Appetite for Distraction - The Hawking-Oppenheimer Distraction Loop

  • Aired:  02/04/14
  •  | Views: 72,831

Fox News distracts the American people by accusing President Obama of distracting the American people. (3:04)

[ LAUGHTER ]IF THERE'S ONE THING OBAMA HAS

BEEN TRYING TO SQUIRREL US FORHIS ENTIRE TERM IT'S GOT TO BE

THE ECONOMY.

THIS IS A DESPERATE POLITICALPLOY BY THE WHITE HOUSE TO

DISTRACT ATTENTION FROM THEFAILED ECONOMIC POLICY.

>> TODAY WE'RE ADDRESSING THENSA.

WHY AREN'T WE TALKING ABOUT THEECONOMY.

WE HAVE DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT

IT WAS OSAMA BIN LADEN.

WHEN DO WE START TALKING ABOUTTHE ECONOMY AGAIN.

>> Jon: REALLY, EVEN KILLINGBIN LADEN WAS A PART OF THE

MASTER DISTRACTION PLAN.

REALLY?

YOU THINK HE WENT DOWN THEREHEY, LOOK, OSAMA,

WE BOYS BUT HAVE YOU SEEN MYJOBS NUMBERS.

SORRY, BRO I HAVE TO TAKE YOUOUT.

THERE'S ONLY SO MANY PORTUGUESEWATER DOGS CAN I ADOPT.

AT LONG LAST, PRESIDENT OBAMA,IS THERE NOTHING YOU WON'T DO TO

DISTRACT US FROM THE ECONOMY?

>> ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER SO-CALLEDMAJOR ADDRESS FROM PRESIDENT

OBAMA.

THIS WAS AT KNOX COLLEGE INILLINOIS ON THE ECONOMY HOPING

TO DISTRACT ATTENTION AWAY FROMTHE SCANDALS.

>> Jon: WHAT THE (bleep).

I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS USINGTHE SCANDALS TO DISTRACT US FROM

THE ECONOMY AND NOW HE'S USINGTHE ECONOMY TO DISTRACT US FROM

THE SCANDALS OH, GODDAMN IT.

HOLD ON.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

I'M JUST GOING TO GET OUT MYBOOK OF MATHEMATICS --

[LAUGHTER]-- HOLY (bleep) BY THE

TRANSITIVE PROPERTIES OFDISTRACTION WE FIND OURSELVES

DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO BEINGCAUGHT IN A HAWKING-OPPENHEIMER

DISTRACTION LOOP FROM WHICH WECAN NEVER DIVERT OUR ATTENTION

LONG ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT --SQUIRREL -- WHAT IS HAPPENING.

WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT IS FOX TRYING TO ACCOMPLISHHERE?

[LAUGHTER]>> THEY'VE ALLOWED AN ENDLESS

PARADE OF POLITICAL POSTURINGAND SCANDALS TO DISTRACT FROM

GROWING OUR ECONOMY ANDSTRENGTHENING THE MIDDLE CLASS.

>> Jon: OH, NO IT'S BEGUN THEDISTRACTION LOOP.

BUT I HAD AN IRS HEARINGSCHEDULED FOR -- NOOOOOO.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]WAIT, HOLD ON.

[ APPLAUSE ]UNLESS, OF COURSE, FOX NEWS IS

ATTEMPTING TO DISTRACT US FROMNOTICING THAT RATHER THAN BEINGA NEWS

ORGANIZATION THEY ARE A SPITEDRIVEN ANGER MACHINE ROOTED IN

THE FEAR THAT ANY CHANGE IN THESTATUS QUO WILL ERODE OURNATION'S POWER STRUCTURE ANDLEAD TO AN INTERNMENT CAMP

FOR REAL AMERICANS POWERED BYSOLAR ENERGY AND TACOS --

WAIT -- HARD SHELL GAY TACOS.

PROBABLY THE BLACK HOLE THING.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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