Wait Wait... Don't Tell Him!

  • Aired:  10/28/13
  •  | Views: 84,646

Jessica Williams explains why it's so important that President Obama be kept in the dark regarding spying and health care. (4:28)

[CHEERS & APPLAUSE]>> Jon: TOOK ABOUT THREE WEEKS

SINCE ALL OF US FOUND OUT THAT HEALTHCARE.GOV WASN'T DOING

WELL. AND BY ALL OF US I MEANALL OF US

>> KATHLEEN SEBELIUSTOLD CNN THAT

THE PRESIDENT DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE WEBSITE PROBLEMS UNTIL AFTER

ITS TURBULENT LAUNCH.

>> WHEN DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS APROBLEM?

>> IT BECAME CLEAR FAIRLY EARLY ON.

THE FIRST COUPLE DAYS THAT -- >> BUT NOT BEFORE THAT THOUGH?

NOT BEFORE OCTOBER 1?

>> Jon: YOU DIDN'T KNOW THERE WOULD BE PROBLEMS UNTIL THE

DAY -- THIS IS YOUR SIGNATURE PROGRAM.

YOUR NAME IS ON IT.

YOU'RE LIKE IF THE CHARMIN BEAR JUST FOUND OUT WHAT PEOPLE DO

WITH HIS TOILET PAPER.

YOU PUT THIS WHERE?

I'VE BEEN RUBBING THIS ON MY FACE FOR YEARS!

MAY BE A BIT CONCERNING THAT THEPRESIDENT WASN'T KEPT IN THE

LOOP ABOUT THE PROGRAM NAMED AFTER HIM. BUT IN HIS DEFENSE,

THERE APPEAR TO BE VERY FEW LOOPS HE'S IN.

>> FOR THE FIRST TIME, THE GOVERNMENT REVEALED THAT IT

MONITORED SOME 35 WORLD LEADERS, INCLUDING ANGELA

MERKEL. PERHAPS MORE SHOCKINGIS THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS

KEPT IN THE DARK ABOUT ITFOR FIVE YEARS.

>> Jon: WHAT?

SO FOR FIVE YEARS.

I ASSUME THE PRESIDENT IS BEING PRESENTED WITH THE FINDINGS FROM

THIS WORLD LEADER MONITORING.

NEVER OCCURRED TO HIM IN FIVE YEARS, HOW ARE WE GETTING THIS?

DOES THE PRESIDENT BELIEVE IN SURVEILLANCE FAIRIES?

THIS IS CRAZY.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, IF THE PRESIDENT WASN'T AWARE THAT WE

WERE SPYING ON OUR ALLIES, WHO GAVE THE GO AHEAD TO SPY ON OUR

ALLIES?

>> AN NSA SPOKES WOMAN SAID THATIT TAKES ORDERS FROM SOMETHING

CALLED THE NATIONALINTELLIGENCE PRIORITIES FRAME

WORK AND NOT THE PRESIDENT.

>> Jon: WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS THIS?

[LAUGHTER]DID WE FIND OUT ABOUT IT BECAUSE

OF SOME KIND OF NIPF SLIP?

FOR MORE ON THE PRESIDENT'STOTAL IGNORANCE OF WHAT

THE ADMINISTRATION IS DOING, WEGO

TO JESSICA WILLIAMS.

JESSICA! [CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

HOW CAN THE PRESIDENT BE UNAWAREOF WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HIM?

>> BECAUSE NOBODY TELLS HIM, JON.

YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE PRESIDENT IS A VERY SENSITIVE

MAN.

HE DOESN'T HANDLE BAD NEWS WELL.

HE'S A CRYER.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: LIKE A JOHN BOEHNER

CRYER?

>> PLEASE, JON, THE PRESIDENT ISSO EMOTIONAL.

THE GUY CRIES WHEN PEOPLELITTER TOLD HIM TO SUCK IT UP.

>> Jon: WHAT ELSE HAS THE PRESIDENT NOT BEEN TOLD?

>> WELL, BASICALLY ALL THE BAD STUFF.

HE THINKS GUN CONTROL PASSED ANDTHAT WE SHUT DOWN GUANTANAMO

THREE YEARS AGO.

HE THINKS REPUBLICANS WILL ACTUALLY WORK WITH HIM.

I KNOW.

I'M TELLING YOU, THE PRESIDENT IS IN A BUBBLE.

>> Jon: HE'S A BUBBLE BOY.

>> YES.

EXACTLY.

>> Jon: WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA BE KEPT IN

THE DARK ABOUT IT?

>> BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO BUM HIM OUT, JON.

HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE AMERICA'S INSPIRATION.

THE FACE OF HOPE AND CHANGE.

HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THE MOVING SPEECHES IF HE KNOWS ALL

THE TERRIBLE STUFF THAT IS REALLY GOING ON?

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN SIT HERE AND TELL JOKES EVERY NIGHT.

>> Jon: I PRETEND I'M A CHARACTER IN A MOVIE ABOUT THE

COUNTRY FALLING APART.

>> THANKS, JON.

A GOOD TIP.

>> Jon: IF THE PRESIDENT DOESN'TKNOW WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING,

HOW DOES HE RUN THE COUNTRY?

>> OH, JON, NO PRESIDENT HAS RUNTHE COUNTRY SINCE KENNEDY.

YOU HEARD WHAT THEY SAID.

OUR SPYING OPERATION IS TOTALLY UNDER THE CONTROL OF THE

NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE PRIORITIESFRAME WORK.

>> Jon: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.

YOU COULDN'T COME UP WITH A MORESINISTER SOUNDING ORGANIZATION.

>> EXACTLY. >> Jon: TO SECRETLY RUN THE

COUNTRY.

HOW MANY OF THEM ARE OPERATING THROUGH THE BOWELS OF OUR

GOVERNMENT WITHOUT OUR KNOWLEDGE?

>> Jon: YOU SAID BOWELS.

>> YES. >> AND DON'T WORRY, THERE'S TWO.

NIPF AND THEY'RE OVERSEEN BY THENEW WORLD ORDER

REGIONAL DIRECTORATE.

>> Jon: WAIT.

THEY'RE OVERSEEN BY THE NEWWORLD ORDER REGIONAL

DIRECTORATE?

>> YOU CAN'T SAY THAT. >> Jon: WHY NOT?

>> BECAUSE YOU CAN'T THROW AROUND THE N WORD.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

>> Jon: YOU JUST SAID THE N WORD.

>> HEY, JON, I CAN SAY THAT.

I HAVE THE SECURITY CLEARANCE.

>> Jon: THANK YOU, JESSICA.

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