The Big Bank Fury

  • Aired:  08/08/13
  •  | Views: 40,171

The SEC settles with big banks involved in the 2008 global financial crash and then brags about it. (4:59)

>> WELCOME TO THE DAILY SHOW,

MY NAME IS JOHN OLIVER.

I'M STILL HERE FOR JON

STEWART WHO IS SPENDING THE

SUMMER FULFILLING THE TERMS

OF HIS CRAZY UNCLE'S WILL BY

SPENDING THE WHOLE TIME IN A

HAUNTED HOUSE.

HE DOESN'T LIKE G-G-G

GOSSES.

MY JEST A JUNIOR SENATOR

FROM THE STATE OF NEW YORK,

KIRSTEN GUILT HE BRAND WILL

BE WITH US.

BUT FIRST WE START TONIGHT

WITH MEMORIES.

WHO REMEMBERS WHEN THE WALL

STREET BANKERS TURNED OUR

FINANCIAL SYSTEM INTO A FREE

WILLING CASINO WITH A GLOBAL

CRASH IN WHICH OUR MONEY

DISAPPEARED.

DO YOU REMEMBER?

YEAH, YEAH.

I REMEMBER THAT TOO.

WELL, GUESS WHAT?

THE CHICKENS ARE FINALLY

COMING HOME TO ROOST.

>> THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE

ANNOUNCED TODAY IT IS GOING

AFTER BANK OF AMERICA, DOJ

SAYS AMERICA'S SECOND

LARGEST BANK LIED ABOUT THE

RISKINESS OF 850 MILLION

DOLLARS IN SHARES OF HOME

LOANS THAT WERE SOLD TO

INVESTORS.

>> ANOTHER BIG BANK COULD BE

FACING TROUBLE FROM THE

FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

>> JPMORGAN CHASE REPORTS

THAT A PRELIMINARY JUSTICE

DEPARTMENT INVESTIGATION

FOUND THE BANK DID INDEED

BREAK THE LAW WHILE SELLING

RESIDENTIAL MORTGAGE BONDS

FROM 2005 TO 2007.

>> YES!

ACCOUNTABILITY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> WE GOT THEM, BABY!

WHOOO!

>> ACCOUNTABILITY.

>> YES!

YES, SURE, JUSTICE HAS BEEN

A LONG TIME COMING BUT THAT

IS JUST GOING TO MAKE IT ALL

THE SWEETER NOW.

SO LET'S START WITH BANK OF

AMERICA.

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO

JAIL?

AND JUST FOR THE SAKE OF

SIMPLICITY ROUND IT UP TO

THE NEAREST 100.

>> THIS IS A CIVIL SUIT SO

NO ONE IS GOING TO JAIL.

(LAUGHTER)

NO ONE, REALLY?

THAT'S-- NOW I'M TO THE

GOING TO BE NEEDING THESE

CELEBRATION DOVES I WAS

GOING TO RELEASE.

(LAUGHTER)

WE DIDN'T DRILL HOLES IN THE

BOX-- HOLD ON, HOLD ON, NO,

THERE'S A NOTE TO.

TO WHOMEVER FINDS US.

I THINK IT WAS A SUICIDE.

THE LACK OF WALL STREET

ACCOUNTABILITY IS COMPLETE

BULL [BLEEP].

WE CAN'T GO ON, LOVE THE

DOVES.

COME ON.

IS THIS-- I'M SORRY, DOVES.

I'M SORRY.

I'M DISAPPOINTED TOO.

IS THIS REALLY ANY SURPRISE,

THOUGH.

EVERY TIME REGULATOR DOES GO

AFTER WALL STREET IT ALWAYS

ENDS THE SAME WAY.

>> PART OF A SETTLEMENT

JPMORGAN DID NOT ADMIT OR

DENY WRONGDOING.

>> CITIBANK DENIES ANY

WRONGDOING BUT SAYS IT WAS

IN THE BANG'S BEST INTEREST

TO SETTLE.

>> UBS DID NOT ADMIT

WRONGDOING.

>> GOLDMAN SACHS SETTLED

EARLY WITHOUT ADMITTING

WRONGDOING.

>> SETTLED.

SO IT SEEMS WALL STREET

REGULATION IS REALLY JUST

LIKE THE MIDDLE EAST PEACE

PROCESS.

NO ONE GOES TO JAIL AND IT

ALL ENDS WITH A BUNCH OF

HALF ASSED SETTLEMENTS THAT

SEEM TO MAKE EVERYONE ANGRY.

(APPLAUSE)

>> SO WE MIGHT NOT GET THE

EMOTIONAL CLOSURE OF HAVING

THEM ADMIT WHAT THEY DID OR

THE PHYSICAL CLOSURE OF

HAVING THEM GO TO JAIL SO

HOW ABOUT SOME FINANCIAL

JUSTICE.

CAN WE AT LEAST HIT THEM

WHERE IT HURTS.

>> GOLDMAN SACHS THE GIANT

WALL STREET FIRM HAS AGREED

TO PAY $550 MILLION IN A

SETTLEMENT WITH THE SEC.

>> OKAY, THAT'S NOT NOTHING,

HALF A BILLION DOLLARS, I

DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, THAT

HAS GOT TO HURT.

>> 550 MILLION, BY THE WAY,

IS ABOUT THREE DAYS REVENUE

FOR GOLDMAN.

>> THREE DAYS?

A STOMACH FLU LASTS LONGER

THAN THREE DAYS.

IF FEDERAL REGULATORS REALLY

WANTED TO PUNISH THE BANKERS

THEY WOULD HAVE SKIPPED THE

FINE ALL TOGETHER AND JUST

FED THEM SOME OLD SUSHI

INSTEAD.

(LAUGHTER)

ARE WE SOMEHOW SUPPOSED TO

FEEL SATISFIED WITH THIS

KIND OF JUSTICE?

BECAUSE THIS FEELS LIKE, UM,

YEAH, WHAT'S ANOTHER ANALOGY

T FEELS LIKE THE BANKING

EQUIVALENT OF HEY, I DON'T

KNOW WHO GAVE HER THAT BLACK

EYE BUT I'M A NICE GUY SO

HERE'S 20 BUCKS, GO BUY SOME

MAKEUP.

THESE SETTLEMENTS MUST HAVE

FELT LIKE A HOLLOW VICTORY

FOR FEDERAL REGULATORS.

>> TODAY SETTLEMENT IS A

STARK REMINDER, A VERY STARK

REMINDER THAT THERE WILL BE

A HEAVY PRICE TO BE PAID IF

FIRMS VIOLATE THE

PRINCIPLESES FUNDAMENTAL TO

THE SECURITIES LAWS.

>> TODAY'S SETTLEMENT SENDS

A POWERFUL MESSAGE OF

DETERANCE AND ACCOUNT

ABLINGTED.

>> WAIT, YOU SETTLED.

AND NOW YOU'RE BRAGGING

ABOUT IT, SETTLING IS NOT

SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF.

SETTLING IS SOMETHING YOU DO

WHEN YOU BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS

TICKING AND YOU'RE SICK OF

DATING --

>> SURE, SURE, HE'S NOT BRAD

PITT BUT HE HAS A JOB AND MY

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