Old Man Fight

  • Aired:  07/31/12
  •  | Views: 21,567

While discussing the significance of Mitt Romney's VP choice, Dick Cheney sparks a slam competition with John McCain over the failed vetting of Sarah Palin in 2008. (4:52)

YOU GUYS -- DO YOU REMEMBER DICK CHENEY, KIND OF AN OLDER GUY,

ABOUT THIS HIGH?

BUT ABOUT THIS PLEASANT?

[ LAUGHTER ]

HE'S BEEN OUT OF SPOTLIGHT FOR A LITTLE WHILE BUT HE GOT HIMSELF A FRESH TICKER AND DECIDED TO

TAKE IT OUT FOR A SPIN ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

>> ABC'S JONATHAN CARL HAS AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH FORMER

VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY.

WHAT HE SAYS MITT ROMNEY SHOULD LOOK FOR IN A VICE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.

>> Jon: OH, LET ME JUST -- WHY ARE YOU ASKING HIM?

[ LAUGHTER ]

I MEAN HE WAS IN CHARGE OF FINDING A VICE PRESIDENT FOR GEORGE W. BUSH AND PICKED HIMSELF.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHO DOES THAT?

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT ALL RIGHT, WHAT DOES DICK CHENEY LOOK FOR IN A VICE PRESIDENT WHEN HE DOESN'T HAVE A

DICK CHENEY TYPE ON HIS SHORT LIST.

>> THE TEST TO GET ON THE SMALL LIST HAS TO BE IS THIS PERSON CAPABLE OF BEING PRESIDENT OF

THE UNITED STATES.

>> Jon: SURE.

THAT'S A GOOD POINT YOU PICK THE WRONG VP YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO.

WHETHER IT'S THE THOUGHTS ON AN INVASION.

>> WE'LL BE GREETED AS LIBERATORS.

>> Jon: I'M SURE IT WAS OR THE STRENGTHS OF POST INVASION NOT GREETING.

THEY ARE IN THE LOST THROES OF THE INSURGENCY.

>> Jon: YEAH, THEY WERE OR THE VP WOULD ENGAGE IN LIGHT HEARTED NEAR MANSLAUGHTER.

>> VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY HAS ACCIDENTALLY SHOT AND INJURED A MAN DURING A HUNTING

TRIP IN TEXAS.

>> Jon: DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?

REMEMBER THAT TIME -- THAT ONE TIME YOU THOUGHT YOUR FRIEND WAS A BIRD AND SHOT HIM?

>> IN THE FACE!

IN THE FACE.

>> Jon: GO ON.

ANY VICE PRESIDENTIAL SEARCHES GONE AWRY IN YOUR MEMORY?

>> THAT WAS ONE OF PROBLEMS McCAIN HAD.

I LIKE GOVERNOR PALIN.

I DON'T THINK SHE PASSED THAT TEST.

>> OF BEING READY.

>> OF BEING READY TO TAKE OVER AND I THINK THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

>> Jon: OH, NO YOU DID NOT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

DID YOU JUST CALL OUT JOHN McCAIN?

WELL YOU JUST WOKE UP A CRANKY GIANT, MY FRIEND AND IT'S ON BECAUSE FOLKS WE GOT OURSELVES A

CLASSIC OLD MAN FIGHT.

>> LET'S GET READY TO GRUMBLE.

♪ ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jon: OLD MAN FIGHT!

OLD MAN FIGHT BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MAN SMELL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

A HEADY MIX OF DISCONTINUED COLOGNES FROM THE 1960'S AND BELLIGERENCE.

OLD MAN SMELL IT'S NOT CHEAP.

TIME FOR ROUND ONE.

GET OFF MY LAWN.

ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE THAT McCAIN?

>> I'M ALWAYS GLAD TO GET THE COMMENTS FOUR YEARS LATER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jon: THAT IS THE SCARIEST LAUGH I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.

IT'S NOT A LAUGH.

IT'S THE LAST SOUND YOU HEAR THAT JOHN McCAIN HAS JUST RIPPED OUT YOUR HEART AND

HOLDING IT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE MISSING SOMETHING OLD FRIEND?

BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU DIDN'T DEFEAT CHENEY BY RIPPING HIS HEART OUT HE DOES THAT EVERY NIGHT AND

PUTS IT BY HIS BED.

COME ON, COUNTERPUNCH.

>> I LIKED GOVERNOR PALIN BUT BASED ON HER BACKGROUND SHE WAS ONLY GOVERNOR FOR TWO YEARS.

>> Jon: AND EVEN THEN SHE COULDN'T GET OUT SOON ENOUGH.

POINT CHENEY.

KEEP IT CLEAN.

ROUND TWO.

>> THIS FRISBEE IS MINE NOW.

>> THE RESPECT THE VICE PRESIDENT.

HE AND I HAD STRONG DISAGREEMENTS AS TO WHETHER WE SHOULD TORTURE PEOPLE OR NOT.

I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD HAVE.

[AUDIENCE REACTS]

>> Jon: OH, I'M SORRY, DID I PICK THE WRONG PRESIDENT YOU TORTURE (bleep)!

McCAIN NOT ONLY PLAYED THE TORTURE CARD HE LICKED THE BAG WITH THE CARD AND STUCK IT ON

CHENEY'S FOREHEAD SO YOU COULD SEE HIM PLAYING IT.

A KNOCKOUT.

WHAT AN OLD MAN FIGHT BEFORE WE GO THOUGH, I JUST WANT TO THANK THE GOOD PEOPLE AT OLD MAN

SMELL, SMELLY MY FRIEND.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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