Affordable Horror Story

  • Aired:  11/05/13
  •  | Views: 177,960

President Obama qualifies his formerly definitive statements regarding the Affordable Care Act, and his opponents lie like motherf**kers about its effects. (6:09)

>> NOW HERE IN THE STATES WE'RESTILL WORKING OUT SOME OF THE

FINE PRINT ON OUR NEW HEALTHCARESYSTEM.

RIGHT NOW THERE'S TALK THAT THEPRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

WAS LESS THAN A HUNDRED PERCENTHONEST WITH THE RHETORIC.

>> IF YOU LIKE YOUR CURRENTPLAN, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO KEEP

IT.

>> DID HE JUST SAY IF WE LIKEOUR CURRENT PLAN, WE'LL BE ABLE

TO KEEP IT.

>> LET ME REPEAT THAT.

IF YOU LIKE YOUR PLAN, YOU'LL BEABLE TO KEEP IT.

[LAUGHTER]>> I THOUGHT THAT WAS WHAT YOU

SAID.

IF YOU LIKE YOUR DOCTOR, YOU CANKEEP YOUR DOCTOR.

>> WANT TO ADD ANY CAVEATS TOTHAT

BECAUSE IT SOUNDS DEFINITIVE.

>> WE WILL KEEP THIS PROMISE TOTHE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

IF YOU LIKE YOUR DOCTOR, YOUWILL BE ABLE TO KEEP YOUR

DOCTOR.

PERIOD.

IF YOU LIKE YOUR HEALTHCAREPLAN, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO KEEP

YOUR HEALTHCARE PLAN.

PERIOD.

>> PERIOD.

[LAUGHTER]FIRST OF ALL I DO NOT THINK

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO READ THEPUNCTUATION IN THE SPEECHES.

[LAUGHTER]I'M PRETTY SURE.

HOW WOULD THE DEFINITIVESTATEMENT SOUND POST

IMPLEMENTATION OF THE HEALTHCAREACT WHEN IT'S ABUNDANTLY COOL

YOU CANNOT KEEP YOUR PLAN ORYOUR DOCTOR.

>> IF YOU HAD OR HAVE ONE OFTHESE PLANS BEFORE THE

AFFORDABLE CARE ACT CAME INTOLAW, AND YOU REALLY LIKE THAT

PLAN.

WHAT WE SAID WAS YOU COULD KEEPIT.

IF IT HASN'T CHANGED SINCE THELAW'S PASSED.

>> WELL, NO, NO, NO.

NO, WHAT YOU SAID WAS, YOU CANKEEP IT.

PERIOD.

NOW WHAT YOU SAID, WHAT YOU SAIDTHERE WAS MORE LIKE YOU CAN KEEP

YOUR HEALTHCARE PLAN ELLIPSESCOMMA BECAUSE IT MAY NO LONGER

MEET THE REQUIREMENTS OR YOURINSURANCE COMPANY MAY NOT BE

EXTENDING YOUR PLAN.

PERIOD. EMOTICON DENOTING A COMBINATION OF EMBARRASSMENT

AND ARROGANCE.

DID I DO THAT.

SO.

YES THE PRESIDENT WASSOMEWHAT DISHONEST.

SOMEWHAT DISHONEST ABOUT THEPROMISE OF HIS HEALTHCARE

PROGRAM.

BUT HERE'S THE WEIRD PART.

HIS OPPONENTS HAVE BEEN LYINGLIKE [BLEEP] ABOUT ITS EFFECTS.

>> IT'S ESTIMATED THAT OBAMACAREWILL INCREASE TAXES OVER A

TRILLION DOLLARS AND ADD $6TRILLION TO THE DEFICIT.

>> WE'RE LOOKING AT PROBABLY$20,000 IN PREMIUMS NEXT YEAR.

AND WE DON'T EVEN HAVE INSURANCEFOR OUR DAUGHTER WHO HAS A

PREEXISTING CONDITION.

>> $95 FINE THAT A LOT OF YOUNGPEOPLE ARE GOING TO TAKE IN

ORDER TO AVOID PRISON TIME ORWHATEVER RAMIFICATIONS.

>> VLADIMIR LENIN HE SAIDSOCIALIZED MEDICINE IS THE

KEYSTONE OF THE ARCH TO THESOCIALIST STATE.

>> OBAMACARE IS REALLY I THINKTHE WORST THING THAT HAS

HAPPENED IN THIS NATION SINCESLAVERY.

[LAUGHTER]>> Jon: OK HE'S

DISHONEST BUT IT IS SORT OFWEIRD IF THAT IS THE WORST LAW

KNOWN TO MAN KIND, SO MANYPEOPLE NEED TO STRETCH THE TRUTH

TO ATTACK IT. IFSOMETHING'S GENERALLY BAD

TELLING THE TRUTH SHOULD BESUFFICIENT. THERE'S A REASON

12 YEARS A SLAVE DOESN'T HAVEVAMPIRES AND ZOMBIES.

[LAUGHTER]NOT TO MENTION SOME ARGUMENTS

AGAINST THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACTMAKE NO SENSE WHATSOEVER.

>> THE POINT IS WHO SHOULD SETMINIMUM.

A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE SAYING WHYSHOULD SOMEBODY IN WASHINGTON

TELL ME I HAVE TO HAVE THESETEN ITEMS IN EVERY PLAN, TEN

ESSENTIAL BENEFITS.

IT'S LIKE PASSING THE LAW THEONLY CAR YOU CAN BUY IS A FULLY

LOADED CADILLAC.

WHAT IF YOU CAN ONLY AFFORD AHONDA.

>> Jon: SO YOUR POINT IS WHYSHOULD THE GOVERNMENT SET TEN

STANDARDS FOR HEALTHCARE WHENTHEY DON'T SET TEN STANDARDS

FOR CARS.

WHAT?

THIS IS THE FEDERAL STANDARDSFOR AUTOMOBILES.

[LAUGHTER]THE REASON IS BECAUSE THE

FEDERAL GOVERNMENT SETS AT LEAST50 STANDARD ITEMS THAT MUST BE

IN EITHER A CADILLAC OR A HONDAIF THEY WOULD LIKE TO BE

REFERRED TO AS A CAR.

[LAUGHTER]SO MY GUESS IS YOU'RE GOING TO

BE ABLE TO FIND SOME PEOPLE WHODID NOT BENEFIT FROM THIS LAW

AND SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLYBURDENED BY THIS LAW.

DON'T PRETEND THAT THE OLDSYSTEM WAS COCOON.

WE WON'T EVER GET OLD AND WEWON'T EVER DIE.

SERIOUSLY MAN [BLEEP] BEFORESUCKED.

I GIVE YOU THE SHANGRILAOF THE LAW BEFORE

OBAMACARE.

>> I HAD A BILL FOR $180,000.

>> BLUE SHIELD REJECTED ME.

>> BACKLOG AND IMPROPERLY DENIEDCLAIMS ENCOURAGING ITS EMPLOYEES

TO DROP POLICY HOLDERS ANDACTUALLY PAYING BONUSES BASED ON

HOW MUCH MONEY THE COMPANYSAVED. THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

>> Jon: AND YOU KNOW ♪ YOUWERE THEN ♪

[LAUGHTER]I KNOW YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT SOME

OF THESE NEW CASES.

YOU KNOW WHO IS GETTING THESEINSURANCE POLICIES PULLED OUT

FROM UNDER THEM? IT'SNOT WEALTHY PEOPLE.

BUT YOU CAN'T PULL THAT CONCERN[BLEEP] WHEN THIS IS THE WAY YOU

ACTED TO THE MILLIONS WITHOUTINSURANCE IN THE OLD SYSTEM.

>> I'M NOT SURE WHY WE NEED TOREVAMP S MULTITRILLION DOLLAR

SYSTEM TO TAKE CARE OF AHANDFUL OF PEOPLE.

>> A HANDFUL OF MILLIONS OFPEOPLE.

IF YOU LIKE NOT HAVING ADOCTOR YOU GOT TO KEEP NOT

HAVING A DOCTOR.

PERIOD.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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