Prince Harry Visits America

  • Aired:  05/14/13
  •  | Views: 59,947

The press grills President Obama about a burgeoning IRS scandal, and John Oliver reports on Prince Harry's American sojourn. (4:23)

AND HAVING MEETINGS NOW.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT I TELL YOU WHO THE REAL

VICTIM OF THIS IS.

DAVID CAMERON.

CAMERON JUST HAD TO SORT OF

STAND THERE LOOKING DOWN FOR

THE GRILLING.

HE'S LIKE A KID WHO GOT

INVITED OVER TO A FRIEND'S

HOUSE FOR DINNER ON THE

NIGHT HIS FRIEND'S PARENTS

FILED FOR DIVORCE.

(LAUGHTER)

(LAUGHTER)

YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW WHAT, I

THINK I'LL TAKE MY PLATE AND

EAT OUTSIDE IF THAT'S ALL

RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

FOR MORE ON PRIME MINISTER

CAMERON'S WHITE HOUSE VISIT

WE GO TO JOHN OLIVER AT THE

WHITE HOUSE.

JOHN!

HOW ARE YOU SIR?

(APPLAUSE)

WHAT DID YOU MAKE OF THIS

JOINT PRESS CONFERENCE.

>> JON, I THINK IT'S PRETTY

CLEAR WHAT HAPPENED HERE.

PRESIDENT OBAMA PICKED THE

WRONG BRIT.

IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A

DISTRACTION FOR THE PRESS,

YOU HAVE GOT TO GO WITH THIS

GUY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Jon: YEAH.

>> IS THAT ONE DIRECTION?

>> NO, IT'S NOT ONE

DIRECTION, JON.

PRINCE HARRY IS IN TOWN, JON,

RIGHT NOW, THAT'S THE BRIT

THAT YOU WANT.

NOT THE PASTEY MP FROM WEST

OXFORDSHARE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE

DASHING SOLDIER PRINCE WHO

MAKES PEOPLE REACT TO HIM

LIKE THIS.

>> FRANKLY, I FOUND HIM TO

BE A VERY ATTRACTIVE YOUNG

MAN.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU JUST HEARD HIM RIGHT

THERE, JON, PRINCE HARRY

JUST GAVE THAT MAN HIS FIRST

ERECTION SINCE 1983.

(LAUGHTER)

>> THAT'S A FACT SO WITH

THAT IN MIND, JUST IMAGINE

WHAT YOU COULD DO TO THE

WHITE HOUSE PRESS CORPS.

I WOULD ASK YOU A LOT MORE

THAN SAY SOMEONE WHO'S IS

DISTINGUISHABLE FROM THESE

OLD WAX STATUES.

JON, THE FACT THAT THE

PRESIDENT WAS SITTING ON

THIS ROYAL ASSET ALL WEEK

AND FAILED TO USE IT MAY BE

THE MOST DAMNING SIGN OF HIS

COMPETENT SO FAR.

>> Jon: I UNDER STARCH.

I ACTUALLY SAW THE PRINCE

LAY A WREATH AT ARTICLETON

CEMETERY AND I WOULD SAY T

WAS VERY MOVING.

>> I SAW IT TOO, I AGREE

WITH YOU.

AND PRINCE HARRY WAS JUST

WARMING UP.

HE THEN WENT ON TO WOUNDED

WARRIORS AND THREW AN

AMERICAN FOOTBALL ADOREABLY

BADLY.

>> Jon: THORT.

>> IN THE WAY TO MANAGE TO

INDICATE BOTH ATHLETICISM

AND ALSO A CHARMING LACK OF

SKILL AT ANY SPORT NOT

PLAYED WHILE MOUNTED ON A

HORSE.

AND THEN, JON, HE GAVE HIS

EYE TO A BABY, JON.

>> Jon: WOW.

>> TO A BABY!

>> Jon: WOW.

>> A BABY WHO HAD ALREADY

HAD TWO EYES!

THAT IS WHO YOU WANT AS YOUR

DISTRACTION WING MAN, JON,

WHEN SOME REPORTER ASKS YOU

A 17 PART QUESTION THAT

ESSENTIALLY BOILS DOWN TO

WHY CAN'T YOU BE A BETTER

PRESIDENT.

>> Jon: I MEAN I DON'T KNOW,

JOHN, I DON'T KNOWN, I DON'T

EVEN THINK MARRY COULD

PROTECT THE PRESIDENT WITH

ALL THIS GOING ON.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE PRESS

STARTS ASK ABOUT THE

BENGHAZI ARB REPORT.

>> YEAH, YOU'RE PROBABLY

RIGHT, JOHN.

>> Jon: I'M SAYING.

>> SORRY, I WAS-- I WAS JUST

THINKING ABOUT THAT

INTERVIEW THE PRINCE HARRY

CUT SHORT IN AFGHANISTAN

WHEN HE SUDDENLY HAD TO GO

FLY AN APACHE HELICOPTER AND

SHOOT BAD GUYS, JON.

>> Jon: CAN WE WATCH IT

AGAIN.

>> IS THERE ANY WAY TO WATCH

IT AGAIN.

>> OF COURSE WE CAN.

ROLL IT AGAIN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: LET ME TELL YOU

SOMETHING, WE COULD REALLY

USE SOMEONE LIKE HARRY.

WE COULD REALLY USE SOMEONE

LIKE HARRY.

>> WHY DO YOU THINK WE STILL

HAVE THE ROYAL FAMILY, JON.

THEY SERVE ABSOLUTELY NO

PURPOSE WHATSOEVER EXCEPT AS

A PLEASANT DISTRACTION.

PLEASE UNDERSTAND, BRITAIN

IS MISERABLE, JON.

WE'RE IN A DOUBLE DIP

RECESSION WITH A PRIME

MINISTER THAT ABSOLUTELY

NOBODY LIKES.

THE ONLY THING THAT GETS US

THROUGH THE DAY ARE THE

COMING AND GOINGS OF A

GENETICALLY A TEN WAITED ON

SOL ESENCE AND THEIR

COLLECTION OF TREMENDOUSLY

SILLY [BLEEP] HATS!

>> Jon: WORDS TO LIVE BY,

THANK YOU, JOHN, JOHN OLVER,

EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE RIGHT

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