.

>> Jon: HOW OUT THERE IS MITT ROMNEY, I A CAR COMPANY, THE PEOPLE WHO CONVINCE YOU YOU NEED THE UNDERCOATING

ARE COMING AFTER HIM FOR HIS DISHONESTY.

(LAUGHTER) YOU MIGHT SAY WELL HEY, WHY DON'T THEY JUST TURN OFF THE TV AND LEAVE THE HOUSE AND LIVE THEIR LIFE.

>> BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HIDE, BECAUSE THE CANDIDATES ARE

[BLEEP] EVERYWHERE.

>> IT'S GOODS NOBODY TOLDO, OHIO.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH, LEBANON.

>> YOUNGSTOWN.

>> BOWLING GREEN.

>> CLEVELAND.

>> HAMILTON.

>> PORTSMOUTH.

>> ZAINESVILLE.

>> HELLO CINCINNATI!

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: HELLO NORMALTON, MIDDLESBERG, AVERAGEVILLE, EACH UNDECIDED INDEPENDENT VOTERSBURRY.

VAGISIL, COMPTON, I DON'T-- SITTING THROUGH THE POLICY SPEECHES, THAT'S ONE THING.

BUT IT'S THE RELATING TO YOU.

THE NEVER ENDING INCESSANT RELATING TO YOU.

>> OUR PART OF WISCONSIN IS JUST LIKE THIS PART OF OHIO.

>> THIS LOOKS JUST LIKE WHERE I COME FROM.

TOLEDO AND JANESVILLE HAVE A LOT IN KMON.

>> JANESVILLE IS NOT THAT DIFFERENT FROM ZAINESVILLE.

>> WHERE I COME FROM.

>> IT'S SO SIMILAR TO RIGHT HERE IN NEW PHILADELPHIA.

>> ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS FROM AGO RON.

>> OH, REALLY?

-- .

>> Jon: ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS FROM AKRON.

I WOULD LET MY DAUGHTER GO OUT WITH SOMEONE FROM AKRON.

WELL, IF THAT WAS TRUE WITH YOU WOULD KNOW THAT THEY PREFER TO BE CALLED AKRO-AMERICANS.

(LAUGHTER) BUT DON'T LET ME INTERRUPT YOUR FORCED FUN.

>> O-H.

>> I-O.

>> O-H.

>> IO.

>> OH REASON IO REASON GOD I LOVE THAT THAT'S SO FUN.

>> Jon: YEAH, IT'S NOT THAT FUN.

YOU YELL TWO LETTERS AT THEM, AND THEN THEY YELL TWO BACK.

AND ONE OF THEM IS THE SAME LETTER.

(LAUGHTER) OUR CITY HAS GOT A WAY BETTER CALL AND RESPONSE THING.

NEW YOR

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