Chinese Oil Drill - Iraqi Oil Biscuits

  • Aired:  06/04/13
  •  | Views: 20,716

If Iraq is a slot machine, then America is a chain-smoking retiree. (3:29)

CAOI.

I DON'T KNOW.

IT DID COST US AT THE SHOW

$2 BILLION.

ANYWAY.

IT'S NOT FAIR THAT CHINA

GETS ALL THAT-- BLACK GOLD,

LIQUID-- IT'S LIKE IRAQ IS A

SLOT-- PORTER AFTER FOR

OTHERS KNOWING THAT ANY

MINUTE IRAQ IS GOING TO PAY

OFF, SAYING WE HAVE TO GET

UP TO THE BATHROOM AND DYING

TO SIT DOWN AND BOOM.

BLAAAAHHHH!

I'M SORRY, COULD WE STOP

THAT?

WHAT ARE THOSE, OIL BISCUITS?

WHAT WERE THOSE?

I CAN'T STAY MAD AT YOU,

IRAQ.

I CAN'T STAY MAD AT YOU,

CHINA.

WE INVADE IRAQ AND CHINA

GETS SPOILS NOT TO MENTION

ALL THAT SWEET MADE IN CHINA

YELLOW RIBBON MAGNET MONEY.

THEY GET IT EVERY WHICH WAY.

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT IS MORE IRONIC THAN

THAT.

>> CHINA OPPOSED THE

LIBERATION OF IRAQ AND TRIED

TO ARMED SADDAL HUSSEIN

REGIME.

>> CHINA.

THEY DO EVERYTHING THEY CAN

TO HURT US, BUT WE STILL END

UP HELPING THEM.

THEY'RE LIKE A BANK OF

AMERICA-- IF BANK OF AMERICA

WAS A COUNTRY.

(APPLAUSE)

HOW DID WE NOT SEE THIS

COMING?

>> THE WAR IS LIKE A DARK

ROOM WHEN YOU OPEN THE DOOR

YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU'RE

GOING TO END UP.

>> YES, I BELIEVE THOSE WERE

THE WORDSES OF DECORATED

GENERAL-- YEAH, I BELIEVE

THAT ALSO ACCURATELY

DESCRIBED THE PARTY AT-- BUT

THE POINT IS THIS, REALLY?

WE'RE DOING JOKES ABOUT THE

WAR IN IRAQ, PEOPLE DYING

AND LIKE WHOOO!

ANDY DICK'S HOUSE-- I

THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING.

--

>> HELPING THE IRAQ PEOPLE

REBUILD THEIR CIVIL SOCIETY.

AND THE FREE INSTITUTIONS

THAT SUSTAIN A DEMOCRACY.

>> PRIOR DIFFICULTIES IRAQ

DOES HAVE AN EMERGING FREE

MARKET WITH AN INDEPENDENT

CENTRAL BANK, AND THOUSANDS

OF SMALL BUSINESSES

OPERATING ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

>> ALL RIGHT, THOSE ARE OUR

VALUES.

WE GOT INTO IRAQ, IT TURNS

OUT WE SHOW THAT-- THE IT

SEEMS IF THE WAR HAD ANOTHER

WINNER THAT WOULD BE US.

>> THE WINNER OF THE IRAQ

WAR WAS FRANCE.

>> SON OF A BITCH!

I'M STARTING THIS THING THIS

WHOLE IRAQ-- WE'LL BE RIGHT

BACK.

Loading...