Money Talks - The Haves & the Soon-to-Haves

  • Aired:  02/02/12
  •  | Views: 89,868

John Hodgman explains that the haves are creating an exclusive world of luxury and privilege for the soon-to-haves to have -- soon. (4:45)

ISN'T SO DIVIDED AFTER ALL.

FOR MORE ON THE GREAT DIVIDE

WE TURN TO RESIDENT DERANGED

MILLIONAIRE JOHN HODGMAN,

JOHN?

>> MONEY TALKS.

>> Jon: JOHN, YOU KNOW THIS

IS SOMETHING PEOPLE HAVE

BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR A

LONG TIME.

IS THERE A SOCIOECONOMIC

DIVIDE IN THIS COUNTRY?

>> HOW DARE YOU?

>> Jon: AND WHAT CAN WE DO

TO BRIDGE IT.

>> I EXPECT THIS KIND OF

CLASS WARFARE SOAK THE RICH

TALK FROM HIPPIES LIKE

WARREN BUFFETT, BUT YOU ARE

DIVIDING AMERICA NOW.

AND NEITHER I NOR THE

POLITICIANS I DONATE MONEY

TO WILL STAND FOR THAT.

>> Jon: WE DO NOT --

>> WE DO NOT ACCEPT THAT

OURS WILL EVER BE A NATION

OF HAVEs AND HAVE NOTS.

WE MUST ALWAYS BE A NATION

OF AND SOON TO HAVEs.

>> WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN A

NATION OF HAVEs AND SOON TO

HAVE.

>> AMERICAS HAVE NEVER BEEN

A PEOPLE WHO DRIVE THROUGH A

NICE NEIGHBORHOOD AND SAY I

HATE PEOPLE WHO DRIVE

THROUGH THE NICE HOUSE, THEY

DRIVE THROUGH AND SAY

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NICE

HOUSE.

GUESS WHAT, WE WILL BE

JOINING YOU SOON.

>> BRAVO.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: YES, WE ALL KNOW

THAT THERE IS NOTHING RICH

PEOPLE LIKE MORE THAN POOR

PEOPLE CIRCLING THEIR

NEIGHBORHOODS AT NIGHT,

SAYING WE WILL BE JOINING

YOU SOON.

>> I SEE SARCASM, YOU SEE,

THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

WHAT YOU DON'T REALIZE IS

THAT OUR PROSPERITY IS

BLAZING A TRAIL FOR THEIR

PROSPERITY.

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE CALL

THAT TRAIL, JON?

>> Jon: THE PROSPERITY TRAIL?

>> WELL, THAT'S ACTUALLY

BETTER THAN WHAT WE HAVE.

WE ARE CALLING IT THE

RESIDENCES AT WINDCHIME

CLIFFS.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

THE POINT IS WE HAVE NOW ARE

CREATING THE EXCLUSIVE WORLD

OF LUX REAL ESTATE AND

PRIVILEGE FOR THE SOON TO

HAVEs TO HAVE.

SOON.

>> Jon: BUT WE'VE TALKED

ABOUT THIS BEFORE.

THIS SOON TO HAVEs IDEA THAT

SOMEBODY 100% OF THE PEOPLE

WILL GET TO BE IN THE 1% IS

MATSUZAKA KLEE IMPOSSIBLE.

>> NO-- IS MATHEMATICALLY

IMPOSSIBLE.

>> NO, JON, IT'S

MATHEMATICALLY AND POSSIBLE.

THINK OF CAPITALISM-- AS AN

EXCITING NEW BUSINESS

OPPORTUNITY WHERE THE 1% ARE

MERELY AT THE TOP OF THE

LADDER FOR NOW BUT SOON YOU

WILL ALL BE ASCENDING,

IMAGINE THE FUN WE'LL ALL

HAVE IF THE TOP OF THE

LADDER WAS NOTHING BENEATH

US.

>> Jon: IT MAKES IT LOOK

LIKE A PYRAMID SCHEME.

>> NO, IT'S NOT A PYRAMID

SCHEME.

A PYRAMID WAS A MONUMENT TO

THE WEALTHIEST EGYPTIANS

BUILT BY SLAVES WHO WORKED

UNTIL THEY DIED.

THAT WAB A INTERNAL METAPHOR

FOR ME TO USE.

FOR OUR COUNTRY TO PUT ON

THE BACK OF OUR MONEY.

>> Jon: AGAIN, I DON'T

UNDERSTAND WHY THEY HAVE TO

PUSH SO HARD THAT OH, WELL

YOU'RE GOING TO BE US TOO.

IT'S THIS MYTH OF EQUAL

OPPORTUNITY.

>> JON, STOP, STOP.

I CAN TALK TO YOU PRIVATELY,

PLEASE.

>> Jon: WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE

OF A SHOW.

THERE'S AN AUDIENCE, THERE'S

AN AUDIENCE.

>> JUST HAVE THEM KILLED.

>> Jon: NO!, NO.

>> OKAY, FINE, WE'LL CONVENE

UNDER MY DOME OF SILENCE.

LOWER MY DOME OF SILENCE.

YES.

(LAUGHTER)

THERE NOW, JON.

NO ONE CAN HEAR US.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: I'M NOT SURE THAT

THAT'S TRUE, ACTUALLY.

>> OF COURSE THEY CAN'T HEAR

US.

NOW JON, WHY ARE YOU DOING

THIS TO MEAN.

I KNOW YOU ARE WEALTHY Y ARE

YOU ASKING.

>> Jon: I UNDERSTAND THAT.

THE SYSTEM NEEDS TO BE MORE

FAIR.

IT IS NOT A QUESTION OF NOT

WANTING PEOPLE TO --

>> I GOT IT.

YOU ARE AFRAID OF A POPULAR

UPRISING.

>> Jon: NO.

>> WELL, YOU DON'T NEED TO

WORRY ABOUT THAT, WHY DO YOU

THINK WE CAME UP WITH ALL

THIS SOON TO AND JOB CREATOR

NONSENSE.

IT'S TO MAKE THESE PEOPLE

THINK THAT WE ARE THEIR

HEROES THEN THEY WILL BLAME

THEMSELVES FOR NOT BEING

RICH.

AND WE KEEP THEM IN A STATE

OF CONSUMERS TORPID

DEPRESSION UNTIL THEY DIE OF

TYPE II DIABETES ON A PILE

OF SCRATCH OUT LOTTERY

TICKETS.

IT'S PERFECT.

HA, HA, HA!

HA, HA, HA,!, HA, HA, HA.

>> Jon: I THINK THE AUDIENCE

CAN ACTUALLY STILL HEAR US.

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING,

THEY CAN'T HEAR US AT ALL.

WHAT?

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> THAT PROVES NOTHING, IT'S

JUST A RANDOM BOTTLE

THROWING IT HAPPENS EVERY

TIME I LAUGH THAT WAY.

>> Jon: LOOK AT THEM NOW.

>> NOT TO WORRY, JON.

BECAUSE I BROUGHT MY ESCAPE

DOME.

UNFORTUNATELY, THERE IS ONLY

ROOM IN IT FOR ONE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: ARE YOU STILL IN THE

REGULAR DOME, JOHN HODGMAN,

EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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