The Vagina Ideologues

  • Aired:  02/13/12
  •  | Views: 278,600

Rick Santorum and Catholic Church leaders object to the Obama administration's birth control health plan requirement. (6:31)

ACTUALLY, THE WHITNEY HOUSTON

COVERAGE WAS PRETTY MUCH THE

ONLY NEWS I SAW OVER THE BREAK.

I TRIED TO KEEP AWAY FROM THE

POLITICS NEWS.

BESIDES, NOTHING THAT WAS REALLY

HAPPENING BUT ANOTHER STRING OF

PRIMARY VICTORIES FOR OLD

FRONT-RUNNER MITTINGTON ROMNEY.

>> HUGE NIGHT FOR RICK SANTORUM.

>> A CLEAN SWEEP ACROSS THE

BOARD FOR RICK SANTORUM.

>> REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL

CANDIDATE TOOK HOME A HUGE WIN

IN ALL THREE STATE, MISSOURI,

MINNESOTA, AND COLORADO.

>> Jon: WHAT THE HELL?

(LAUGHTER)

AMERICA, I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR

ONE WEEK.

(LAUGHTER)

ONE WEEK!

I EXPECT YOU TOW GO A LITTLE

CRAZY, MAYBE HAVE A PARTY,

INVITE MEXICO OVER, DRAW A PENIS

ON CANADA'S HEAD WHILE IT'S

SLEEPING.

(LAUGHTER)

MAYBE GRAB A CAMERA CREW, WALK

AROUND INFORMING INDIVIDUALS

SOMEONE THEY LOVE DIED.

BUT MAKING THIS GUY THE

FRONT-RUNNER?

OH, MAN!

NOW WE'RE GOING TO START

FIGHTING ABOUT RELIGION AND

PUBLIC POLICY AGAIN, AREN'T WE?

ALL RIGHT.

>> LAST MONTH, THE OBAMA

ADMINISTRATION SAID THE NEW

HEALTH CARE LAW RISHZ RELIGIOUS

HOSPITALS, COLLEGES, AND OTHER

INSTITUTIONS TO INCLUDE

CONTRACEPTIVE COVERAGE IN THEIR

INSURANCE PLANS.

THAT SET OFF A FIRESTORM AMONG

MANY CATHOLICS.

>> Jon: YES, WE ARE MEN OF GOD!

THAT MONEY MUST NOT BE USED FOR

CONTRACEPTION.

THAT MONEY HAS BEEN SET ASIDE

FOR OUT OF COURT ALTAR BOY

SETTLEMENTS AND, OF COURSE, SOME

PRIEST RELOCATION.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

RESPECT OUR AUTHORITY!

(APPLAUSE)

SERIOUSLY, A FIRESTORM AMONG

MANY CATHOLICS OR THE OLD DUDES

WHO RUN IT?

>> THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION IS

SHREDING THE FIRST AMENDMENT,

STEPPING ON RELIGIOUS

INSTITUTIONS.

>> Jon: OLD DUDES WHO RUN IT.

(APPLAUSE)

BY THE WAY, THE BIRTH CONTROL

HEALTH PLAN REQUIREMENT ACTUALLY

EXEMPTED... I TOLD YOU.

LISTEN...

(APPLAUSE)

FIRST DAY BACK, WE COULD HAVE

FOUND THIS (BLEEP) AND WE DID

NOT.

WE SPENT A GOOD THREE HOURS ON

THIS.

THE BIRTH CONTROL HEALTH PLAN

REQUIREMENT DID EXEMPT CHURCHES.

BUT NOT CHURCH AFFILIATED

INSTITUTIONS LIKE CATHOLIC

HOSPITALS AND CHARITIES.

SO, PRESIDENT OBAMA, HOW WILL

YOU KEEP THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

FROM SULLYING ITSELF BY HAVING

TO PAY FOR ONE OF ITS HOSPITALS'

JEWISH LADY DOCTOR'S... YOU KNOW

MISCHEF.

>> IF A WOMAN'S EMPLOYER IS A

CHARITY OR HOSPITAL THAT HAS A

RELIGIOUS OBJECTION TO PROVIDING

CONTRACEPTIVE SERVICES AS PART

OF THEIR HEALTH PLAN, THE

INSURANCE COMPANY-- NOT THE

HOSPITAL, NOT THE CHARITY-- WILL

BE REQUIRED TO REACH OUT AND

OFFER THE WOMAN CONTRACEPTIVE

CAREFREE OF CHARGE.

RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATIONS WON'T

HAVE TO PAY FOR THESE SERVICES

AND NO RELIGIOUS INSTITUTION

WILL HAVE TO PROVIDE THESE

SERVICES DIRECTLY.

>> OH.

WELL, I GUESS WE'RE DONE HERE.

(LAUGHTER)

COMPROMISE MADE, EVERYBODY

HAPPY.

>> THIS IS SIMPLY SOMEONE TRYING

TO IMPOSE THEIR VALUES ON

SOMEBODY ELSE WITH THE ARM OF

THE GOVERNMENT.

>> AND I FRANKLY DON'T CARE WHAT

DEAL HE TRIES TO CUT, THIS IS A

MAN WHO IS DEEPLY COMMITTED.

IF HE WINS REELECTION, HE WILL

WAGE WAR ON THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

THE MORNING AFTER HE'S

REELECTED.

>> Jon: OH, WOW.

(BOOS)

IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME SORT OF

PILL YOU COULD TAKE TO

PREVENT...

(LAUGHTER)

... OBAMA'S REELECTION THE

MORNING AFTER.

A PLAN "B" FOR HIS REELECTION,

IF YOU WILL.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT APPEARS

THAT RICK SANTORUM...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I THINK WE'RE FINDING THE

AUDIENCE'S G-SPOT.

(LAUGHTER)

IT APPEARS... NOT THAT I WOULD

KNOW BECAUSE I WOULDN'T KNOW.

(LAUGHTER)

IT APPEARS, THOUGH, THAT RICK

SANTORUM EARLIER IN THAT CLIP

TAKES ISSUE WITH THE PRESIDENT

IMPOSING HIS VALUES ON OTHER

AMERICANS WITH THE GOVERNMENT'S

ARM.

WHEN EVERYONE KNOWS WHOSE ARM IT

IS YOU USE TO IMPOSE YOUR

VALUES.

>> AS LONG AS ABORTION IS

LEGAL-- AT LEAST ACCORDING TO

THE SUPREME COURT-- LEGAL IN

THIS COUNTRY, WE WILL NEVER HAVE

REST BECAUSE THAT LAW DOES NOT

COMPORT WITH GOD'S LAW.

>> I AM FOR A FEDERAL MARRIAGE

AMOUNT AND REINSTATING "DON'T

ASK, DON'T TELL."

RIGHTS COME TO US FROM GOD AND

WHEN GOD GIVES US RIGHT HE IS

DOESN'T SAY HERE ARE YOUR

RIGHTS, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO

DO WITH THEM.

THAT, IN FACT, HE HAS LAWS THAT

WE MUST ABIDE BY.

>> Jon: GOT IT.

SO IN THE AMERICAN SYSTEM OF

GOVERNMENT YOU'RE SAYING WE

SHOULD ALL BE FREE TO LIVE BY

CHRISTIAN LAW.Ñi

I THINK THAT... I'VE GOT TO THE

SAY, THAT'S THE KIND OF RIGID

THINKING THAT GOT SANTORUM

DRUMMED OUT OF THE SENATE.

NOBODY IN THE COOLING SAUCER OF

OUR DEMOCRACY IS GOING TO TAKE

THAT DEBATE NOW.

>> SENATOR BLUNT FROM MISSOURI,

ONE OF YOUR REPUBLICAN

COLLEAGUES, HE WANTS AN

AMENDMENT NOW THAT WOULD ALLOW

ANY GROUP THAT HAD A MORAL

OBJECTION TO THIS TO NOT HAVE TO

PAY FOR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO PUSH

THAT IN THE SENATE?

>> OF COURSE I'D BE LAPPY TO

SUPPORT IT.

AND INTEND TO SUPPORT IT.

>> Jon: REALLY?

BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT WOULD

BE?

(BLEEP)ING CHAOS.

YOU REALIZE THAT, RIGHT?

THAT'S CHAOS.

ALL RIGHT, I'M A CHRISTIAN

SCIENTIST, I DON'T HAVE TO

PROVIDE ANY HEALTH CARE, I DON'T

BELIEVE IT IN.

IT'S UP TO YOUR BOSS.

I WORK FOR THE HEAD FOOTBALL

COACH OF MY HIGH SCHOOL, I GOT

MY HEALTH CARE PLAN AND IT SAYS

"WALK IT OFF, YOU PUSS ZI."

(LAUGHTER)

YOU CAN'T DECIDE ON YOUR OWN.

WE'RE EITHER IN A SOCIETY OR NOT

A SOCIETY.

I'M AN EMPLOYER!

AND I PERSONALLY BELIEVE IN THE

HEALING POWER OF COMEDY.

(LAUGHTER)

I ALONG WITH THE READER'S DIGEST

MAGAZINE BELIEVE LAUGHTER IS THE

BEST MEDICINE AND YOU KNOW,

APPARENTLY ONE OF MY WRITERS HAS

BEEN FIGHTING THE FLU FOR

SEVERAL WEEKS NOW.

HEY, ELLIOTT, COME ON OUT HERE.

THIS IS ONE OF OUR WRITERS,

ELLIOTT.

>> THIS IS NOT ANOTHER TREATMENT

IS IT?

>> Jon: YEAH.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> WHY CAN'T YOU GIVE ME

ZITHROMAX?

>> Jon: I DON'T BELIEVE IN

ZITHROMAX, THAT'S WHY.

(LAUGHTER)

SO I GUESS FOR REPUBLICANS

LIBERTY MEANS LIBERTY FOR

EMPLOYERS.

EMPLOYEES CAN GO (BLEE

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