Adam Sandler

  • Aired:  11/10/11
  •  | Views: 35,738

Adam Sandler discusses the shirt-jacket hybrid his wife got him and provides a glimpse at what he does when his family goes to sleep. (6:01)

>> Jon: HEY, WELCOME BACK,

OUR GUEST TONIGHT-- JACK OR

JILL!

>> SO HOW LONG HOW LONG DOES

IT TAKE TO GET A RESPONSE ON

THE COMPUTER DATING THINGS,

I'M NEW TO THIS.

>> I MEAN IT CAN TAKE A DAY,

IT CAN TAKE A WEEK, YOU KNOW

WHAT I MEAN, FOR SOMEONE

LIKE HER, WHAT WAS THAT

SHALL DID -- WHY DID YOU

SAY-- LIKE HER.

>> JUST ONE LIKE HER, LIKE

IN HER 40s, STILL SINGLE,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,

INCREDIBLY HOMELY.

>> WOW, YOU HATE YOUR JOB,

DON'T YOU.

>> NO, I ONLY SAID THAT

BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT ONE

TIME.

>> I CAN SAY THAT BECAUSE

I'M HER TWIN.

>> LAKERS GAME TOMORROW

NIGHT.

WE HAVE TO MAKE THAT THING

HAPPEN.

EVERYBODY'S REALLY NERVOUS

AROUND HERE.

>> I KNOW, I KNOW.

>> WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A TWIN.

>> OH, JACKIE HAS A TWIN

SISTER.

>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU HAD A

TWIN SISTER.

>> I MEAN SHE'S --

>> I IDENTICAL OR FRATERNAL.

>> NOCTURNAL LIKE A BAT.

>> Jon: PLEASE WELCOME ADAM

SANDLER!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SANDLER!

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: HOW YOU BEEN?

>> I GOT-- I CAME OUT HERE,

I WANTED TO REMEMBER THREE

THINGS TO TELL YOU.

>> Jon: TELL ME.

>> I CAN'T REMEMBER ANY OF

THEM, I GOT NONE, I GOT NONE,

HOW ARE YOU.

>> Jon: I'M DOING VERY WELL.

>> THE CORDUROY SEEMS THICK

FOR THIS --

>> I HAD CORDUROY PANTS ON

TOO AND SOMEBODY SAID DON'T

WEAR CORDUROY ON CORDUROY SO

I SWITCHED IT OUT THIS SAY

NEW THING, MY WIFE HAS BEEN

GETTING ME NEW CLOTHES.

I LOOK BACK AT PIE OLD, I

HAVE BEEN ON TELEVISION A

LONG TIME AND I'VE BEEN

WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES

LITERALLY ON EVERY SHOW.

SO SHE WENT OUT AND GOT ME

THIS CORDUROY SHIRT THIS

OTHER FLANNEL ONE AND A

T-SHIRT.

>> Jon: BUT THE R WORD AND

AGAIN THIS IS NOTHING

AGAINST THE WIFE, BUT THAT

IS NOT-- THAT'S NOT A SHIRT.

YOU'RE WEARING-- THAT IS

CLEARLY SOME SORT OF COAT

SHIRT HYBRID.

THAT'S NOT --

>> BECAUSE SHE WAS BEING

NICE AND KNEW I WAS GOING TO

BE COLD, ALSO I DON'T-- I

REFUSE TO TRY ON THINGS SO

LIKE WHEN I GO TO A STORE,

SHE GOES HEY, YOU WANT A-- AND

I SAY JUST GET IT.

AND THEN IT'S EITHER TOO BIG

OR TOO TIGHT BUT I HAVE TO

WEAR IT ANYWAYS BECAUSE--

(LAUGHTER)

>> Jon: NOW IT DOES SEEM

LIKE UNDERNEATH THE NEW --

>> IS AN OLDER SHIRT.

>> Jon: SHIRT JACKET OR

SHACKET.

>> THAT'S WHY I HAD IT

BUTTONED TO COVER THE OLD TO

SHOW THE WIFE RESPECT.

>> Jon: S THIS'S THE KEY TO

A HAPPY MARRIAGE, THOSE

TYPES OF COMPROMISES.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jon: AT WHAT POINT,

BECAUSE SI HAVE BEEN-- WE

HAVE BEEN MARRIED PROBABLY

ABOUT THE SAME AMOUNT.

HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN

MARRIED?

>> I-- WITH THE SAME GIRL 14,

MARRIED ABOUT 7 OR 8.

>> Jon: VERY SIMILAR, WITH

MY WIFE FOR ABOUT 15 YEARS,

AND MI JUST GETTING TO THE

POINT WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO

CHANGE MY OUTFIT.

>> THIS IS A NEW THING, SHE

WAS COOL AT THE BEGINNING

AND STARTED REALIZING, HE IS

DRESSES NICE AND I HAVE THE

TWO DAUGHTERS WHO YELL AT ME

FOR NOT DRESSING NICE.

SO THAT BECAME LIKE A FACTOR

IN THE HOUSE.

WHEN WHICH COME DOWNSTAIRS

IN THE MORNING AND ALL THREE

OF THEM WOULD SAY PLEASE

DON'T.

THEN I SAID ALL RIGHT, GO

GET ME SOME NEW STUFF.

>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT I GET

IN THE HOUSE, THIS IS NEW AS

WELL, DADDY, I DON'T LIKE

THE YOU SMELL.

>> THAT'S NOT YOU.

THEIR NOSE IS STRONGER AT

THAT AGE.

(LAUGHTER)

YEAH NO, NO NO, MY KIDS, MY

KIDS, IF I-- SHE'LL SAY

BRUSH YOUR TEETH A LITTLE

BETTER, BRUSH YOUR TEETH A

LITTLE BETTER AND MAYBE I'LL

KISS YOU.

>> Jon: THAT'S NICE THOUGH,

AND ALSO CONCERN FOR YOUR

HEALTH BECAUSE PLACKE, THE

BACTERIA, ONE OF THE LEADING

CAUSES OF ALL KINDS OF

DISTRESS THEY'RE FINDING

THESE DAYS.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Jon: SO I VERY MUCH

APPRECIATE THAT.

THAT'S NICE OF HER TO DO

THAT.

>> SHE LOVES HER DAD.

>> Jon: YOU SAY SHE BUT ONLY

ONE LOVES THE DAD.

THE OTHER-- BECAUSE THERE IS

THREE.

>> THE OTHER ONE IS YOUNG

ENOUGH TO GET PAST THE

STENCH AND GET RIGHT IN

THERE AND START KISSING ME.

IT'S THE FIVE-YEAR-OLD THAT

JUST GOES THIS IS REALLY

HORRIFIC WHAT I'M SMELLING

RIGHT NOW.

>> Jon: ALL RIGHT.

I APPRECIATE THOUGH YOUR USE

OF VOCABULARY.

>> HORRIFIC.

>> THAT WAS GIANT, HORRIFIC

IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS.

HORRIFIC AND MET MORES TO US

IS A NICE ONE.

>> Stephen: THAT IS A NICE

ONE.

>> THAT'S ALL I GOT.

>> Jon: ARE YOU GOING TO

STICK AROUND AND WATCH THE

JETS.

>> I WITHOUT LIKE TO SEE

THAT.

MY KIDS WANT ME TO GET BACK

TO L.A. THEY DEMANDED I COME

HOME.

I SAID IT'S ONE EXTRA DAY,

IF I COULD SEE THE JETS-PATS

GAME.

YOU COULD WATCH IT ON

TELEVISION, THEY SAID.

SO I'M GOING TO GO HOME.

>> Jon: WHEN WAS THE LAST

TIME YOU MADE A DECISION?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

>> THAT'S A GOOD ONE, JONNY.

>> Jon: I MEAN ARE YOU

WRAPPED IN CORDUROY, YOU

CAN'T WATCH-- YOU'RE LIKE A

SHELL OF YOURSELF.

ARE YOU LIKE A MICROWAVEABLE

BURRITYO IN THAT THING.

>> HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS.

MY KIDS FALL ASLEEP MAYBE 9,

89:30, 9:00, MAYBE 10.

THE WIFE FALLS ASLEEP MAYBE

1:00.

FROM 1:00 UNTIL 6:00 IT'S

BANANAS.

YOU GOT TO SEE.

I PUT ON MY OLD CLOTHES, AND

LAY THERE.

>> Jon: FAMILY TIME.

THAT'S VERY NICE.

ARE WE GOING-- WE'RE GOING,

WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE, ARE

WE DOING ANOTHER ONE?

WE MIGHT DO ANOTHER ONE

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU

KNOW THIS, THE LAST ACT, I

JUST YELLED AT PEOPLE FOR

LIKE TWO MINUTES T WASN'T

THAT FUNNY.

>> WHAT IS IT?

>> ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!

>> Jon: JACK AND JILL IN THE

THEATRES ON FRIDAY, SEE IT

NOW BECAUSE THE WAY THIS MAN

IS GOING TO-- IN HIS

CORDUROY IS NOT GOING TO

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