>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY
SHOW".
MY NAME JON STEWART.
WHAT A PROGRAM WE HAVE FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
I WAS JUST WRITING THIS DOWN
HALF CUP CINNAMON.
ALL RIGHT, ANYWAY.
[LAUGHTER]
TONIGHT'S GUEST.
SIR, PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN.
[LAUGHTER]
TONIGHT'S GUEST PROFESSIONAL
ATHEIST SAM HARRIS.
WE'LL SEE WHAT ADVICE HE HAS FOR
AMATEUR ATHEISTS LOOKING TO MAKE
IT TO THE PROS.
SO LAST THURSDAY AFTER WE TAPE
OUR PROGRAM.
I DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO, HEAD
HOME, CHANGE OUT OF MY WORK
SHRABGZ AND INTO MY NEW LINE
PURE SILK COMFORT WEAR.
MIX MYSELF A ROB ROY, PACK A
PIPE FULL OF CHERRY SURPRISE --
THE SURPRISE IS THROAT CANCER --
[LAUGHTER]
AND I KICK BACK AND RELAX WITH
ONE-FAVORITE SHOWS THE PETE
DOMINICK RADIO HOUR.
THURSDAY NIGHT HAD A GUEST RICK
SANCHEZ.
LET'S LISTEN IN.
>> I THINK JON STEWART IS A
BIGOT.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Jon: OH, MY GOD, RICK
SANCHEZ KNOWS MY NAME.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I'M SO EXCITED.
AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT.
♪ I'M ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL AND
I THINK I LIKE IT ♪
ACTUALLY, MR. SANCHEZ WAS
APPARENTLY ANGRY AT ME AND OUR
PROGRAM HERE FOR SOME OF THE FUN
THAT WE POKED AT HIS QUITE
FRANKLY EXTREMELY POKABLE SHOW.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT HE MAY HAVE MISSED SOME OF
THE POINT.
>> HE CAN'T RELATE TO GUY LIKE
ME.
HE CAN'T RELATE TO A GUYSS WHO
DAD WORKED ALL HIS LIFE.
HE CAN'T RELATE TO SOMEBODY WHO
GREW UP POOR.
I'M SO HAPPY HE GREW UP IN A
SUBURBAN NEW JERSEY HOME WITH
EVERYTHING THAT COULD YOU EVER
IMAGINE.
>> Jon: OKAY.
[LAUGHTER]
I DO OCCASIONALLY HAVE MY ISSUES
WITH RICK SANCHEZ AND
MS. PROGRAM BUT HE NAILED WHAT
IT WAS LIKE GROWING UP IN
CENTRAL JERSEY IN THE EARLY
70s, THE FORTUNATE SON OF A
SINGLE MOTHER IN THE EDUCATION
FIELD.
I BELIEVE THAT'S ME RIGHT THERE.
[LAUGHTER]
I BELIEVE THAT'S FROM 1972.
I BELIEVE THAT'S ME PEDALING TO
THE COTILLION.
[LAUGHTER]
AT THIS POINT ALL IS STILL WELL
WITH THE WORLD.
HE SAID THINGS ABOUT ME BUT
THAT'S FINE.
AS I MOVED TO REPLACE MY ROB ROY
WITH A RUSTY NAIL.
I WORK ALL DAY IN THIS DECADE
BUT WHEN I'M HOME IT'S THE
40s.
AS I GO TO REACH FOR THAT DRINK
SANCHEZ UPS THE ANTE.
>> EVERYBODY THAT RUNS CNN IS A
LOT LIKE STEWART.
A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO RUN THE
OTHER NETWORKS ARE LIKE STEWART.
TO IMPLY THAT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE
JEWISH ARE AN OPPRESSED
MINORITY, YEAH.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Jon: WOW.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
NOW I'M ANGRY.
[LAUGHTER]
BECAUSE I REALIZE I DON'T GET
BACK ON THE AIR UNTIL MONDAY.
AND THERE'S NO WAY THIS CAT
SURVIVES THE WEEKEND AT CNN.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHEN I'M
THINKING WHY DON'T WE TAPE ON
FRIDAY?
NOT THAT THAT WOULD HAVE HELP
BECAUSE BY FRIDAY AFTERNOON.
>> RICK SANCHEZ GOT THE BOOT.
>> THE CNN ANCHOR WAS FIRED
AFTER CALLING STEWART A BIGOT.
>> Jon: I WANT TO CLARIFY WE.
WE WEREN'T MAKING FUN OF RICK
SANCHEZ BECAUSE OF A SLIGHT TO
ETHNICITY WE SEE HIM AS A
COMPLEX TELEVISION CHARACTER WHO
IS FLAWED BUT FASCINATING TO
WATCH EVERY WEEK.
WE PUT THIS WHOLE BIT TOGETHER
TO DEMONSTRATE THAT POINT AND
THEN THEY FIRE THE GUY.
SO DOING THE WHOLE BIT NOW SEEMS
KIND OF MEAN.
[LAUGHTER]
BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE JUST A
LITTLE TASTE OF IT BECAUSE IT
WAS --
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
-- IT WAS SO -- LET ME GIVE YOU
A LITTLE BIT OF WHERE WE WERE
GOING.
>> YOU CAN SAY YOU HAVE TO GIVE
ME SOMETHING.
I'M SAYING THAT SOMETHING.
♪ ♪
>> WHAT UP WU?
WIKIPEDIA IS THE BEST THING
EVER.
>> SOCIAL MEDIA MAKES OUR WORLD
CIRCULAR.
>> ANYONE IN THE WORLD CAN WRITE
ANYTHING THEY WANT.
>> EVERYBODY IS ENGAGED IN
CONVERSATION.
IT'S THE BOSS'S CHAIR AND YOU
ARE SITTING IN IT.
>> SURPRISE IT'S A JOKE.
WE WERE JOKING AROUND.
SEE?
>> OH, BOY.
HEY MICHAEL.
>> MAYBE WE SHOULD GET IT
EMBROIDERED ON SOMETHING.
>> WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
>> I DIG YOU.
>> TMI, MY FRIEND.
>> TMI?
>> TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
>> TMI, RIGHT, TOO MUCH
INFORMATION.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> Jon: I'M TELLING THEY ARE
THE SAME GUY.
CARRELL IS LEAVING THE OFFICE,
NBC SHROOKING TO REPLACE HIM.
DANNY McBRIDE AIN'T GOING TO
DO IT.
SANCHEZ IS AVAILABLE.
[LAUGHTER]
THAT'S THE END OF SANCHEZ STORY.
IT DOESN'T MATTER, I HAVE BIGGER
FISH TO FRY ANYWAY.
I HOSTED THE THEATER PORTION FOR
AUTISM EDUCATION.
WE'LL HAVE THE LIVE VERSION IN A
COUPLE OF WEEKS.
I'M PERFORMING LIVE SO I HAVE TO
MENTION THE BIG STORY ABOUT
SANCHEZ, THE ELEPHANT IN THE
ROOM AS IT WERE.
>> BY THE WAY, GIVING IS NOT A
WAY TO HELP OTHERS.
BUT KIT MAKE YOU FEEL REALLY
GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF IF THERE'S
SOMETHING YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT.
IF WE HAVE ANY WALL STREET
PEOPLE HERE TONIGHT.
IT'S A GREAT WAY TO FEEL BETTER.
IF YOU DENTED YOUR FRIEND'S CAR,
LET'S SAY, BUT DIDN'T SAY
ANYTHING, THROW IN $50 TO CLEAR
YOURSELF.
IF YOU CHEATED ON SOMETHING TO
GET AHEAD, $500, SOMETHING LIKE
THAT.
IF YOU WENT ON THE RADIO AND
SAID JEWS RUN THE MEDIA, YOU MAY
WANT TO --
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ACTUALLY IN THAT CASE YOU MAY
WANT TO HOLD ON TO YOUR MONEY,
THERE MAY BE.
I DIDN'T WANT TO GET INTO IT BUT
WITH THE AUDIENCE THERE YOU HAVE
TO SAY, YOU SEE THE SPINACH IN
MY TEETH.
I HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT.
WE HAVE ONLY THREE HOURS TO
RAISE MONEY HERE.
OR IN OTHERWISE STEWART SLAMS
RICK SANCHEZ.
STEWART RIPS SANCHEZ, STEWART
DESTROYS FIRED ANCHOR.
RIP, DESTROYED, THAT WASTIME
MAGAZINE.
-- WAS "TIME" MAGAZINE.
ANY HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE SAID
COMEDIAN RAISES $3 MILLION FOR
AUTISM WHILE DEMONSTRATING
INCREDIBLE SELF-RESTRAINT ABOUT
RICK SANCHEZ.
HERE IS THE DEAL --
[ APPLAUSE ]
-- IF CNN GOT RID OF RICK
SANCHEZ BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T LIKE
HIS SHOW, FINE.
WE WEREN'T THAT CRAZY BY THE
EITHER.
BUT IF THEY FIRED HIM FOR MAKING
SOME STATEMENTS AND SOME BENAL
JEW BAITING, I'M NOT EVEN SURE
SANCHEZ BELIEVES WHAT HE HE WAS
SAYING BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT RICK
SANCHEZ HAS TIME TO THINK THINKS
THING AND DOESN'T NECESSARILY
THINK HE IS ABOUT TO GET FIRED
ANYWAY HE HAS A SLIGHTLY
DIFFERENT TAKE ON THE TOPIC.
WE'RE SO HUNG UP ON RACE IN THIS
COUNTRY.
WE FOCUS SO MUCH ON THE THINGS
THAT MAKE US DIFFERENT RATHER
THAN THE THINGS THAT MAKE US
SIMILAR.
HE'S AN UNABASHED BIGOT.
HE WON'T TALK TO ME BECAUSE HE
SAYS HE IS AVOIDING THE QUOTE
"JEW MEDIA" YOU AS I LOOK AT YOU
ARE A HATEFUL BIGOT.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO CALL PEOPLE
OUT LIKE THIS, TO CALL THEM WHAT
THEY ARE.
>> Jon: RICK SANCHEZ CONSIDER
YOURSELF UNBUSTED.
ALL I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LOT
HARD ON THAT GUY'S MUSTACHE.
I THINK THAT'S WHAT THAT GUY
REALLY THINKS ABOUT THAT.
SO PERHAPS THE SILVER LINING OF
THIS SITUATION IS IT'S A CHANCE
FOR ALL OF US TO GET IN TOUCH
WITH NOT OUR DIRTIER BUT BETTER
SANCHEZ 'S.
PERHAPS EVEN WORDS TO LIVE BY.
[ APPLAUSE ]
I THINK THE GUY HAS PROBABLY GOT
A GOOD HEART.
PERHAPS CNN WILL BE LOOKING TO
USE HIS VACATED TIME SLOT TO GET
IN TOUCH WITH THEIR BETTER
SANCHEZ IN STAR OF PARASITES
LIKE MYSELF BY PUTTING ON
QUALITY NEWS AND DISCUSSION.
>> MR. PARKER?
>> WE'RE DOWN?