We're Rich, Bitch!

  • Aired:  03/05/13
  •  | Views: 72,317

The most impressive part of the Wall Street comeback is that it only took five and a half years to repair the gaping wound they inflicted on themselves. (2:17)

Captioning sponsored by COMEDY CENTRAL

>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW." MY NAME IS JON STEWART.

WE'VE GOT A GOOD SHOW TONIGHT.

FORMER SUPREME COURT JUSTICE SANDRA DAY O'CONNOR IS JOINING US THIS EVENING SITTING RIGHT

HERE DISCUSSING THE SUPREME COURT AND HER NEW SITCOM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IF YOU WATCH OUR PROGRAM OR ARE ALIVE, YOU MIGHT BE AWARE THAT THIS COUNTRY HAS BEEN FACING

SOME DIFFICULT ECONOMIC TIMES WHICH HAVE CAUSED A GREAT DEAL OF SOUL SEARCHING ABOUT HOW WE

AS A NATION CAN IDENTIFY AND RECTIFY THE CAUSES OF OUR FINANCIAL MELTDOWN.

WE'VE BEEN WRINGING OUR HANDS ABOUT IT BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS IT'S ALREADY BEEN FIXED.

>> THE DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AT NEVER BEFORE SEEN HEIGHTS.

>> ALL TIME HIGH.

>> MAKING HISTORY TODAY.

>> IF THEY TELL YOU EVERYTHING IS AWFUL, TELL THEM NO IT'S NOT.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> JON: AMEN.

IT'S A MARCH MIRACLE THE NON-INFLATION ADJUSTED VALUES OF STOCKS THAT 30 LARGE COMPANIES

THAT SORT OF TRACKED THE AMERICAN ECONOMY 50 YEARS AGO ARE HIGHER THAN EVER.

WE'RE BACK, BABY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND THE BEST PART IS WE NEVER HAD TO FIX OUR SYSTEMIC ISSUES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT GOT BETTER.

THAT BRINGS US TO OUR NEW SEGMENT "I GUESS THAT'S ONE PROBLEM WE NEVER HAVE TO WORRY

ABOUT AGAIN."

[ LAUGHTER ]

HERE IS THE MOST IMPRESSIVE PART OF THE COMEBACK IT TOOK WALL STREET FIVE AND A HALF YEARS TO

REPAIR THE GAPING WOUND THEY SELF INFLICTED.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S ANOTHER REASON WALL STREET IS BETTER THAN MAIN STREET, FASTER HEALERS.

WHO KNEW THAT AMONGST WALL STREET'S MANY CHARMS AND TALENTS WAS THE HEALING ABILITY OF WOLVERINE.

[LAUGHTER]

ALTHOUGH WE ALREADY KNEW THEY HAD THE DAMAGING POWER OF WOLVERINE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I SURE WISH WE

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