Hurty Sanchez

  • Aired:  10/04/10
  •  | Views: 1,599,054

Perhaps CNN will use Rick Sanchez's vacated timeslot to starve parasites like Jon by putting on quality news and discussion. (9:12)

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW".

MY NAME JON STEWART.

WHAT A PROGRAM WE HAVE FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

I WAS JUST WRITING THIS DOWN

HALF CUP CINNAMON.

ALL RIGHT, ANYWAY.

[LAUGHTER]

TONIGHT'S GUEST.

SIR, PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN.

[LAUGHTER]

TONIGHT'S GUEST PROFESSIONAL

ATHEIST SAM HARRIS.

WE'LL SEE WHAT ADVICE HE HAS FOR

AMATEUR ATHEISTS LOOKING TO MAKE

IT TO THE PROS.

SO LAST THURSDAY AFTER WE TAPE

OUR PROGRAM.

I DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO, HEAD

HOME, CHANGE OUT OF MY WORK

SHRABGZ AND INTO MY NEW LINE

PURE SILK COMFORT WEAR.

MIX MYSELF A ROB ROY, PACK A

PIPE FULL OF CHERRY SURPRISE --

THE SURPRISE IS THROAT CANCER --

[LAUGHTER]

AND I KICK BACK AND RELAX WITH

ONE-FAVORITE SHOWS THE PETE

DOMINICK RADIO HOUR.

THURSDAY NIGHT HAD A GUEST RICK

SANCHEZ.

LET'S LISTEN IN.

>> I THINK JON STEWART IS A

BIGOT.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: OH, MY GOD, RICK

SANCHEZ KNOWS MY NAME.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I'M SO EXCITED.

AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT.

♪ I'M ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL AND

I THINK I LIKE IT ♪

ACTUALLY, MR. SANCHEZ WAS

APPARENTLY ANGRY AT ME AND OUR

PROGRAM HERE FOR SOME OF THE FUN

THAT WE POKED AT HIS QUITE

FRANKLY EXTREMELY POKABLE SHOW.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT HE MAY HAVE MISSED SOME OF

THE POINT.

>> HE CAN'T RELATE TO GUY LIKE

ME.

HE CAN'T RELATE TO A GUYSS WHO

DAD WORKED ALL HIS LIFE.

HE CAN'T RELATE TO SOMEBODY WHO

GREW UP POOR.

I'M SO HAPPY HE GREW UP IN A

SUBURBAN NEW JERSEY HOME WITH

EVERYTHING THAT COULD YOU EVER

IMAGINE.

>> Jon: OKAY.

[LAUGHTER]

I DO OCCASIONALLY HAVE MY ISSUES

WITH RICK SANCHEZ AND

MS. PROGRAM BUT HE NAILED WHAT

IT WAS LIKE GROWING UP IN

CENTRAL JERSEY IN THE EARLY

70s, THE FORTUNATE SON OF A

SINGLE MOTHER IN THE EDUCATION

FIELD.

I BELIEVE THAT'S ME RIGHT THERE.

[LAUGHTER]

I BELIEVE THAT'S FROM 1972.

I BELIEVE THAT'S ME PEDALING TO

THE COTILLION.

[LAUGHTER]

AT THIS POINT ALL IS STILL WELL

WITH THE WORLD.

HE SAID THINGS ABOUT ME BUT

THAT'S FINE.

AS I MOVED TO REPLACE MY ROB ROY

WITH A RUSTY NAIL.

I WORK ALL DAY IN THIS DECADE

BUT WHEN I'M HOME IT'S THE

40s.

AS I GO TO REACH FOR THAT DRINK

SANCHEZ UPS THE ANTE.

>> EVERYBODY THAT RUNS CNN IS A

LOT LIKE STEWART.

A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO RUN THE

OTHER NETWORKS ARE LIKE STEWART.

TO IMPLY THAT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE

JEWISH ARE AN OPPRESSED

MINORITY, YEAH.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: WOW.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NOW I'M ANGRY.

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE I REALIZE I DON'T GET

BACK ON THE AIR UNTIL MONDAY.

AND THERE'S NO WAY THIS CAT

SURVIVES THE WEEKEND AT CNN.

IT'S ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHEN I'M

THINKING WHY DON'T WE TAPE ON

FRIDAY?

NOT THAT THAT WOULD HAVE HELP

BECAUSE BY FRIDAY AFTERNOON.

>> RICK SANCHEZ GOT THE BOOT.

>> THE CNN ANCHOR WAS FIRED

AFTER CALLING STEWART A BIGOT.

>> Jon: I WANT TO CLARIFY WE.

WE WEREN'T MAKING FUN OF RICK

SANCHEZ BECAUSE OF A SLIGHT TO

ETHNICITY WE SEE HIM AS A

COMPLEX TELEVISION CHARACTER WHO

IS FLAWED BUT FASCINATING TO

WATCH EVERY WEEK.

WE PUT THIS WHOLE BIT TOGETHER

TO DEMONSTRATE THAT POINT AND

THEN THEY FIRE THE GUY.

SO DOING THE WHOLE BIT NOW SEEMS

KIND OF MEAN.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE JUST A

LITTLE TASTE OF IT BECAUSE IT

WAS --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

-- IT WAS SO -- LET ME GIVE YOU

A LITTLE BIT OF WHERE WE WERE

GOING.

>> YOU CAN SAY YOU HAVE TO GIVE

ME SOMETHING.

I'M SAYING THAT SOMETHING.

♪ ♪

>> WHAT UP WU?

WIKIPEDIA IS THE BEST THING

EVER.

>> SOCIAL MEDIA MAKES OUR WORLD

CIRCULAR.

>> ANYONE IN THE WORLD CAN WRITE

ANYTHING THEY WANT.

>> EVERYBODY IS ENGAGED IN

CONVERSATION.

IT'S THE BOSS'S CHAIR AND YOU

ARE SITTING IN IT.

>> SURPRISE IT'S A JOKE.

WE WERE JOKING AROUND.

SEE?

>> OH, BOY.

HEY MICHAEL.

>> MAYBE WE SHOULD GET IT

EMBROIDERED ON SOMETHING.

>> WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?

>> I DIG YOU.

>> TMI, MY FRIEND.

>> TMI?

>> TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

>> TMI, RIGHT, TOO MUCH

INFORMATION.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: I'M TELLING THEY ARE

THE SAME GUY.

CARRELL IS LEAVING THE OFFICE,

NBC SHROOKING TO REPLACE HIM.

DANNY McBRIDE AIN'T GOING TO

DO IT.

SANCHEZ IS AVAILABLE.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S THE END OF SANCHEZ STORY.

IT DOESN'T MATTER, I HAVE BIGGER

FISH TO FRY ANYWAY.

I HOSTED THE THEATER PORTION FOR

AUTISM EDUCATION.

WE'LL HAVE THE LIVE VERSION IN A

COUPLE OF WEEKS.

I'M PERFORMING LIVE SO I HAVE TO

MENTION THE BIG STORY ABOUT

SANCHEZ, THE ELEPHANT IN THE

ROOM AS IT WERE.

>> BY THE WAY, GIVING IS NOT A

WAY TO HELP OTHERS.

BUT KIT MAKE YOU FEEL REALLY

GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF IF THERE'S

SOMETHING YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT.

IF WE HAVE ANY WALL STREET

PEOPLE HERE TONIGHT.

IT'S A GREAT WAY TO FEEL BETTER.

IF YOU DENTED YOUR FRIEND'S CAR,

LET'S SAY, BUT DIDN'T SAY

ANYTHING, THROW IN $50 TO CLEAR

YOURSELF.

IF YOU CHEATED ON SOMETHING TO

GET AHEAD, $500, SOMETHING LIKE

THAT.

IF YOU WENT ON THE RADIO AND

SAID JEWS RUN THE MEDIA, YOU MAY

WANT TO --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ACTUALLY IN THAT CASE YOU MAY

WANT TO HOLD ON TO YOUR MONEY,

THERE MAY BE.

I DIDN'T WANT TO GET INTO IT BUT

WITH THE AUDIENCE THERE YOU HAVE

TO SAY, YOU SEE THE SPINACH IN

MY TEETH.

I HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT.

WE HAVE ONLY THREE HOURS TO

RAISE MONEY HERE.

OR IN OTHERWISE STEWART SLAMS

RICK SANCHEZ.

STEWART RIPS SANCHEZ, STEWART

DESTROYS FIRED ANCHOR.

RIP, DESTROYED, THAT WASTIME

MAGAZINE.

-- WAS "TIME" MAGAZINE.

ANY HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE SAID

COMEDIAN RAISES $3 MILLION FOR

AUTISM WHILE DEMONSTRATING

INCREDIBLE SELF-RESTRAINT ABOUT

RICK SANCHEZ.

HERE IS THE DEAL --

[ APPLAUSE ]

-- IF CNN GOT RID OF RICK

SANCHEZ BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T LIKE

HIS SHOW, FINE.

WE WEREN'T THAT CRAZY BY THE

EITHER.

BUT IF THEY FIRED HIM FOR MAKING

SOME STATEMENTS AND SOME BENAL

JEW BAITING, I'M NOT EVEN SURE

SANCHEZ BELIEVES WHAT HE HE WAS

SAYING BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT RICK

SANCHEZ HAS TIME TO THINK THINKS

THING AND DOESN'T NECESSARILY

THINK HE IS ABOUT TO GET FIRED

ANYWAY HE HAS A SLIGHTLY

DIFFERENT TAKE ON THE TOPIC.

WE'RE SO HUNG UP ON RACE IN THIS

COUNTRY.

WE FOCUS SO MUCH ON THE THINGS

THAT MAKE US DIFFERENT RATHER

THAN THE THINGS THAT MAKE US

SIMILAR.

HE'S AN UNABASHED BIGOT.

HE WON'T TALK TO ME BECAUSE HE

SAYS HE IS AVOIDING THE QUOTE

"JEW MEDIA" YOU AS I LOOK AT YOU

ARE A HATEFUL BIGOT.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO CALL PEOPLE

OUT LIKE THIS, TO CALL THEM WHAT

THEY ARE.

>> Jon: RICK SANCHEZ CONSIDER

YOURSELF UNBUSTED.

ALL I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LOT

HARD ON THAT GUY'S MUSTACHE.

I THINK THAT'S WHAT THAT GUY

REALLY THINKS ABOUT THAT.

SO PERHAPS THE SILVER LINING OF

THIS SITUATION IS IT'S A CHANCE

FOR ALL OF US TO GET IN TOUCH

WITH NOT OUR DIRTIER BUT BETTER

SANCHEZ 'S.

PERHAPS EVEN WORDS TO LIVE BY.

[ APPLAUSE ]

I THINK THE GUY HAS PROBABLY GOT

A GOOD HEART.

PERHAPS CNN WILL BE LOOKING TO

USE HIS VACATED TIME SLOT TO GET

IN TOUCH WITH THEIR BETTER

SANCHEZ IN STAR OF PARASITES

LIKE MYSELF BY PUTTING ON

QUALITY NEWS AND DISCUSSION.

>> MR. PARKER?

>> WE'RE DOWN?

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