Jon Stewart & Anderson Cooper Look at Gaping Holes - Security

  • Aired:  08/17/10
  •  | Views: 152,212

Louie Gohmert wants to protect America from terror babies, but Anderson Cooper keeps interrupting him with questions and facts. (8:52)

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>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY

SHOW".

MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE'VE GOT A GOOD ONE FOR YOU

TONIGHT.

TONIGHT'S GUEST --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

TONIGHT'S GUEST -- YOU'RE VERY

KIND.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

FORMER REPUBLICAN HOUSE MAJORITY

LEADER DICK ARMEY WILL BE

JOINING US.

LET ME JUST SAY IT RIGHT NOW:

THE REST OF THE INTERVIEW WILL

BE ON THE INTERNET.

GAYWATCH WHERE WE LOOK AT ISSUES

OF PARTICULAR IMPORTANCE TO GAYS

AND LESBIANS.

JEW WATCH WHERE I TALK ABOUT HOT

NEW TRIBE CULTURAL TRENDS.

[LAUGHTER]

HAMANTASSAN WITH PINEAPPLE?

THAT'S A SIFARDU.

AND ASHGANAZI?

NO.

JON STEWART AND ANDERSON COOPER

LOOK AT GAPING HOLES IS THIS

LATEST SEGMENT.

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S GREAT FUN ESPECIALLY WHEN

VIEWERS SUGGEST NEW GAPING HOLES

THAT ANDERSON AND I CAN LOOK

INTO.

[LAUGHTER]

LIKE THIS ONE FROM JON AND

ANDERSON LOOK AT GAPING HOLES

FANATIC CONGRESSMAN LOUIS

GOHMERT.

>> I'M AN EASY TARGET.

JON AND ANDERSON CAN HAVE THEIR

FUN BUT LOOK AT THE GAPING HOLE

IN OUR SECURITY.

>> Jon: SURE.

YOU DID NOT SEE THAT COMING, DID

YOU?

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, YOU ASKED FOR IT, LOUIE,

YOU GOT IT.

TONIGHT ON JON STEWART AND

ANDERSON COOPER LOOK AT GAPING

HOLES: SECURITY.

♪ ♪

IT'S REALLY THE [CLICK THAT

[THAT MADE IT.

WHAT IS THE GAPING HOLE IN THE

SECURITY THAT REPRESENTATIVE

GOHMERT IS WORRIED ABOUT?

>> THEY CLAIM PREGNANT

FOREIGNERS ARE COMING THEY'RE

GIVE BIRTH TO FUTURE TERRORISTS.

BABIES WITH U.S. CITIZENSHIP

UNDER THE 14th AMENDMENT THAT

WILL BE RAISED OVERSEAS AND COME

BACK 20 OR 30 YEARS FROM NOW AND

ATTACK US.

>> Jon: THAT IS YOUR GAPING

HOLE?

IT'S A TINY HOLE.

IT'S NOT REALLY GAPING.

IT'S A HOLE WOULD YOU LOOK AT AN

ECLIPSE THROUGH.

IT'S NOT REALLY HAVE A BABY

HERE, TAKE IT AWAY AND RAISE IT

AS A TERROR BABY AND HAVE IT

ATTACK US.

THAT'S NOT A HOLE IT'S A WILL

FERRELL MOVIE "BABY MAKE A BOOM

BOOM: CHANGE IT BEFORE THEY

CHANGE AMERICA. ".

I'M SURE REPRESENTATIVE GOHMERT

REALIZES IT'S EASIER FOR A

TERRORIST TO RECRUIT AMERICANS

THAN TO RAISE A TERROR BABY AND

GET IT TO DO WHAT THEY WANT THEM

TOO.

TAKE 'EM, COOP.

>> THIS IS NOT HAPPENING SAYS

THE F.B.I.

YOU ARE SPREADING SCARE STORIES.

>> IT IS HAPPENING.

>> WHERE?

GIVE ME EVIDENCE.

TELL ME ONE TERROR BABY THAT HAS

BEEN BORN.

CAN YOU TELL ME?

>> THE EXPLOSIONS WILL NOT

HAPPEN FOR 10, 15, 20 YEARS.

AND YOU WILL BE ONE OF THOSE

BLIPS.

>> Jon: WHAT?

TWO THINGS: DID THAT GUY JUST

CALL ANDERSON COOPER A BLIP?

AND TWO, THIS IS AMERICA, LOUIE,

THEY'VE GOT TERROR BABIES?

GUESS WHAT WE GOT MOTHER

(bleep) HERO BABIES!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT TERROR

BABIES.

OH, YEAH!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT UP?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT TERROR

BABIES BECAUSE THESE BABIES

DON'T RUN!

[LAUGHTER]

YET.

[LAUGHTER]

ABOUT A HALF AND A YEAR.

-- YEAR AND A HALF.

YOU HAVE TO FEEL BAD BY LOUIE

GOHMERT HE SEEMED UPSWEAT

ANDERSON COOPER UPSETTING HIM

WITH TPABGTZ.

>> WE FOUND THE HOLE EXISTED.

>> TELL US ABOUT THE RESEARCH.

>> YOU ARE ATTACKING THE

MESSENGER.

ANDERSON YOU ARE BETTER THAN

THIS.

YOU USED TO BE GO.

>> Jon: WHAT?

YOU USED USED TO BE GOOD.

REMEMBER WHEN WERE YOU ON THE

SEMINOLE I LOVED THAT SHOW.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, MAN?

SELLOUT!

[LAUGHTER]

NOW SURE LOUIE GOHMERT MAY

APPEAR TO BE A CRAZY PERSON NOT

UNDERSTANDING THEY HAVE SOUND

PEOPLE THAT HAVE PLACED AN

AFTERNOON CASE DEVICE ON TO HIS

LA PELL AND HE DOESN'T HAVE TO

SHOUT SO PEOPLE WILL HEAR HIM

BUT HE IS PROBABLY FRUSTRATED.

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME HE

HAS BEEN REBUFFED TRYING TO

PROTECT US LIKE WHEN WE PUT

TERRORISTS ON TRIAL IN NEW YORK

CITY.

WE BROUGHT TERRORISTS BACK TO

NEW YORK CITY, BACK TO THE MOST

DENSELY POPULATED AREA.

WE INFLICTED UPON OURSELVES EVEN

MORE TERROR.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: ACTUALLY, NO BECAUSE

THIS TIME WHEN WE BROUGHT THEM

BACK WE HAD THEM IN HANDCUFFS.

[LAUGHTER]

IT WAS -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU

KNOW THIS BUT TERRORISTS ARE NOT

NATURALLY PACKED WITH

EXPLOSIVES.

[LAUGHTER]

GUN POWDER, BABY!

AT THAT TIME THEY WANTED TO SEND

MONEY TO CHINA TO PROTECT

ENDANGERED WILDLIFE BEFORE WE

SEE THAT CLIP I THINK I'LL HAVE

A SNACK.

>> WE'LL BORROW MORE MONEY FROM

THE CHINESE TO POSSIBLY GIVE

THEM MONEY BACK TO CREATE

HABITATS FOR WILD DOGS AND CATS

THAT ARE RARE.

THERE'S NO ASSURANCE THAT IF WE

DID THAT THOSE -- WE WOULDN'T

END UP WITH MOOGOO DOG PAN OR

MOOGOO CAT PAN.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: I DON'T THINK GENERAL

TSO WOULD ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN

BUT IF HELPING CHINESE ANIMALS

WOULD LEAD TO THEM BEING COOKED

AND EATEN, YOU DON'T WANT TO

KNOW WHAT PROTECTING GAYS FROM

HATE CRIMES WOULD DO TO THE

ANIMAL KINGDOM.

>> IF YOU ARE ORIENTED TOWARD

ANIMALS: BESTIALITY, THEN, YOU

KNOW THAT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT

CAN BE HELD AGAINST YOU.

FUR ORIENTED -- IF YOU ARE

ORIENTED TOWARD CORPSES --

[LAUGHTER]

>> Jon: REPRESENTATIVE LOUIS

GOHMERT IS NOT HOMO OR

XENOPHOBIC HE JUST WANTED TO

PROTECT ANIMALS FROM FORCES THAT

WOULD (bleep) OR EAT THEM.

[LAUGHTER]

SPECIFICALLY GAYS AND THE

CHINAMEN.

ARE WE SURE THAT THAT GUY IS NOT

FROM SOUTH CAROLINA?

[LAUGHTER]

SO ANGRY GUY YELLING ON MY CABLE

TELEVISION WE'VE BEEN LISTENING

FOR THREE MINUTES NOW.

I WOULD SAY IT'S ABOUT TIME TO

BRING UP HITLER.

>> WHEN HIT BER WAS BRINGING UP

THE NAZI MOVEMENT IN THE 1920'S.

>> Jon: NOW I'M SURE CONMAN

GOHMERT WOULD MAKE THAT

COMPARISON TO ANY POLICY HE

DISAGREES WITH.

IN THIS INSTANCE HE'S REFERRING

TO PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT BEFORE --

BARACK OBAMA.

>> HE DELIBERATELY SOUGHT TO

ACTIVATE PEOPLE WHO DID NOT

NORMALLY PAY ATTENTION TO

POLITICS.

SUCH PEOPLE WHO WERE A VALUABLE

ADDITION TO HIS POLITICAL BASE.

WE HAVE USEFUL IDIOTS TODAY WHO

WILL SAY WHAT WE NEED IS FOR THE

PRESIDENT TO BE A DICTATOR FOR A

LITTLE WHILE.

>> Jon: SO TEA PARTY SUPPORTER

LOUIE GOHMERT IS SAYING THIS A

POLITICAL LEADER THAT GOES AFTER

THOSE NOT NORMALLY INVOLVED IN

POLITICS BECAUSE THEY ARE EASILY

MANIPULATED USEFUL IDIOTS, A

LEADER LIKE THAT WOULD BE A

MODERN DAY HITLER.

CUE TEE PARTY LEADERS.

>> MOST TEA PARTYERS I KNOW ARE

INDEPENDENT.

THEY ARE NOT REGISTERED IN OTHER

PARTY AND ARE NOT ACTIVE.

>> THEY'VE NEVER BEEN INVOLVED

IN POLITICS.

>> IT'S PEOPLE NEVER INVOLVED IN

POLITICS BEFORE.

>> YOUR JOB IS GOAT THEM

INVOLVED.

>> CAPITALIZE THEM, MOBILIZE

THEM.

>> Jon: I MADE LOUIE HITLER

USING LOUIE'S REASONING.

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