Despicable Wein 2

  • Aired:  07/24/13
  •  | Views: 67,105

Following another scandal, New York City wonders just how long ago candidate Anthony Weiner fell off the d**k wagon and whether it can trust him to get back on it. (6:04)

AND I'M GOING TO.

LOOK, THIS IS OLD.

THIS IS ALL A LOT OF FUN.

THE PROBLEM IS, NEW YORKERS HAVE

TO VOTE FOR A MAYOR IN 48 DAYS.

SO WE NEED TO KNOW HOW LONG AGO

CANDIDATE WEINER FELL OFF THE

DICK WAGON AND WHETHER WE CAN

TRUST HIM AT ALL TO GET BACK ON

IT.

>> SOME HAVE ASKED THE QUESTION,

WHERE DOES THIS FIT IN, A TIME

LINE OF THE CONTINUUM OF THE

RESIGNATION.

SOME OF THESE THINGS HAPPENED

BEFORE MY RESIGNATION.

SOME OF THEM HAPPENED AFTER THE

RESIGNATION.

THE RESIGNATION WAS NOT A POINT

IN TIME THAT WAS NEARLY AS

IMPORTANT TO MY WIFE AND ME AS

THE CHALLENGES IN OUR MARRIAGE.

>> John: IT'S A TIME LINE ISSUE.

IT'S A TIME LINE ISSUE.

IF YOU HADN'T CHOSEN --

CHOSEN -- TO RUN FOR MAYOR, IT

WOULD ONLY BE BETWEEN YOU AND

YOUR WIFE.

BUT FOR THE REST OF US, THE TIME

LINE MEANS EVERYTHING.

SO LET'S REVIEW.

IN JUNE OF 2011, AFTER WE WERE

ALL INTRODUCED TO YOUR PENIS --

WE DIDN'T WANT TO BE.

WE DIDN'T WANT TO BE INTRODUCED.

YES, TECHNICALLY IT WAS STILL IN

ITS WRAPPER, BUT NONETHELESS WE

MET HIM.

FINALLY, AFTER A BUNCH OF

NONSENSE ABOUT YOUR TWITTER

ACCOUNT BEING HACKED, YOU

ADMITTED THAT IT WAS YOU AND

THEN YOU TELL US THIS.

>> THE FIRST THING I NEED TO DO

IS MAKE SURE THAT OBVIOUSLY THIS

NEVER EVER HAPPENS AGAIN.

>> John: RIGHT.

AND THAT IS WHERE YOU DREW THE

PENIS IN THE SAND.

NEVER EVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

AFTER THAT, YOU RESIGNED.

YOUR TIME MOVES ON.

YOUR BULGING JUNK THANKFULLY

SLIPPING INTO EVERYONE'S PAST.

AND THEN IN JULY 2012, YOU AND

YOUR FAMILY EMERGE IN PEOPLE

MAGAZINE WHERE YOU CLAIM TO BE A

CHANGED MAN.

TIME MOVES ON TO THIS PAST

APRIL.

>> BACK IN APRIL WHEN WEINER

ANNOUNCED CANDIDACY FOR NEW YORK

MAYOR HE SAID MORE ALLEGATIONS

COULD EMERGE.

>> IF ROTTERS WANT TO GO TRY TO

FIND MORE, I CAN'T SAY THAT

THEY'RE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO

FIND ANOTHER PICTURE.

>> John: AND THAT'S OKAY.

AS LONG AS ANY PICTURES THAT

EMERGE DATE FROM BEFORE HIS

PLEDGE TO STOP SEXT-ING.

IN JUNE, 2011B.C. WHICH MEANS

BEFORE CONFESSION OR BEFORE

[BLEEP], WHICHEVER YOU PREFER,

WHICHEVER YOU PREFER.

SO WHEN YESTERDAY THIS

EMERGED... (LAUGHING)... IT WAS

A PROBLEM.

BECAUSE LOOK.

LOOK AT THE DATE.

LOOK AT WHEN HE SENDS THESE

PHOTOS.

>> WEINER SAID HE CONTINUED

SENDING INAPPROPRIATE MESSAGES

TO YOUNG WOMEN LONG AFTER

RESIGNING IN THE SCANDAL TWO

YEARS AGO.

>> ACCORDING TO THE WEBSITE THE

RELATIONSHIP STARTED JUST ONE

WEEK BEFORE THIS PEOPLE MAGAZINE

PROFILE OF HIM AND HIS FAMILY

RAN WITH THE HEADLINE, "I FEEL

LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON."

>> John: AND THAT IS WHY YOU

HAVE A PROBLEM HERE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

UNLESS, UNLESS, UNLESS IN HIS

DEFENSE, UNLESS WHAT YOU SAID "I

FEEL LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON"

YOU MEANT FROM MY WIFE.

I FEEL LIKE HAVING A DIFFERENT

PERSON FROM THE ONE YOU SEE

FORCING A SMILE NEXT TO ME IN

THIS PHOTOGRAPH.

SO THE DISGUSTING DETAILS OF

THIS STORY ARE A PROBLEM FOR

WEINER, BUT THEY'RE ALSO A

PROBLEM FOR THE NEWSIES TRYING

TO COVER THEM.

>> MOST OF THE EXCHANGE IS TOO

GRAPHIC FOR NETWORK TELEVISION.

>> John: YOU'RE RIGHT.

BUT HERE'S THE THING.

WE'RE NOT ON NETWORK TELEVISION.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THIS IS BASIC CABLE, MY FRIENDS.

AND SURE WE MAY BE BLEEPD BUT WE

WILL NOT BE EMBARRASSED OR

SILENCED.

WHAT I'M ACTUALLY ALLOWED TO

READ THESE EXCHANGES I'M NOT

PHYSICALLY ABLE TO DO IT.

THEY'RE JUST TOO REVOLTING WHICH

IS WHY WE HAVE A SPECIAL

COMPUTER TEXT-TO-VOICE MACHINE.

THE PERVERT-TRON5000.

READ THE FIRST UPSETTING TEXT

MESSAGE.

>> I START TO [BLEEP] SO HARD.

YOUR [BLEEP] ALMOST HIT YOU IN

THE FACE.

>> John: HOW IS IS THAT EVEN

SEXY?

THAT'S A FUNDAMENTAL LACK OF

UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT BREASTS

CAN DO.

THEN I'M GOING TO TAKE ONE OF

YOUR BOOBS AND SPANK YOU WITH

IT, YEAH.

THEN WE GO TO SLEEP SO I LAY ONE

OF YOUR BOOBS ON THE WINDOW SILL

TO KEEP OUT THE COLD AIR.

SEXY.

AND BY THE WAY, THE MAINSTREAM

NEWS CAN SAY... THEY CAN

ACTUALLY SAY THE WORDS THAT

WEINER TEXTED.

THEY'VE ALREADY SAID ALL OF THEM

JUST NOT IN THE RIGHT HORRIBLE

ORDER.

>> ARE YOU.

PUT ON.

SOME SHOES.

I WOULDN'T SPREAD YOUR.

ASS.

SO MY.

[BLEEP].

BLEEP.

John: YOU DID IT.

YOU REPORTED THE NEWS.

YOU SAY THE WORDS MORE THAN YOU

EVER KNOW.

WHAT IS CLEAR AT THIS POINT IS

THIS IS BEYOND JUST A SERIES OF

JOKES.

NO, IT IS IS DEFINITELY ALSO

THAT.

BUT THIS IS SOMETHING MORE

SERIOUS.

>> HE NEEDS TO BE IN CONTINUAL

TREATMENT.

>> SOME SORT OF COMPULSIVE

BEHAVIOR.

>> THERE IS SOMETHING THAT IS

ADDICTIVE ABOUT HIS PERSONALITY.

>> John: I THINK THEY'RE RIGHT.

ANTHONY WEINER DOES SUFFER FROM

A DEBILITATING ADDICTION BUT

IT'S NOT THE ONE THEY'RE

THINKING OF.

HE'S ADDICTED TO RUNNING FOR

OFFICE.

AND IF HE COULD JUST GIVE THAT

UP, HE COULD LIVE A FULL,

PRODUCTIVE LIFE AS AN INTERNET

SEX FREAK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT

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