Let's Go Anywhere - President Obama Returns From Asia

  • Aired:  11/15/10
  •  | Views: 132,049

Mr. Popular International Fancy Pants returns to America after his disastrous 10-day trip to Asia. (2:54)

( THEME SONG PLAYING )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: HEY, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW."

MY NAME IS JON STEWART, AND I AM

DOING TONIGHT'S PROGRAM WITH MY

FULL COMPLEMENT OF ELECTROLYTES.

OH, YEAH.

I MY GUEST TONIGHT MARION JONES.

WE'RE GOING TO RACE EACH OTHER.

I'LL BE USING MY CAR.

( LAUGHTER ).

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BARACK

OBAMA'S TEN-DAY POSTELECTION

ASIAN SOJOURN HAS ENDED.

IT WAS A TRIP FILLED WITH

HIGH-LEVEL POLITICAL INTRIGUE,

POMP, CIRCUMSTANCE, AND THE KIND

OF CITIZEN OF THE WORLD

THEATRICS THAT HAVE SO ENDEARED

THE PRESIDENT TO HIS CRITICS.

[SPEAKING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

>> Jon: DON'T BELIEVE HIM,

INDONESIA.

ASK FOR HIS INDONESIAN BIRTH

CERTIFICATE.

HE'S ACTUALLY FROM HAWAII.

HE'S TRICKING YOU.

IT'S WHAT HE DOES TO BECOME

PRESIDENT OF YOUR LAND.

( LAUGHTER )

BUT, OF COURSE, NOW MR. POPULAR

INTERNATIONAL FANCY PANTS, I AM

THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF THE

AMERICAN DREAM, IS BACK HOME IN

AMERICA.

OH, LOOK AT THAT, HIS OWN

HELICOPTER.

OOOH.

LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE THINKS HE'S

TOO GOOD TO SPLIT A FARE WITH

ANOTHER PASSENGER WHO IS ALSO

HEADED TO THE DOWNTOWN D.C.

AREA.

( LAUGHTER )

WELL, I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR ABOUT

HIS TRIP.

I BET HE THINKS HE HIT A HOME

RUN.

>> INSTEAD OF HITTING HOME RUNS,

SOMETIMES WE'RE GOING TO HIT

SINGLES, BUT THEY'RE REALLY

IMPORTANT SINGLES.

( LAUGHTER )

>> Jon: AT LEAST HE'S NOT

USING CRICKET REFERENCES.

( LAUGHTER )

HE SEEMS SAD.

MR. PRESIDENT, IF YOU'RE NOT

GOING TO BLOW YOUR OWN TRUMPET,

WHAT IS EVERYONE ELSE GOING TO

DO TO YOUR TRUMPET?

OH, MY GOD, MR. PRESIDENT, HIDE

YOUR TRUMPET.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA'S SHEA TRIP

WAS A TOTAL DISASTER.

-HIS ECONOMIC VIEW REJECTED.

>> NO RESOLUTION WITH CHINA OVER

THEIR CURRENCY VALUATION.

>> HE FAILED TO REACH A FREE

TRADE AGREEMENT.

>> NO COOLING OF TENSIONS

BETWEEN INDIA AND PAKISTAN.

>> REFUSED TO CONDEMN THE GLOBAL

JIHAD.

>> HE'S LOST HIS MOJO.

>> THIS IS A TROUBLED TIME IN

AMERICA, WHY IS HE GOING ON THIS

LONG TRIP?

>> THIS IS AN EXTRAORDINARILY

EXPENSIVE TRIP.

>> ANOTHER CHAPTER IN THE GREAT

AMERICAN APOLOGY TOUR.

>> REALLY NICE PHOTO OP.

>> Jon: WHY DID HE GO, AN WHEN

HE WENT, WHY DID HE [BLEEPED] IT

UP SO BADLY?

I HAVEN'T SEEN A TRIP REVIEWED

THIS BADLY SINCE THE GRI

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